text; un: raverobber

[badfeyth]

What was it that you thought you knew?
"Not much," misfortune seemed to bray,
When all came crashing down on you.

You used to shine in every hue;
Your confidence kept fear at bay.
What was it that you thought you knew?

For like a weed, ambition grew;
Temptation drove your steps astray,
When all came crashing down on you.

Could I have hindered what ensued?
Could this have gone another way?
What was it that you thought you knew?

What matter now? At your debut,
On best intentions, panic preyed.
It all came crashing down on you.

And now upon a time or two,
My own reflection seems to say,
"What was it that you thought you knew
When all came crashing down on you?"

It's been a while since I wrote one of these. They say it's a poetry form that's often used for showcasing a level of obsession; from a technical standpoint, it's also a fairly difficult type to write in because of the rigidity of its form. You pretty much have to pick the refrains first and then work out the rest of it around them.

Anyway, it's probably some level of hubris to put something like this out where anyone and everyone can see it, but call it a way of holding myself accountable to something. If it's out there, I can't set it alight and pretend it never existed. For better or for worse, there it is.

I should probably do more of that than I do, putting things out there and damning the hangups. But any bridge built has to start with a single post, right? Or something like that — don't look at me, I'm not an architect.

Comments

[badfeyth]

Hobby is an interesting word. I guess it's probably as close as it gets, though? I liked to play with words, and in a way, that's all that poetry is.

Why, what was yours?

[justscribing]

What would you call it if not a hobby?

I can't think of any hobbies I've abandoned over the years. Though this place makes it difficult to learn any other language or script.

[badfeyth]

I'd generally associate a hobby with things not related to one's career. But calling it an exercise would be a stretch (pun intended) so hobby probably counts.

I admit I'm a little curious about the line of inquiry we're following. I didn't take you as one for small talk, yet you're indulging in it when I'm sure there are a lot of other burning questions you're probably dying to be asking instead.

[justscribing]

I'm not interested in small talk, but I am interested in language. I've read both your books, so I was curious if poetry was another form of writing you look to master or if this is a casual indulgence. The semantics of poetry and of rules definition are very different, aren't they?

[badfeyth]

Hahaha. I'll bet a poet would be the first to tell you there's no such thing as "mastering" poetry.

But no, I think the skillsets are fairly complementary, actually. Word choice and connotation are paramount in both, and they're both vehicles for conveying the author's intentions. Poems are just more reflective, I suppose, whereas rules are imperative.

[justscribing]

If you'll expand their concepts that broadly doesn't that apply to every form of writing? Language is the primary method to be understood.

I was thinking that when it comes to drafting regulations the technical definition of the words is important. Rules establish our boundaries in society and, in theory, their purpose is for everyone. The existence of ambiguity or double-meaning is an exploitable gap in their control.

However, poetry has no such purpose to society. You could even say it only has purpose to the author, and anything the audience gets out of it is incidental. Rather than choosing words based on clarity, you choose them based on their phonemes or what they evoke emotionally.

[badfeyth]

And yet ambiguity and multiple meanings ARE pertinent to both forms, aren't they? Where rules seek to prevent ambiguity, poetry's usually the one exploiting it.

Case in point — who is the "you" my villanelle is referencing?

[justscribing]

Which doesn't guarantee a vested interest in both, except in your case.

The "you" changes partway through the poem, doesn't it?

[badfeyth]

In the last stanza, yes. I also broke exactly one rule of the form, intentionally, to hook attention on a line I particularly wanted the reader to linger over.

Anyway, my point stands. I think the same principles that make an airtight rule are applicable to poetry, albeit exercised in a different manner.

[justscribing]

The refrain on the fifth stanza, right? It's changed just enough to be noticeable, and that causes your reader to have to stop and consider that it didn't match even if they aren't familiar with a villanelle.

I'll concede your point, but then it brings me back to the hobby. Did you start writing poetry because of your career, or are they both branches of writing that you were drawn to separately from the same interest in wordplay? And if it evolves beyond an exercise into sharpening your skills into a regular activity of its own, is it really still related to your career?

[badfeyth]

More to the point, does it really matter? I'm not really following your investment in whether an activity I do is defined as a hobby or not.

[justscribing]

Are you asking because you aren't sure why someone would be interested in your hobbies, why someone would be interested in the vocabulary you use when talking about yourself, or why I specifically am interested?

[badfeyth]

Yes.

:)

[justscribing]

No need to second guess my intentions. I don't waste my time with conversation I don't care about. Your poem and explanation simply involve topics that are of interest to me. I did tell you I studied linguistics.

Do you never think about the choice of words you use for yourself?

[badfeyth]

It doesn't really help your case much when you admit outright that your interrogation is wholly self-serving.

I think constantly about word choice and the respective connotations that come with it. You might even say it's something I was trained into. So perhaps when I hesitate to call something a hobby it's because I can tell that the term feels imprecise even if I haven't thoroughly assessed the specifics of why that is. You may have noticed I have certain hangups about imprecision when it comes to things that matter.

[justscribing]

I don't believe I've suggested that I came into this conversation expecting to gain nothing. But your approach to people isn't wholly altruistic either, is it? There's something you get or expect to get out of talking to me right now, as you have no reason to otherwise.

[badfeyth]

...

No? Is that really how you think a conversation works?

[justscribing]

We can use our current conversation as a specific example. What is it that drives you to talk to me right now?

[badfeyth]

The fact that you initiated a discussion? That's generally how a conversation works, is one person expresses a sentiment and the other responds to it, usually adding some sentiment of their own that furthers the topic. I wasn't under the impression that was something that needed clarification.

[justscribing]

So if any person initiates a conversation you'll continue to respond even if it were a conversation you found unpleasant or unenjoyable? A topic you have nothing to contribute to?

[badfeyth]

...Yes?

Doing unpleasant or unenjoyable things despite them being unpleasant or unenjoyable is on occasion part of the human experience, yes.

[justscribing]

Yes, but most people don't sit through a conversation they don't like unless there's some reason to besides being polite. That's why people make excuses to disengage.

[They aren't even talking in person? It would be the easiest excuse to just leave him on read if she wasn't enjoying the conversation.]

My point was that even enjoyment is something gained, but you'll allow someone to inflict upon you something that doesn't even pass that bar, simple because it's what they wanted?

[badfeyth]

I'm not generally in the habit of performing a cost-benefit analysis on my casual social interactions, no.

That may be a policy we differ on.

[justscribing]

I'm no in a habit of being a doormat for a low-stakes interaction, no.

If you had more respect for your own time, would you have ended this conversation by now?