un: junpei | video

[coolerjunpei]

[The video opens on Junpei in an office chair - in his Secret Club Meeting Room (read: generic office building conference room) although this is not a secret meeting. This is Junpei spinning slowly in an office chair while he holds the camera up, tilting as far back as he can without tipping the chair over. So it's going great.]

So, city-zens, [.....ahem,] I've got some miscellaneous questions for you.

First, time travel: real? Let me know. [......,] I mean, you know— Before you got here, that is. Like how experienced are you in the realm of quantum... quantum-y goodness? I just thought that maybe it would be real for somebody else by now, but I dunno... Let me know that one instead.

[Cough. Anyway.]

Second, are we all just, uh... hanging out now, I guess? Um, like— who's trying to clip through the weird fog and get out still? Anybody? I'm looking for group, or whatever you call it. We can do code names.

[Junpei is not a gamer.... don't believe this... he's just cringe and thinking about half-press-A-ing through the universe, to wit as he spins faster in his chair:]

Third, whoooo's all in for simulation theory? [as dryly as possible, womp...] Eh? Woooo yeah... simulation theory...!

[The video tilts as he lets go with one hand to hold up... a pinched-fingers hand puppet 🤌... it's still fine, he's doing great. He pitches his voice up higher for the puppet, because of course he does:]

But Junpei, how is this a simulation? Well duh, why else would this place be like a city that doesn't know what a city is supposed to be like? And all the weird loading fog? C'mon! Buuuut Juuuunpei, are we all full of tubes and stuck in goo pods like in that movie?— [Ah, ahem, cough. He puts his hand down.] Maybe.

Or uh, whatever else is in the theory pile. Half the people I was messing around with about theories went and disappeared, soooo... Well, I'm gonna get serious cabin fever if I can't figure something oUT—

[Local Man Tips The Chair Over and Totally Wipes Out, stay tuned for updates. The video ends when the phone drops face down onto the floor, bye.......]

Comments

[thefreak]

( Eddie is definitely not laughing anymore, nope, his hand is just covering his mouth for perfectly legitimate reasons. )

That's actually -- you make a good point. But it feels like the only way to find out what the rules are is to just...throw shit at the wall. Not -- not literal shit. I mean. Metaphorically.

( Eddie knows a thing or two about rule-breaking to upset the natural order for things. Usually the rules are a little more straightforward, though. )

Yeah, 1986. ( He nods eagerly as Junpei describes Back To The Future. Well, at least if that movie exists in both their worlds, there's some kind of common ground. ) Yeah, and his mom keeps hitting on him. Great movie. Interesting theory of how time travel would work.

[coolerjunpei]

I think it's supposed to be "throw spaghetti," but don't quote me on that.

[Better than shit, anyway? Even for a metaphor. More importantly though: film.]

As our resident time travel guy, I can say with authority that that's how it does work. At least, for me. You know how his whole life changes after he messes with the past? But his memories are still of the first version of his life. You ever think about what happened to the other version of him? He's got to be back in the first version, right?

[This is what the filmmakers of "kid almost bangs his own mom: the movie" were thinking about, for sure.]

[thefreak]

Throw spaghetti? ( Eddie considers it for a moment before shrugging. Definitely better than thinking about shit. )

And what makes you our resident time travel guy, anyway? ( Eddie raises an eyebrow as if he's trying to size Junpei up. It's not very easy to do when they regard each other on tiny screens. ) Okay, I am not at all stoned enough for this conversation. You know you make a good point, because like. These are all just branches in the fabric of time, right? There's not just one true timeline with fixed points, so there's gotta be infinite possibilities. Aaaand now I've got a headache.

[coolerjunpei]

Uh, well—yeah, the other histories... Hold on.

[Hold on, wait, pause. He pinches the bridge of his nose for a second, then waves his hand like, Wait a Second.]

What did you think I was asking about time travel for if not to find the other time travel guys around here? Did this whole thing not scream "time travel guy personal ad" to you? Be honest.

[Is that why people are mostly just making fun of him for wiping out on the floor. (No.)]

[thefreak]

( Eddie opens his mouth like he's going to say something, but closes it, repeating this multiple times and ends up looking more or less like a fish in the process. )

Okay, yeah, you know what, that's my bad. But then again, I was held back my senior year. Twice. So.

( He mentions it so casually it might be easy to miss the way he still sounds bitter about that fact. )

[coolerjunpei]

[Junpei shrugs; it's not like Eddie is the only one who missed his context clues, anyway, so that much is probably on him... So it goes.

And, well-]

I dropped out of college, so, you know, whatever. Shit happens, right? If someobody actually checked my school stuff before deciding I should be a time travel guy, I bet they'd have skipped me.

[thefreak]

( Eddie's eyes widen as Junpei mentions dropping out of college. Sure Eddie didn't make it to college, but he feels a sense of solidarity at that. )

Then it's a damn shame I didn't get to actually time travel before ending up here.

[coolerjunpei]

I guess so... Well, you said you're from the 80s, right? It was New Year's 2029 before I got here. Sooo—

[A shrug! So,] Looking around at this place, I think we both time traveled on that train.

[thefreak]

Jesus H. Christ -- 2029?! ( Eddie's eyes go wide at that revelation. )

And yeah, 1986 to be exact. ( Eddie takes a moment to look around, eyeing some of the technological advances that hadn't been invented yet in the 80's. ) If this is what time travel is like, I'm not sure I like it. Though, I guess it could always be worse?

[coolerjunpei]

[He laughs--yeah, wild, isn't it!!]

Yeah, I'm from the future. [giving a little finger-wiggle as he says this, for emphasis,] Time travel could definitely be worse. This place sucks in a couple big ways, but hey— if we want to mind our own business, we pretty much can.

[thefreak]

For the sake of my sanity, I think I'm gonna pretend you're from the same timeline. At least theoretically, that'd mean we didn't have a total apocalypse on our hands in 1986.

( And theoretically, that means Eddie's death might have meant something. )

Yeah, I guess we can. I can't say I miss that whole end-of-the-world panic.

[coolerjunpei]

Yeah—right.

[Junpei, who before coming here spent a very harrowing 24 hours time traveling to subvert more than one apocalypse, very pointedly doesn't mention this fact. Yeah, nothing happened in a 1986, for sure.]

Apparently spending as much time as I do thinking about the theories of what's going on here is the wrong idea, according to a bunch of people... Since nothing's going crazy right this second, yeah, I see the appeal of just chilling out.

[thefreak]

They do say ignorance is bliss. But they also say something about being doomed to repeat history, so I don't know. I think it might be worth learning more about this place.

( It's not like Eddie has anything better to do, anyway. It would feel more productive than pacing around his apartment waiting for the next weird shit to hit the fan. )