un: junpei | video

[coolerjunpei]

[The video opens on Junpei in an office chair - in his Secret Club Meeting Room (read: generic office building conference room) although this is not a secret meeting. This is Junpei spinning slowly in an office chair while he holds the camera up, tilting as far back as he can without tipping the chair over. So it's going great.]

So, city-zens, [.....ahem,] I've got some miscellaneous questions for you.

First, time travel: real? Let me know. [......,] I mean, you know— Before you got here, that is. Like how experienced are you in the realm of quantum... quantum-y goodness? I just thought that maybe it would be real for somebody else by now, but I dunno... Let me know that one instead.

[Cough. Anyway.]

Second, are we all just, uh... hanging out now, I guess? Um, like— who's trying to clip through the weird fog and get out still? Anybody? I'm looking for group, or whatever you call it. We can do code names.

[Junpei is not a gamer.... don't believe this... he's just cringe and thinking about half-press-A-ing through the universe, to wit as he spins faster in his chair:]

Third, whoooo's all in for simulation theory? [as dryly as possible, womp...] Eh? Woooo yeah... simulation theory...!

[The video tilts as he lets go with one hand to hold up... a pinched-fingers hand puppet 🤌... it's still fine, he's doing great. He pitches his voice up higher for the puppet, because of course he does:]

But Junpei, how is this a simulation? Well duh, why else would this place be like a city that doesn't know what a city is supposed to be like? And all the weird loading fog? C'mon! Buuuut Juuuunpei, are we all full of tubes and stuck in goo pods like in that movie?— [Ah, ahem, cough. He puts his hand down.] Maybe.

Or uh, whatever else is in the theory pile. Half the people I was messing around with about theories went and disappeared, soooo... Well, I'm gonna get serious cabin fever if I can't figure something oUT—

[Local Man Tips The Chair Over and Totally Wipes Out, stay tuned for updates. The video ends when the phone drops face down onto the floor, bye.......]

Comments

[gripper]

( i don't think akane and kromer would get along that well but i would kill for them to interact actually )

What a great guy she's got! Does she know that?

[coolerjunpei]

[wow one of junpei's nightmare scenarios as of rn

that aside: ow, that's the thing he's sensitive about.]

You'd have to ask her... I mean, she did say yes to marrying me in the one history, so the outlook's good?

[gripper]

One history out of...?

( are the chances really looking That Good? )

[coolerjunpei]

Oh, come on. I haven't seen every history. Maybe in a thousand of them we even have kids now.

[stop bullying him about his quantum gf 😭]

[gripper]

( no, they're the same right now, she too has seen exactly one history where she's with the guy she's infatuated with-- )

Hahaha!!! Oh, yes, sure, sure. ( all she can get is that there aren't enough histories where they're happy together, if he only holds onto that one. ) You know, Junpei, I saw something like that once. A future where I stood next to the only boy who ever understood me, united, together. It's nice, isn't it? Thinking of that possibility.

[coolerjunpei]

I— uh, well...

[She's not wrong? There's undoubtedly a true golden history out there somewhere where everything is precisely how he'd like it to be, idealized. And the problem with it isn't even something trite like 'suffering is part of what makes us human blah blah,' no— It's that he's pretty sure his ideal history and Akane's aren't the same. That's a bummer.

But also, god, relating to Kromer. That's a slippery slope if he ever knew one. Yikes.]

Yeah. It's a nice thought. But we've got what we've got, right? So...

[gripper]

( love is the one universal constant all souls can relate to one another about. that's all.

"we've got what we've got," huh? ...hmmm. )

And just how did you catch her heart?

[coolerjunpei]

[sudoku.

....he doesn't want to explain all that,]

Not in the normal way, I guess... A guy's gotta have some secrets, though. You'll have to imagine it yourself.

[gripper]

( maybe he made her laugh really hard by pulling pizza out of an oven with his bare hands because he didn't put it on a tray first. that's both pathetic enough for him and feasibly the type of thing someone could find endearing ten seconds before they go "oh, fuck, this one?" at themselves and spend 90% of their lifetimes avoiding marriage. )

I feel like you never wanna talk about love with me... ( wow wonder WHY, KROMER, IT ISN'T LIKE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN A BITCH ABOUT IT HALF THE TIME— ) Well, whatever! I'll do just that.