un: junpei | video

[coolerjunpei]

[The video opens on Junpei in an office chair - in his Secret Club Meeting Room (read: generic office building conference room) although this is not a secret meeting. This is Junpei spinning slowly in an office chair while he holds the camera up, tilting as far back as he can without tipping the chair over. So it's going great.]

So, city-zens, [.....ahem,] I've got some miscellaneous questions for you.

First, time travel: real? Let me know. [......,] I mean, you know— Before you got here, that is. Like how experienced are you in the realm of quantum... quantum-y goodness? I just thought that maybe it would be real for somebody else by now, but I dunno... Let me know that one instead.

[Cough. Anyway.]

Second, are we all just, uh... hanging out now, I guess? Um, like— who's trying to clip through the weird fog and get out still? Anybody? I'm looking for group, or whatever you call it. We can do code names.

[Junpei is not a gamer.... don't believe this... he's just cringe and thinking about half-press-A-ing through the universe, to wit as he spins faster in his chair:]

Third, whoooo's all in for simulation theory? [as dryly as possible, womp...] Eh? Woooo yeah... simulation theory...!

[The video tilts as he lets go with one hand to hold up... a pinched-fingers hand puppet 🤌... it's still fine, he's doing great. He pitches his voice up higher for the puppet, because of course he does:]

But Junpei, how is this a simulation? Well duh, why else would this place be like a city that doesn't know what a city is supposed to be like? And all the weird loading fog? C'mon! Buuuut Juuuunpei, are we all full of tubes and stuck in goo pods like in that movie?— [Ah, ahem, cough. He puts his hand down.] Maybe.

Or uh, whatever else is in the theory pile. Half the people I was messing around with about theories went and disappeared, soooo... Well, I'm gonna get serious cabin fever if I can't figure something oUT—

[Local Man Tips The Chair Over and Totally Wipes Out, stay tuned for updates. The video ends when the phone drops face down onto the floor, bye.......]

Comments

[coolerjunpei]

[The ramifications!! The rammys!!!!]

Uh— sure, I guess. Or like when you're at a restaurant and the wait staff start singing Happy Birthday and all you can do is sit there and pretend to enjoy it.

Like that.

[reaperrabbit]

[Yes, exactly like that, when words have fewer letters they make way more sense!]

...

Sure.

[This is definitely a reference that Brook understands fully and completely. He has experienced this exact experience.]

[coolerjunpei]

What, you've never been to a chain restaurant on your birthday, or the-closest-Saturday-to-your-birthday? You're missing out.

[.....,] Yours is good too. There've been a handful of other mes I've kind of screwed over without asking.

[reaperrabbit]

[Brook would rather not talk about what he has or has not missed out on re: his birthday, so he dodges that tangent by ignoring it entirely. Parkour!]

...Isn't that just life? Everyone's always screwing other people over without asking, or even thinking about it. Seems to me the difference is just, in your case, it's not other people.

[coolerjunpei]

[Get your ass to an Applebee's, Brook... or that welcome diner in town.

Anyway, he scoffs. Fair hit!]

Yeah, people are pretty terrible. I know— I've seen some shit that makes me want to give up on people forever. That's not entirely the same as my thing, though.

[reaperrabbit]

Yeah? What's different about it?

[Infinite screwed-over Junpeis, infinite screwed-over sinners... potato, potahto.]

[coolerjunpei]

Probably the quantum ability to fuck myself over and not even realize it until it's too late. I dunno, it's like...

[He stares off at nothing for a second, thinking perhaps about how to make this into another metaphor about American chain restaurants-- he's got nothing. He shrugs.]

It's just different. You'd have to do it yourself to get it, I guess. No offense.

[reaperrabbit]

Eh. I don't expect anybody to get my circumstances, either, so whatever.

[Shrug.]

For what it's worth, dead is dead where I'm from, too. It's just that dead doesn't mean gone forever. From what I understand, here, you just... pretty much reset to how you were when you died, right back here in this city. Right?

[coolerjunpei]

That'll work.

[He can embrace the whatever. Not trying to explain all the details is so much simpler, actually.]

And yeah, it's something like that. There's some memory loss of the actual, y'know, incident from what I've heard... I guess our mastermind doesn't want us to be too traumatized by anything. [ha ha.] But go back a second, what do you mean, you got ghosts or something?

[reaperrabbit]

Nah. Or if we do, I haven't seen any. I just mean that the souls persist. Eternally, even. Just, most of them spend that eternity stuck in heaven, hell, or purgatory.

That doesn't mean there's no way back to the world of the living at all.

[coolerjunpei]

Oh, an afterlife. Huh. I wouldn't know if that's real back home for me, but given some of us are sliding around spacetime... Prooobably not.

Still, what really matters is whatever's going on here when people die. Not that I'm gonna test it or anything.

[reaperrabbit]

Me neither. Dying sucks. Besides, if what you just said is true and you're gonna forget things anyway, there's no point. Whatever you might learn's just gonna poof out of your head.

[coolerjunpei]

Right? I'm all for figuring stuff out, but I've got my limits. There's gotta be a better way to learn what's happening behind the scenes.

[reaperrabbit]

Has anyone tried getting into... I don't know. The sewers? Or the phone network, through hacking? Like, the stuff that's literally behind the scenes of what makes a city work.

[These are genuine questions. Brook has no idea what's been tried already.]

What about the subway tunnels?

[coolerjunpei]

There was a guy here who was like a super hacker who tried doing his hackerman stuff, but I'm pretty sure it didn't get him anywhere. Same with the subway, people have tried to follow the tracks but it just loops back around, I think?

[Which... leaves..... ough]

Do you want to head into the sewers?

[reaperrabbit]

[He shoots Junpei a look that says, "Do you think I want to head into the sewers?"]

I'll do it if people think it might be useful.

[coolerjunpei]

[Hahaaaa. He holds up a hand like, what? What did he say?]

If it'll help, I guess... So far nobody's come forward with a plan they're working on, so who knows what they're doing out there.

[reaperrabbit]

Well, what're you doing in there? I haven't been here long, I don't know what I should be trying.

[Go ahead, Junpei, tell him what to do. Even if it's to go jump in a lake. Or to try getting into the sewers.]

[coolerjunpei]

You think I know what I'm doing? I tried clipping through the walls and all I got was a bruised shoulder.

[It's rough out there for a dingus, alright. He has only so many ideas.]

[reaperrabbit]

...Wanna jump down a manhole with me, then.

[A Fun Adventure With Your New Rabbit Friend!]

[coolerjunpei]

[......,

This Might As Well Happen (tm)]

Yeah, I guess. At least let me go find some rubber boots first.

[reaperrabbit]

Hm. Guess I should, too. And an outfit I can throw in the trash after.

[Brook doesn't even have shoes.]

[coolerjunpei]

[Homie please get proper footwear??]

Oh yeah, good point. Maybe ponchos or something...?

[reaperrabbit]

[Think he can find pink light-up sneaks in his size?]

Unless you can get those suits people wear into the radiation zones in one of these stores, yeah. And some heavy-duty gloves.

[coolerjunpei]

Hazmats, you mean? I'll go check out the generic Sears and see what I can find, but if I get locked in the mall again, you gotta come break me out.

[Ha ha. Anyway yes, absolutely. If Junpei can find heelies, Brook can find some dope light-up sneaks.]