citynet | video | un: NAILS

[ good morning city-folk, how's your day? today's broadcast is brought to you by our sponsors Fuck This Place, in partnership with Fuck Heine Especially. the video begins after the phone's owner sets it on the ground, so the camera angle is a little strange, but he never claimed to be some marvel of photography here so you get what you get okay.

badou also plunks himself on the ground in what appears to be the sidewalk in front of some nondescript convenience store. the shelves of which he'd just raided if the plastic bag he sets down beside him is of any indication. within its contents one can find a bright pink energy drink, a generous helping of cigarette cartons, and what appears to be a family-size bag of off-brand twizzlers. #bachelorlife, amirite?

there's bruising on his neck that's only just begun to fade, and a splint around his left wrist that's already got various crude drawings on it, all courtesy of mr. artist himself. he works on fishing himself out and lighting up a brand new cigarette before even addressing the camera (made all the more difficult by that fractured wrist) so enjoy five minutes of nicotine addict ASMR. ]

Hey. 'Sup. How ya doing. Have y'all seen my dog? Lost him a bit ago, about yea high, real pale, red eyes, no eyebrows, answers to the name Heine or Fuckface.

[ for ease, he's provided a supplementary visual, which he holds up to the camera with all the flourish of a child's first finger-painting. BEHOLD his uncanny portrait! yes, his commissions are open. ]

[ he crumples the paper with perhaps a lot more ire for someone supposedly "missing" his ""dog"" but a deep drag of his cigarette quickly calms him back down. there's a beat-up lighter in his hand he can't seem to stop fiddling with. ]

Thought about putting some signs up and slappin' 'em on some milk cartons but who knows what the fuck whoever's-in-charge-here considers """vandalism""" and I ain't about to go around testin' it like some of you can't seem to stop yourselves from.

[ a-hem. ]

Speakin' of — that survey we were given here. How many of ya answered that honestly? Shit's startin' to get real personal, though I think I'd remember if I'd been asked about the worst fuckin' day of my life.

[ which begs the question he's sure everyone's already thought about by now: how the fuck do these people know them that well? ]

( EDITED: because someone (me) forgot to include injuries.... smh )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I've never been asked before getting kidnapped, if that's what you mean. What, do I have some kind of 'kidnap me!' pheromone? Ugh.

[Entirely possible. Anyway,] It's probably not about me this time. There are at least a hundred of us.