text; @The Seventh Crown of the Seventh Demon King;

[unrequite]

[ Four lines of text. ]

This is written in Victorian.
Kore wa Laterano-ji Higashi-go de kakareteimasu.
This is written in Higashinese.
This written by in Yanese. (Might be bad. Sorry.)

Please do let me know how many of these sentences you understand.

[ The first is in what would be considered Earth English, the second is what would be known as Japanese written in Romaji, but he's called it "Laterano-ji Higashinese". The third was written in Japanese, the fourth was written in some rather poor Chinese. He's called the languages themselves clearly incorrect names. What's more important, though, is that only the second one should parse as phonetic, and should only be understandable to fellow Japanese speakers. The rest are in whatever language is most understandable to whoever reads it. Funny, huh? This city sure is strange! ]

Comments

[fussiest]

[ why is it always calling kaveh out hours ]

The way mildew grows on you, perhaps, or a terrible-looking statue that you know is offensive to the senses, but which you've been forced to stare at for such a long time in close proximity that you can't help but grow fond out of sheer self-defense.

[unrequite]

And yet you've decided to inflict this sensational curse of a man upon me. Either I've committed some grave sin against you, or, in spite of your colorful list of this man's failings, you like him well enough to entrust someone you've just met to his tender mercies. If it's neither, you've some issues to work through, love.

[ Actually, he's of the opinion that it's probably a buffet of all three columns, but that's just the human condition at work. ]

[fussiest]

Midnight, friend, you have called me enough pet names that the local animal shelter must be wondering where their usual animals have gone. Have you considered the premise that the two great annoyances in this city and my life deserve each other? Given how you are an unstoppable force and he is an immovable one, I'm standing outside the blast radius with a clipboard to see how this will affect reality as we know it.

[ and then, because it's kaveh: ]

Have you had water in the last twenty-four hours? Be honest.

[unrequite]

Weighty titles for a man who's done nothing but tell you how cute you are. :(

[ He doesn't want condescension, he doesn't want compliments... Is there no pleasing Kaveh of Sumeru!? ]

I drink water when I exercise, and I exercise every day. Is that enough for you, my keeper?

[ And it's enough! Usually. He just... he forgets. Sometimes. Not all the time! ]

[fussiest]

Clearly not, if I've the blood-pressure for it. I'm just getting started, Midnight. By the time I've finished, I intend on you not even being able to look at a bottle of water without it jumping out and trying to drown you.
To respond to your earlier allegations: actually, I may have just met you a paltry few times, but in those times, I've seen more than I really ought to have.
What are you doing right now? What brought about this topic, and is it linked to language crimes?

goodness me how did i lose this motherfuckin tag

[unrequite]

Seen more than you should? I'm not sure what you mean by that, but I wouldn't mind if you caught an eyeful more of me than I realize you have. Even if you catch me figuring out and then committing a language crime. Looking is free. <3

it was buried under a marital spat... im so sorry face in hands

[fussiest]

Midnight.

more like i just straight up deleted it somehow... anyway, please, i love messy drama

[unrequite]

Yes, my love?

[ He is not purposefully avoiding the question. This is just more fun. ]

[fussiest]

You!
This isn't even language crimes at this point - you're just crime against language.
What manner of trouble are you trying to get into this time, and to which deity am I supposed to appeal to to talk you out of it? Be honest, or serious. One of the two. Even I recognise that it's a little much to ask you to be both those things at once, you might sprain something.

[unrequite]

I was just curious, darling. I like to learn. Do you believe me?

[ This is why no one takes you seriously, Midnight... ]

[fussiest]

Oddly enough, I do. Someone who's as sophist as you are is very likely to be well-educated, and nosy.
That, and the first time we met with our better selves, you were conducting a miniature experiment all on your own. Your curiosity tends to get you into trouble, doesn't it?
So yes, I do believe that you're curious and you like to learn. But I also don't believe that you don't have ulterior motives. Well? What do you have to say for yourself?

[unrequite]

[ That gets another laugh out of Midnight on his end. “Well-educated”. That‘s very good. ]

What do I say for myself? Let’s see, what linguistic mischief have I gotten up to, outside the quo...

Well, it wasn‘t deliberate on my part, nor do I have any machinations building upon it, but I suppose I’m acquainted with your friend now. Alhaitham, was it?

[fussiest]

... Fine, alright. I'll concede.
You've met Alhaitham. That does mean you've met trouble.

[ ... ]

We aren't friends, though.
And before you ask - it's complicated, and he would say the exact same thing.
So? Is your curiosity satisfied for the day?

[unrequite]

It's quite rare to find someone who asks my own questions for me. Very kind of you.

[ Teasing, of course, but also the truth. ]

I'm never quite sated, darling, but one must carry on in spite of such injustices.