[ Which is worse, Nikolai wonders - growing up always knowing there is something she can never have, or it coming as a surprise later on? Neither option is great. ]
This friend of yours... is she someone you would want to be kissing, if that were possible?
[ One can never assume, after all. Noah's voice is warm when he speaks about her, but that had been the case when he mentioned his workaholic friend, too. Probably he is just a warm person whose fondness shines out like that, without him even realizing it.
Nikolai is confident when it comes to his ability to read people and get a good sense of their character. Noah has been nothing but sweet, and shy, and a bit uncertain this entire time. So when, inevitably, Noah asks about his scars, Nikolai doesn't feel even a flicker of annoyance. ]
Of course you're not, Noah.
[ Nikolai has a philosophy, when it comes to his own weakness. He's always believed it is best to show vulnerability when others need to see it, not when he is actually feeling it. It's just another tool he can use to be a strong and effective leader.
So the right move, the wise move, would be to play this off as nothing all that serious. Act like the gloves are to protect his vanity alone. But the problem is, he can't seem to force his body to comply. His fake laugh gets lodged in his throat, so that the silence stretches on too long to pretend it's no big deal.
And what will he even say? Certainly, he isn't going to tell Noah the truth - that the marks are a reminder of the time he was transformed into a mindless, ravenous, murderous monster by a man who considered it the cruelest way he could torture Nikolai. Noah had been creeped out by a few empty apartments! If he ever finds out about what the Darkling did to Nikolai, he'll probably be terrified of him.
But he's not so sure that the usual lie will do, either. Noah's world sounds so different to Nikolai's. When Nikolai was Noah's age he was fighting Fjerdans on the battlefield; Noah talks about school, and parties, and animation.
He keeps his eyes on the pesky nail as he painstakingly wiggles it free. ]
I'd rather not go into the specifics, but not because we haven't known each other long or because I think you'd be rude or anything like that. It's just... not a very nice story.
[ All of which is him stalling. Nikolai pries the little nail out, sitting back and looking at it pinched between his scarred fingers. The truth is, the gloves aren't just for others. He doesn't much like looking at his hands, either.
Nikolai finally meets Noah's gaze and forces a small smile that doesn't reach his hazel eyes. He settles on something that is not a lie at all. It is just the truth told in its barest, simplest form. ]
Someone hurt me.
[ He drops the small nail near the other screws and brackets he's removed and reaches for his discarded glove. ]
no subject
[ Which is worse, Nikolai wonders - growing up always knowing there is something she can never have, or it coming as a surprise later on? Neither option is great. ]
This friend of yours... is she someone you would want to be kissing, if that were possible?
[ One can never assume, after all. Noah's voice is warm when he speaks about her, but that had been the case when he mentioned his workaholic friend, too. Probably he is just a warm person whose fondness shines out like that, without him even realizing it.
Nikolai is confident when it comes to his ability to read people and get a good sense of their character. Noah has been nothing but sweet, and shy, and a bit uncertain this entire time. So when, inevitably, Noah asks about his scars, Nikolai doesn't feel even a flicker of annoyance. ]
Of course you're not, Noah.
[ Nikolai has a philosophy, when it comes to his own weakness. He's always believed it is best to show vulnerability when others need to see it, not when he is actually feeling it. It's just another tool he can use to be a strong and effective leader.
So the right move, the wise move, would be to play this off as nothing all that serious. Act like the gloves are to protect his vanity alone. But the problem is, he can't seem to force his body to comply. His fake laugh gets lodged in his throat, so that the silence stretches on too long to pretend it's no big deal.
And what will he even say? Certainly, he isn't going to tell Noah the truth - that the marks are a reminder of the time he was transformed into a mindless, ravenous, murderous monster by a man who considered it the cruelest way he could torture Nikolai. Noah had been creeped out by a few empty apartments! If he ever finds out about what the Darkling did to Nikolai, he'll probably be terrified of him.
But he's not so sure that the usual lie will do, either. Noah's world sounds so different to Nikolai's. When Nikolai was Noah's age he was fighting Fjerdans on the battlefield; Noah talks about school, and parties, and animation.
He keeps his eyes on the pesky nail as he painstakingly wiggles it free. ]
I'd rather not go into the specifics, but not because we haven't known each other long or because I think you'd be rude or anything like that. It's just... not a very nice story.
[ All of which is him stalling. Nikolai pries the little nail out, sitting back and looking at it pinched between his scarred fingers. The truth is, the gloves aren't just for others. He doesn't much like looking at his hands, either.
Nikolai finally meets Noah's gaze and forces a small smile that doesn't reach his hazel eyes. He settles on something that is not a lie at all. It is just the truth told in its barest, simplest form. ]
Someone hurt me.
[ He drops the small nail near the other screws and brackets he's removed and reaches for his discarded glove. ]