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[kampfgeist]

[ the video comes first!

heine films from where he's sitting on top of a mailbox on a street corner. it's a slow pan across an empty intersection just northeast of the bank—the bank building itself is visible, as a landmark for where he is, but he also makes a point of filming as much down each street as he can manage. master film director heine is not, but at least he manages to pick out a few identifying storefronts so people can triangulate themselves!

there's no talking, or really any sound at all (which for heine is still one of the worst parts of this place). once he's filmed enough that he thinks the location has been conveyed, the video cuts off.

when he uploads it, it's with a text accompaniment: ]

let me get this out of the way first: i'm not trying to die
and i also don't want to kill anyone [ today, anyway! ]


but if you're also here without the weapons you're used to
don't want to get stuck with your thumb up your ass if shit goes wrong
and think you could use a good fight to keep your skills sharp

then hopefully you can figure out from the video where to go
if you can't then [ he is judging you slightly ] ask for directions



rules:
1) i have knives but if you want to use something else that's on you
2) no sparring bullshit, we fight like we mean it
3) i'll go easy if you need but don't ask me to teach you

Comments

text | un: NAILS

[nichocolatine]

[ literally WHY!! ]

do NOT fucking kill anyone or i swear you're sleeping in the tub

[kampfgeist]

can you read??
i SAID i'm not going to kill anyone
relax, nails

[ sleeping in the tub is honestly a good threat for a gangly manga dude ]

[nichocolatine]

don't tell me to relax you're the one saying you'll fight like you mean it and i'm supposed to think that doesn't have the possibility of ending in death also have you not been paying attention to what's going on lately read the fucking room rammsteiner

@wrenched

[wrenchedup]

sooooooooooooooooooooooo


is this like a dating ad or a fight club proposition cuz honestly it really could be either

[kampfgeist]

[ wrench my brother in christ ]

????????????
what part of this seemed like dating to you

[ but also, this is probably what dating heine feels like so he's not totally wrong ]

[wrenchedup]

uh

all of it????

and you'll even go easy on people ~♡(｡￫ˇ艸￩) [ he's doing the thing he does a lot which is being a weirdo. even though he does have an odd lusting after crazy people who may or may not want to kill him......................... but anyways. THEY'RE ALL FRIENDS NOW. That's how friendships start, right? ] that aside, very cinematic opening mr wes anderson

un: hidden | text

[matermali]

[ It sounds like a spar to her no matter how he plays it, but there's only one way to find out. ]

You mean to accept a challenge from any who volunteer?

[ Um okay. She wants to watch. ]

[kampfgeist]

[ heine differentiates between "sparring" (coordinated fighting! with rules!) versus "fighting" (chaos ensues) okay! although in retrospect maybe not everyone does. ]

sure
why not?

[ it's a good way to stay limber and also to assess the skills of the people they're here with!! ]

[matermali]

[ Maybe she ought to bring some bandages, just in case. Who it could end up being for, she can't predict. Going to watch would allow her to learn the capabilities of Heine as well as some others.

And she may just vanish from boredom if she doesn't find something to do other than scream at the witches' wards in tongues. Vanessa has never been one to enjoy watching fights, but entertainment is scarce around here, and she needs the distraction. ]

Some here claim to know magic, you realize.

text ↪ un: 十五

[zangetsu]

does karate count?

（ local shōnen hero has chosen lies and chaos today, apparently. ）

[kampfgeist]

[ very sorry about this ichigo, he's from shitty dystopian europe and lacks culture... ]

whats karate?
it's probably fine though

the more variety the better

audio; un: loveless

[limbical]

I suppose there isn't anything wrong with an honest brawl, so to speak.

I won't participate myself, but I may remain stationed nearby if someone would need to be patched up. You never know how eager people become.

[kampfgeist]

hey doc

hopefully it won't come to that
but if it does i'm sure they'll appreciate the services

[ heine is serious about trying not to kill anyone though!!! ]

@Alhaitham

[justscribing]

Will you be fighting with knives or is that just an offer to anyone who takes you up on it?

[kampfgeist]

i can fight with anything, in theory
but i'm limited by the surroundings
knives were the easiest thing to find two of

[ he stole them from the back of house of some restaurant he passed... ]

so yeah i'll be fighting with knives. or fists
long answer to a short question

text | un; banished

[guitarpicks]

are we doing our own gladiator games since there doesn’t seem to be much else to do? is that’s what’s happening here???? [ jfc people!!!!!!! jfc!!!!!

but like also maybe good logic. maybe. ]

[kampfgeist]

[ well..... ]

basically. except nobody dies
i think dying was a big part of the gladiator thing

[ he might be proposing street fights on the network but he draws the line somewhere okay ]

and like you said, what else is there to do

un: gepard

[def]

No weapons, just fists.

[ like he's ever needed a weapon in the first place ]

What happens when you receive several challenges?

[kampfgeist]

then i get to escape boredom several times
i'm pretty good at this

but for everyone involved it's probably better if we don't all fight at once

[ heine can keep himself from killing anybody in a 1-on-1, but involve a bunch of people and he can't be held responsible... ]

text; un: gebura

[bemist]

sure
why not
don't need any kind of coddling but i'm down a sword so if you're cool with a baseball bat
i'll take you up on that

[kampfgeist]

baseball bat works for me
you with your bat, me with a knife?

un: 46

[cranekin]

Have you killed before?

(THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT HE'S GETTING FROM THIS WHOLE POST--)

[kampfgeist]

[ okay FIRSTABLE...... MIND YA BUSINESS...... ]

that's your takeaway?
i was talking about how the last time someone came on the network and proposed a fight it was a fight to the death

[ operation dodge question: initiate ]

Text, UN: Loki

[abit_ofboth]

Knives you say? I might be interested in such things, especially if I can keep them once I beat you.

[kampfgeist]

[ okay confidence! we love to see it! ]

they're fillet knives?

[ he stole them from a restaurant kitchen... ]

you can have them
if you can beat me.