text; un: aragaki

[petsthedog]

[It's been a long time since this username has been seen on the network. Shinjiro's rarely one for idle chitchat, but he does pay attention. He was at the diner the day that iteration debrief went around, and he's been quietly stewing in it since.]

so if all this shit is really a simulation, what's it supposed to mean when people disappear from here, anyway
if they could just delete us they wouldn't need to make us kill each other to end a round, would they

[Or maybe they're simply that twisted? He doesn't know. But Amada's gone, and until this latest development he would've thought that was for the best -- but now he's not so sure. It's been bothering him, despite himself.]

dunno if these are even our real bodies or if is this some matrix shit
or even if those documents were planted for us to find or any of it's true

Comments

[strongroots]

you got a reason why they would?
theyve been running this for over 50 years and ppl saw faces they knew in older iterations
why get rid of everyone each time when you can just re-use them. why send anyone back?

we could just be a copy of ourselves in a computer and there's nothing to send back. we're in a simulation
why not keep around the people they take out for later. they do it enough in this one

[petsthedog]

if you really think we aint even real what's the point tryin to get out
best we could do would be shutting it all down but that'd basically be the same as killing everyone

[strongroots]

i still have to go through all this. so do people i care about
i want to know why the hell i'm stuck here and what's actually going on because i want to

[petsthedog]

what'll you do when you know?

[strongroots]

why do you want to know

[petsthedog]

[That's a complicated question, both in terms of things he's willing to admit to himself and to say to a veritable stranger in public. To himself, he can admit it's about Aki -- he himself is at peace with however things end, but Aki? The guy would probably choose this facsimile of a life over nothing at all.

Aki, who'd wanted to spend a holiday with him before he'd been an asshole about it. He doesn't really regret that, specifically, but if this place is all anyone here has, rather than just him and a handful of others who have already kicked their bucket, well -- he'd approach some things differently, perhaps.]

some answers would change things, i guess

[strongroots]

[ Robby didn't have many expectations for the answer. He wasn't sure if the guy was just asking because he's got nothing better to do, or for some other reason. But why his own thoughts should matter, well, he doubts that they do. The guy is after something, and while Robby could simply answer... ]

like what?

[ He's got his own curiosity for a guy whose attitude can be condensed to 'why bother' ]

[petsthedog]

personal shit mostly

[Getting Shinjiro to talk openly about feelings is like trying to wring blood from a stone, unfortunately.]

if you don't wanna answer without mine, though, i get it

[strongroots]

[ So he just wants to use him for some personal means, apparently.

Alright. ]

i don't know what i would do because i don't know what i could do. there might be nothing i can do. but i would rather know what was really going on just like you did for your friend bc there's people i give a shit about
we're real to me even if it turns out we're stuck in a computer because everything feels real to me. and i don't know what's a best or worst case scenario because we don't know shit unless we find it

[petsthedog]

[...

Yeah, that doesn't really tell him much that wasn't already clear from this conversation. Which -- perhaps might have been intentional, considering Shinjiro's own stonewalling. That doesn't mean he's ready to go full cards on the table, especially when he himself isn't sure on some of his feelings about all this anymore, but he can show a little more of his hand.]

say we did find out that this is all there is for us, ever
would you stick around and live in it, despite everything?

[It's clearly what he thinks is the case, even though he doesn't know for sure, so....he's going to be leaning in some way about how he'd carry on if it was that bad. If he'd carry on.]

[strongroots]

what, if nothing changed about what's going on?

cw implications of suicide

[petsthedog]

if nothing changed you wouldn't exactly have much choice in it

[The train would just bring them back, like it did with Don. Then again, Don was murdered, consensually as it was. He supposes he doesn't know what'd happen if someone simply...ended things.]

[strongroots]

then what are you talking about? if i got a choice between this place or somewhere else not a simulation?

[petsthedog]

if you had a choice between bein alive in here and not being alive at all

[strongroots]

[ There's a moment before he responds, but: ]

i would choose being alive. if the experiments and tests stopped.

[petsthedog]

[But not if they didn't. It's a surprising answer on some level, but he respects it. He certainly has some things to think about, now.]

thanks for the answer

[. . .]

here's hoping it's a choice nobody actually has to make

[strongroots]

[ He doesn't say anything--he's said his feelings enough. And there's plenty about death and the topic of it that scares him, even with his answer.

And a 'sure' got them down this road in the first place, so. ]