video ; @thundaga

[astraphilia]

[ hello and welcome to Boredom Hours, sponsored by one too many midafternoon beers and a perpetual inability to not immediately make his ennui everyone else's problem. today's host is... Reno!

when the video starts, it's to a shockingly decently framed shot of Reno doing the hooligan squat on the front stoop of his apartment building. he's got a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth, and once he's sure that the video is rolling he takes a long drag of it before he speaks. ]

Sup. I'm Reno. Some of ya may know me from my colorful past as "guy who got yanked into pool by tentacle monster."

[ probably nobody knows him that way but it's fine. we are not concerned with strict veracity here. Reno blows a neat smoke ring and grins the kind of grin that means he knows he's being a pain in the ass. ]

I was thinkin', y'know, there's only so many of us. Probably ain't a bad idea to get to know each other, right? [ he gestures with his cigarette as he speaks as if to underscore his words. ] We need some conversation starters. Some icebreakers, y'know? Everybody's favorite highlight from their corporate bonding retreats.

So! [ he holds up a hand to count on.

one finger. ] Two truths and a lie. Post 'em, let other people guess. I'll leave mine too. Shoutout to the blond girlie who had that party a couple months back for this one.

[ two fingers. ] Hot or not. Or smash or pass, whatever you wanna call it. Post yourself and let people vote, if you're brave. Or post your friends if you want to fuck around. You can all see my face right now so count that as my submission.

[ three fingers. ] Creativity exercise, open prompt. You can go anywhere, be anybody, do anything you want. The world ain't ending and there's no war or whatever the hell going on. Who are you and what are you doing? [ brief smoke break, and then Reno stubs the butt out on the cement, exhaling as he says, ] Me, I wanna make mediocre coffee for minimum wage and not worry about shit except makin' rent.

[ and lastly, four fingers. ] "Reno, this is fuckin' stupid and I don't want to do it." Okay, nobody's got a gun to your head. We ain't even got guns here. Do what you want.

[ his four fingers curl in so he can offer a cheerful, if a bit manic, thumbs-up before he reaches out to turn off the video.

just before he touches the button, though, he pauses as if something just occurred to him— ] Oh, shit—also, drop map pins for your favorite restaurant in this place. I'm in the market for new eats, bonus points if it's spicy.

[ okay, now he's gone. ]

Comments

[coolerjunpei]

like one of those big sleepy dogs that was born an old man? yeah, maybe. i could see that. might be nice.

one day, anyway. still weird that there's no animals here.

[astraphilia]

yeah exactly, you get it. plus, big = better cuddling probably if you're into dog cuddles

I agree. my home city doesn't have a lot of animals but it sure feels like a barnyard compared to this place

[coolerjunpei]

i could be into dog cuddles. i dunno. never had a dog i didn't share before.

for real though, it's creepy. not even any bugs? i'm not ruling out the simulation theory.

[astraphilia]

you didn't cuddle the shared dogs? bro

tell me your simulation theory

[coolerjunpei]

it was just the one shared dog and it wasn't really a cuddling kind of place where we were doing the sharing. we're talking another experiment, only voluntary that time.

simulation theory is we're in a simulation, i guess...

[rimshot. okay,]

well, think about it. if our bodies are in some warehouse somewhere hooked up to wires and goo like in that movie about the one, and it's only our minds in here, doesn't that explain a lot? the way everything restocks but we never see anybody, the way you can't really die, the way your things and messages all disappear if you "leave"... and this place is so generic, it's like someone made a city without really understanding what a city is like, you know? i mean, come on, no rats?

can't prove it though. not yet, anyway.

[astraphilia]

[ oh, wow. ]

my man, I can't even begin to tell ya how much I fuckin hate that idea

[ it's not that he thinks Junpei's wrong. in fact, he thinks Junpei may well be very right. it's just that Hojo's experimentation never sat well with him to begin with and what Junpei describes is right up Hojo's alley. ]

but it's a pretty convincing theory I'll give you that

what would you need in order to prove it?

[coolerjunpei]

hey, i didn't call it the really cool and comforting theory.

i guess to prove it you'd need to see the code or something, right? you ever break a video game? something like that. a simulation is a program, and there's no such thing as a perfectly functioning program, sooooo.....

but i'm just talking out of my ass, i'm not a computers guy. maybe i'll try finding a wall with a weird look and see if i can go through it.

[astraphilia]

then the question would be are the imperfections hidden in places we can access or not

love the idea of you just finding weird walls to walk into face first tho. I feel like you should let me join that adventure just to observe, like, for validation of your hypotheses yknow

[coolerjunpei]

yeah if i can jump face first into a corner at the right angle i can clip through the universe. you can come if you help me find weird walls in the first place.

but for real: yeah, basically. if i had to guess where the problem spots are, it'd be somewhere in the weird fog.

[astraphilia]

right exactly I'll find the weird wall and you test it. perfect combo

the fog keeps receding though, right? so maybe there'll be more to see once there's more city in general

[coolerjunpei]

sure whatever, but what's there *right now*? you know what i mean? does this place even exist before they show it to us? no clue.

[astraphilia]

feeling increasingly like this is a conversation we should have while high

I do know what you mean tho. is it a fully generated game map or is it loading as we enter it.

[coolerjunpei]

yeah, you're getting it. dunno about getting high though, the last guy who wanted to get high with me up and disappeared a couple weeks ago. that wrench guy? you know him?

[astraphilia]

I'm familiar. we weren't friends but I knew of him. he put together some doc I read through on my first or second day, I think. seemed like a character