Backdated to late Nov. 28 | text; un: Constantine

[keepgodwaiting]

[ Sometimes later in the day than Ethan's announcement, and shortly after getting yelled at for COMPLETELY REASONABLE ACTIONS, the network updates with: ]

I'm not dead just let me sleep it off

[ Then, grumpily, Constantine pulls the covers over her head and attempts to go back to sleep. ]

---

[ ooc: Reactions welcome, threadjacking fine, Johanna's DMs open! ]

Comments

[abit_ofboth]

Does being worried mean I don’t think you know what you’re doing? [It’s an honest question. He’s not really considered that before but he can see her point.]

I truly did not mean to infer that you do not know your own craft, but knowing what you’re doing does not mean you cannot get hurt.

[keepgodwaiting]

We're having words because I went [ air quotes ] "running headlong into a dangerous situation with no plan and no back up," apparently.

[abit_ofboth]

[Loki looks thoughtful for a moment.] I can see no fault in that phrasing. Is that not what you did? I am not saying you should not have done all you could to help, nor that you aren’t fully capable of helping, but you did run into a dangerous situation with no plan and no back up.

[keepgodwaiting]

[ She scoffs. ]

I didn't have a plan. News to me. I have a distinct memory of coming up with plans.

[ This is technically true, insofar as while she was jogging through the streets listening for snarling or howling, she was coming up with several ideas for what to do. Distract the wolf, like she'd done at the outset, and lead it somewhere else. Weaken it, so it'd do less damage. Send it to sleep. Try to reach Chandler, wherever he was behind those yellow eyes.

None of them were particularly good plans, and they all went out the window when she finally found the wolf, but she's sticking to her guns on the technicalities here. Her pride is too brittle to do otherwise. ]

Should I have run them by Hob for approval while he was bleeding all over the floor?

No backup, fine. [ She blows out a breath and slumps back. ] Yes. Fine.

[abit_ofboth]

Oh? Then please, tell me your plan. You know, I used to plan battles for my brother and his friends. I’m quite good at it myself and do love to hear of others. [Yes, he sounds a little snippy because no, he does not believe her. Good plans never come at the drop of a hat while you’re running through the streets after your prey. Loki knows all about making plans on the fly and having them fail.

He stiffens at the mention of Hob’s injuries. He knows she didn’t actually let him bleed out all over the floor, but that doesn’t stop the image from coming to his mind. When he speaks, his voice is hard as he clearly tries to retain his emotions. Something he has never been good at.] I do hope you don’t mean to say that in addition to running off into a dangerous situation with no plan, that you also did it while Robert lay bleeding out?

[He raises an eyebrow looking at her through the camera, his back stiff and his face as blank as he can make it, though there is a swirl of emotion in his blue eyes. Some anger, some annoyance and a whole lot of fear. If she’d meant to hurt him with that image, she was successful.]

[keepgodwaiting]

--What? No, Jesus, Loki, I got Morpheus to help him. I didn't leave until I knew he had help.

[ It's only now, as she sees Loki's sudden stiff posture, that it occurs to her that she maybe should have called Loki at that point, too. It simply hadn't occurred to her in the panic of the moment -- and if it had, she probably would have judged that she wants to deal with Morpheus' displeasure less than she does Loki's.

Would've been easy to think that at the time. Less easy to think of it now, facing down Loki's anger, even through a screen. ]

[abit_ofboth]

[Loki runs a hand over his tired eyes, unable to look at her for a moment.]

I know you would not really do that. As much as you pretend not to, I know you care about Robert.

[It’s not something he’s spoken of to anyone, but Loki is a little hurt that no one let him know until after everything was over. He does not blame Hob, of course, he was hardly in a state to do much of anything as he understands it. And why would Dream call him? He’s pretty sure he doesn’t like Loki at all. But Johanna? He thought they were friends. He’s not about to admit to any of that right now though, or maybe ever.]

I think maybe this call was a mistake. All I wished to say is that if you ever need help in such a situation, I would not mind if you took 30 seconds to message me. That is all.

[keepgodwaiting]

[ I think maybe this call was a mistake.

Funny old world. You manage to avoid getting gutted by the snarling beast in the street, just to get ripped open by eight quiet little words a day later. ]

Loki--

I'm -- sorry.

[ Sorry she didn't call him then, sorry she disappointed him. Sorry she's like this. She doesn't know how else to be. Except that's not true, is it? She knows how a good person would act, but never until it's too late. ]

I'll -- I'll keep it in mind. Thank you. For the offer. And for checking in on me.

[abit_ofboth]

[The apology surprises him and he doesn’t bother to hide that. He feels too tired to hide much of anything right now. He doesn’t know what to say. Has anyone ever actually apologized to him before?]

I… it’s… It’s okay. I am glad you are okay. I will not bother you further, but if you need anything, please let me know.

[keepgodwaiting]

[ Constantine certainly isn't in the habit of apologizing. It doesn't make her feel much better. It feels like lancing a boil: messy, sharply painful. Leaves behind a raw ache. Feels like maybe it would've gone away on its own if she just waited.

Last time she waited too long, though, and her friend disappeared without any resolution.

And the time before that was Rachel. ]

Sure, yeah. [ Quietly, looking down. ] I will. Take care of yourself.

[ And she hangs up, and looks at the stuffed mouse sitting on the armchair across from her, and decides to go back to bed. ]