but it's not. the way his name comes out in her sick, sweet voice still makes his stomach drop. his teeth clench. that smile, that perfect, unsettling thing— he hates it. he hates that despite the steps he's taken, despite knowing her fate, he still hasn't quite let go of this anchor completely. like demian had said.
but he's better. better than before, better than the beginning, better than the mess of a coward he was when he originally met her. he takes her comment as proof that the one time she dug into him and found something he'd hidden away didn't mean she knew him completely at all.
( he didn't just learn it.
all of it was a lie. didn't he lie about being okay with the things around him? to his family? to his classmates? just like she'd lied about being his friend? just like she lied about him starting it?
or... no— )
it's fine. if she won't come to meet him, he'll come to her. as he does. on his hands and knees, even if he has to crawl, again, he'll... this time, certainly... kill all those lies properly. ]
I-I'll show you, Kromer. The truth you don't remember... A future that- will... did come true. A world where you're dead, bleeding in front of me, and I'm... I'M—!
[ freer than anyone else. ignoring echoes of that truth of the wonderful world she spoke of overlapping over him in the past, he focuses only on this fragment of a world he saw, that she did not.
his hands shake. always, they always do, as he runs at her, ascending that hill and aiming to drive the knife into whatever part of her he can reach first. ]
no subject
[ in another context, this would be so romantic!!
but it's not. the way his name comes out in her sick, sweet voice still makes his stomach drop. his teeth clench. that smile, that perfect, unsettling thing— he hates it. he hates that despite the steps he's taken, despite knowing her fate, he still hasn't quite let go of this anchor completely. like demian had said.
but he's better. better than before, better than the beginning, better than the mess of a coward he was when he originally met her. he takes her comment as proof that the one time she dug into him and found something he'd hidden away didn't mean she knew him completely at all.
( he didn't just learn it.
all of it was a lie. didn't he lie about being okay with the things around him? to his family? to his classmates? just like she'd lied about being his friend? just like she lied about him starting it?
or... no— )
it's fine. if she won't come to meet him, he'll come to her. as he does. on his hands and knees, even if he has to crawl, again, he'll... this time, certainly... kill all those lies properly. ]
I-I'll show you, Kromer. The truth you don't remember... A future that- will... did come true. A world where you're dead, bleeding in front of me, and I'm... I'M—!
[ freer than anyone else. ignoring echoes of that truth of the wonderful world she spoke of overlapping over him in the past, he focuses only on this fragment of a world he saw, that she did not.
his hands shake. always, they always do, as he runs at her, ascending that hill and aiming to drive the knife into whatever part of her he can reach first. ]