[ Reading too much into it, huh? While itā€™s true that Lestat will often become all too fascinated with the trees to care very much about seeing the forest, that comment in particular only makes him want to focus in a little tighter on what might be going unsaid here. Doesnā€™t Daniel have children? Well, itā€™s true that having a family does not necessarily mean a happy relationship, but Daniel is such a sweet-hearted man that Lestat finds it difficult to imagine anything else.
Itā€™s a good thing Lestat canā€™t read minds over video, or he might be tempted to forego the assurances heā€™d made. ]
That is where it becomes difficult, you know. As vampires our memory is almost perfect, I remember every second of my life with him, and small gestures never feel enough to me.
[ He shifts his crossed legs from one to the other, in a movement that might almost be considered fidgeting, if Lestat were the kind of man to fidget. ]
ā€¦ I did not grow up with a lot of romance in my life. There were no role models in my home to show me what it was supposed to look like. When I had the opportunity for love, I showed it in those small, considerate ways you speak of, but doubt was always much stronger. And after doubt comes resentment, as we all know.
[ A moment to pause. Somehow, itā€™s easy to spill certain tales like this to Daniel. Lestat takes a moment to wonder if talking to humans is always like this - was that why Louis had found it so easy to talk to that reporter boy? Perhaps itā€™s merely what Lestat can see in Daniel that makes him want to share. Whoā€™s to say, really. ]
I worry that such small things might make him doubt how much I care; if I were to suddenly start to reel myself in, would he think I no longer have the passion for it? [ A little sigh. ] He wanted a quiet evening for his birthday, you know. Just quiet intimacy between the two of us. I knew as much before he told me, but I couldnā€™t resist the impulse to celebrate loudly. He made a face, but I know he enjoyed it. If I hadnā€™t done that, if Iā€™d given him what he professed to want, he would have been happy, but I canā€™t help but think he might have wondered why I resisted.
[ Another sigh, this one a little more childishly frustrated, though it soon turns into a little chuckle as he concludes: ]
no subject
Itā€™s a good thing Lestat canā€™t read minds over video, or he might be tempted to forego the assurances heā€™d made. ]
That is where it becomes difficult, you know. As vampires our memory is almost perfect, I remember every second of my life with him, and small gestures never feel enough to me.
[ He shifts his crossed legs from one to the other, in a movement that might almost be considered fidgeting, if Lestat were the kind of man to fidget. ]
ā€¦ I did not grow up with a lot of romance in my life. There were no role models in my home to show me what it was supposed to look like. When I had the opportunity for love, I showed it in those small, considerate ways you speak of, but doubt was always much stronger. And after doubt comes resentment, as we all know.
[ A moment to pause. Somehow, itā€™s easy to spill certain tales like this to Daniel. Lestat takes a moment to wonder if talking to humans is always like this - was that why Louis had found it so easy to talk to that reporter boy? Perhaps itā€™s merely what Lestat can see in Daniel that makes him want to share. Whoā€™s to say, really. ]
I worry that such small things might make him doubt how much I care; if I were to suddenly start to reel myself in, would he think I no longer have the passion for it? [ A little sigh. ] He wanted a quiet evening for his birthday, you know. Just quiet intimacy between the two of us. I knew as much before he told me, but I couldnā€™t resist the impulse to celebrate loudly. He made a face, but I know he enjoyed it. If I hadnā€™t done that, if Iā€™d given him what he professed to want, he would have been happy, but I canā€™t help but think he might have wondered why I resisted.
[ Another sigh, this one a little more childishly frustrated, though it soon turns into a little chuckle as he concludes: ]
Love is certainly not easy, mon ami.