Video | un: czerny

[foreversmudgy]

[When the video started, the camera was facing the wrong way.]

Oh! Oops.

[Noah was quick to realize it, at least, poking the screen until the camera changed to display his face. He was alive again but he was still pale, like he hadn't spent a day in the sun. Actually, he probably hadn't since arriving and finding himself in a living body. At least, not long enough to develop any sort of tan.]

Hey! Um.

[It was a little late to realize he wasn't entirely sure he knew what he wanted to say. He knew, but he didn't know. There was an important difference.]

Okay, so like- I think I'm starting to get the hang of things around here. The whole 'we take what we need and we don't have to pay for it' thing.

[It still felt a little like shoplifting...]

But- so, the apartment I picked doesn't have a bed. Is it a faux pas or whatever to just...take a bed from one of the others that no one's using? All the ones I looked at with a bed felt creepy...

[Don't ask him where he'd been sleeping. Actually, don't ask him if he'd been sleeping at all.]

I'd need some help, too, if kidnapping a bed isn't like- dishonor on your family, you know?

Also, this is probably a long shot, but does this place have a gelato parlor?

Comments

[foreversmudgy]

Mmmm.

[Was it okay to talk about Blue's curse? She wasn't here to tell him whether or not it was okay to share, after all, and he didn't like spilling other people's business...but he didn't think it exactly counted as a secret, so...]

My friend- she's always been told that if she were to kiss her true love, he would die. Soooo...cursed. But it's not very specific beyond that, you know?

[He shrugged.]

Oh- um-

[The idea of going to a party was both interesting and terrifying. What was he supposed to do with himself around so many people? He didn't even know how to dance!]

Maybe, yeah. I guess it wouldn't be like, bad or anything.

[korol_rezni_nikolai]

[ Nikolai actually stops disassembling the bed, looking over at Noah and blinking in surprise. His friend's curse doesn't sound at all like what Nikolai had been expecting.

(And some part of him registers, with a surprising amount of relief, that Noah still counts this cursed girl as one of his friends, in spite of the fact that she's cursed. That's reassuring.) ]

That's surprisingly devious. How is she even supposed to know who her true love is?

[ Zoya is always teasing Nikolai for his romantic streak, but even he doesn't believe in love at first sight. And as for something as nebulous as a 'true love', well, how the hell is anyone supposed to really know if they've found that person? ]

If she can't be sure, that makes the prospect of kissing anyone at all rather dangerous, doesn't it?

[ He goes back to loosening the screws, managing to get one of the legs of the bed free and setting it aside so he can move on to another. Noah's tepid response to his offer brings a wry smile to Nikolai's lips. ]

Not exactly the most enthusiastic response I've ever heard.

[foreversmudgy]

I know, right? And it's so vague, like, what's going to happen to her true love, exactly, when she kisses him? It might not even be her fault, at all!

[He'd also tried, once, to convince Blue it might just be a coincidence, like, she kissed her true love and something totally random happened to the guy- but she hadn't been enthused.]

But yeah, she just...she doesn't kiss anybody.

[And he knew it had caused problems between Blue and Adam, but he also knew that she'd just been being cautious- among other things.]

Oh! I just...I'm not sure what I'd do around so many people. I don't even know how to dance and I'm pretty sure that's a big part of parties.

[If it was just being socially awkward and drinking, though, well...he could handle drinking, at least.]

[korol_rezni_nikolai]

[ Nikolai considers it. It hadn't occurred to him at first, how the open-ended nature of the curse could make it even worse. With specificity, there is at least certainty. But something as broad as that would leave so much doubt. ]

Of course there are worse fates, but all the same... I can see how it would be distressing. Who would lay that kind of curse on a young woman? Was it a rival of hers?

[ He is making an assumption without even realizing it: that a curse must come from a particular malicious source. His own curse (if his affliction even counts as curse according to Noah's parameters) had been targeted and highly personal. ]

Some parties, yes, but certainly not all of them. Plenty are more about conversation, or games, or enjoying a meal together. Depends on the occasion.

[ Nikolai can't understand Noah's hesitation, but he recognizes that his upbringing was a fairly unusual one. Large, formal social events had been an unavoidable part of his life since the day he was born. He'd learned to dance as soon as he was able to walk.

He is making good progress on the bed frame as they speak. Nikolai has unscrewed all but one join and is neatly setting aside all the components. When he comes to the last one, however, he encounters a bit of an issue. One tiny nail is stuck. It's too small for any of his tools. Nikolai can tell that it just needs one good tug and he'll have it out. He tries half a dozen times, but he can't get a grip on it with his gloved fingers. The fabric is too thick and too smooth, and he manages to get it even more badly stuck fumbling at it through them.

Exhaling a short sigh of annoyance, Nikolai makes a snap decision. He could, of course, have asked Noah to try to get it free. That would probably be the wise thing to do. But Nikolai's irritated, now. He's annoyed at the nail for being stuck and annoyed at the gloves for getting in the way and annoyed at the fact that he's wearing them in the first place. With a tiny, telling glance at Noah first, he tugs the glove from his right hand, dropping it to the floor. The skin of his hand is covered in strange markings. His fingertips and nails are pitch black; black-stained scars wind up his fingers and along his palm and the back of his hand. It is especially clear when Nikolai moves his hand, to get that troublesome nail, that they are scars rather than tattoos of some sort.

Nikolai keeps his eyes on the nail, though some part of his mind can't help listening carefully. For what? A gasp of disgust? He pushes the thought away, focusing on wiggling the tiny nail free. ]

[foreversmudgy]

[Noah made a thoughtful noise while he considered that.]

I think she was born with it. Apparently, she's known like, all her life.

[And he felt like that sort of thing would give someone a complex, or something. He wasn't sure that was the proper word for it. He knew it was distressing and frustrating not knowing if anyone was safe to kiss--because she'd told him as much. And really, he couldn't blame her. He'd probably have made kissing off-limits too, if he'd been in her position.]

Mmm, that's a good point, actually. Most of the parties I've been have been loud music and drinking and dancing. It's easy to forget there are other kinds of parties, too.

[He watched quietly for a moment, and he could tell Nikolai was getting frustrated with the little nail. Noah almost offered to help--almost because, before he got a chance to even open his mouth, Nikolai was taking one of his gloves off. And Noah--his brow furrowed. He didn't so much stare as he did study the marks. He'd never seen anything like that before, but it was absolutely easy to realize why Nikolai wore gloves in the first place. Was he self-conscious or was he expecting other people to be cruel?

His voice was quiet when he spoke.]

What happened? I mean- you don't have to tell me, I know we've only known each other like- I dunno, not long. But I promise I'm not- I'm not a dick.

[And he would respect it if Nikolai told him to drop it.]

[korol_rezni_nikolai]

Born cursed? So unlucky.

[ Which is worse, Nikolai wonders - growing up always knowing there is something she can never have, or it coming as a surprise later on? Neither option is great. ]

This friend of yours... is she someone you would want to be kissing, if that were possible?

[ One can never assume, after all. Noah's voice is warm when he speaks about her, but that had been the case when he mentioned his workaholic friend, too. Probably he is just a warm person whose fondness shines out like that, without him even realizing it.

Nikolai is confident when it comes to his ability to read people and get a good sense of their character. Noah has been nothing but sweet, and shy, and a bit uncertain this entire time. So when, inevitably, Noah asks about his scars, Nikolai doesn't feel even a flicker of annoyance. ]

Of course you're not, Noah.

[ Nikolai has a philosophy, when it comes to his own weakness. He's always believed it is best to show vulnerability when others need to see it, not when he is actually feeling it. It's just another tool he can use to be a strong and effective leader.

So the right move, the wise move, would be to play this off as nothing all that serious. Act like the gloves are to protect his vanity alone. But the problem is, he can't seem to force his body to comply. His fake laugh gets lodged in his throat, so that the silence stretches on too long to pretend it's no big deal.

And what will he even say? Certainly, he isn't going to tell Noah the truth - that the marks are a reminder of the time he was transformed into a mindless, ravenous, murderous monster by a man who considered it the cruelest way he could torture Nikolai. Noah had been creeped out by a few empty apartments! If he ever finds out about what the Darkling did to Nikolai, he'll probably be terrified of him.

But he's not so sure that the usual lie will do, either. Noah's world sounds so different to Nikolai's. When Nikolai was Noah's age he was fighting Fjerdans on the battlefield; Noah talks about school, and parties, and animation.

He keeps his eyes on the pesky nail as he painstakingly wiggles it free. ]

I'd rather not go into the specifics, but not because we haven't known each other long or because I think you'd be rude or anything like that. It's just... not a very nice story.

[ All of which is him stalling. Nikolai pries the little nail out, sitting back and looking at it pinched between his scarred fingers. The truth is, the gloves aren't just for others. He doesn't much like looking at his hands, either.

Nikolai finally meets Noah's gaze and forces a small smile that doesn't reach his hazel eyes. He settles on something that is not a lie at all. It is just the truth told in its barest, simplest form. ]

Someone hurt me.

[ He drops the small nail near the other screws and brackets he's removed and reaches for his discarded glove. ]

[foreversmudgy]

[Noah blushed, faint but there. How did he begin to explain things? If he said he had, actually, kissed Blue, he would likely have to also talk about how he'd been a ghost and so had been in no danger of keeling over. He knew he hadn't been her true love, anyway, despite being pretty sure he'd been Blue's first kiss.]

I...would, yeah. I would have asked her out, if I could have.

[And she would have said yes; she'd told him as much.

Honestly, he was probably at least a little attracted to all of his friends, and though Blue had been a recent addition to the friend group, he felt like they'd hit it off right from the start.

After that, though, he waited. Quiet, patient. He had absolutely no desire to rush Nikolai into an answer, especially since Noah was pretty sure, even before it was confirmed, that the scars weren't from something nice. Though, were scars ever from something nice?

Noah smiled sadly when Nikolai looked at him. He didn't blame him whatsoever for not wanting to talk about it.]

I'm sorry. Someone hurt me once, too.

[He couldn't help but reach up and touch his own cheek, fingers pressing against the spot where the damage had been obvious when he'd been unable to keep his living appearance, as a ghost. He didn't have to worry about that here, but that didn't mean the trauma had gone anywhere. It was still etched into every single fiber of his being.]

No one deserves to experience something like that.

[korol_rezni_nikolai]

[ Nikolai can hear, he thinks, a note of melancholy in Noah's voice. Interesting, that he says he couldn't have asked her out. That makes it sound as if there had been some tangible impediment. Nikolai doesn't press for details; there are dozens of different reasons why such a thing would have been impossible. He can see the touch of pink in Noah's cheeks and really, when it's all said and done, he doesn't want to make Noah uncomfortable.

He isn't sure what response he was expecting to his extremely brief explanation about the scars. Maybe for Noah to try to coax more information from him - that had happened plenty of times, with people both well-meaning and just plain nosy. Or maybe for Noah to go all fawning and sympathetic, in that cloying way that always made Nikolai's skin crawl. Or maybe he'd expected for Noah to tell him to pull himself together, that he couldn't afford to linger on the past.

But instead, Noah is just... quiet, with that little sad smile on his face. Like he actually gets it. Nikolai swallows, hating how much even that small offer of understanding makes his chest ache. He wants to say something back, but his throat is suddenly tight. He can tell that if he speaks now, his voice will crack or something embarrassing like that.

So he just nods, pulling his glove back on and tugging it into place, flexing his hand so that the fabric sits snugly against his skin. When he's tamped down that swell of emotion enough, he says: ]

Thank you. I'm sorry that you-

[ Nikolai makes a small gesture with his hand between the two of them. He isn't going to ask what had happened to Noah, as much as he might wonder. Not today, anyway. ]

That we have this in common.

[ He clears his throat, getting briskly to his feet and focusing all of his attention on the final steps to disassemble the bed. Or at least, pretending to. Nikolai is able to detach the final piece now that the nail is out, and he breaks down the last part of the frame quickly, setting aside the parts neatly.

Before he's even decided to say it, the words slip out. ]

If you ever want to talk to someone about it, I'll listen. Just keep it in mind.

[ Then he claps his hands together, forcibly closing the matter, and says: ]

Now, let's start carrying the pieces back to your apartment so we can put them together again, shall we?