text; un: aragaki

[petsthedog]

[It's been a long time since this username has been seen on the network. Shinjiro's rarely one for idle chitchat, but he does pay attention. He was at the diner the day that iteration debrief went around, and he's been quietly stewing in it since.]

so if all this shit is really a simulation, what's it supposed to mean when people disappear from here, anyway
if they could just delete us they wouldn't need to make us kill each other to end a round, would they

[Or maybe they're simply that twisted? He doesn't know. But Amada's gone, and until this latest development he would've thought that was for the best -- but now he's not so sure. It's been bothering him, despite himself.]

dunno if these are even our real bodies or if is this some matrix shit
or even if those documents were planted for us to find or any of it's true

Comments

[petsthedog]

personal shit mostly

[Getting Shinjiro to talk openly about feelings is like trying to wring blood from a stone, unfortunately.]

if you don't wanna answer without mine, though, i get it

[strongroots]

[ So he just wants to use him for some personal means, apparently.

Alright. ]

i don't know what i would do because i don't know what i could do. there might be nothing i can do. but i would rather know what was really going on just like you did for your friend bc there's people i give a shit about
we're real to me even if it turns out we're stuck in a computer because everything feels real to me. and i don't know what's a best or worst case scenario because we don't know shit unless we find it

[petsthedog]

[...

Yeah, that doesn't really tell him much that wasn't already clear from this conversation. Which -- perhaps might have been intentional, considering Shinjiro's own stonewalling. That doesn't mean he's ready to go full cards on the table, especially when he himself isn't sure on some of his feelings about all this anymore, but he can show a little more of his hand.]

say we did find out that this is all there is for us, ever
would you stick around and live in it, despite everything?

[It's clearly what he thinks is the case, even though he doesn't know for sure, so....he's going to be leaning in some way about how he'd carry on if it was that bad. If he'd carry on.]

[strongroots]

what, if nothing changed about what's going on?

cw implications of suicide

[petsthedog]

if nothing changed you wouldn't exactly have much choice in it

[The train would just bring them back, like it did with Don. Then again, Don was murdered, consensually as it was. He supposes he doesn't know what'd happen if someone simply...ended things.]

[strongroots]

then what are you talking about? if i got a choice between this place or somewhere else not a simulation?

[petsthedog]

if you had a choice between bein alive in here and not being alive at all

[strongroots]

[ There's a moment before he responds, but: ]

i would choose being alive. if the experiments and tests stopped.

[petsthedog]

[But not if they didn't. It's a surprising answer on some level, but he respects it. He certainly has some things to think about, now.]

thanks for the answer

[. . .]

here's hoping it's a choice nobody actually has to make

[strongroots]

[ He doesn't say anything--he's said his feelings enough. And there's plenty about death and the topic of it that scares him, even with his answer.

And a 'sure' got them down this road in the first place, so. ]