[Well, at least the only burnt taste their toast will get is from the pan and not cigarette smoke... little victories. Junpei hmms and picks himself up from his slouch, sidling around to grab the spam can and a knife. Time to schlorp this bad boy onto a paper plate, as god intended...]

Hey, you're the kitchen boss. [He is merely a mooch, which is fine. Schhhlorp... damn, nothing about spam is appetizing pre-cooked, huh.

Well, to cutting. Some of these pieces are going to be wildly different sizes because he wasn't sure how thick to cut them before settling on a mid-range put-on-toast thickness, so. Apologies to those funny pieces, sincerely.]

Uh—dunno. Does anything count? Like, what if I said it was chewing gum? Is gum technically a food? [it's not fucking gum] Never mind. Maybe garlic bread?