» the city network

( There is exposition here. )

[ Kaveh is definitely taking the phone at this point, but later on, Midnight will retrieve it and add a postscript. He is sitting in some sort of underground greenhouse this time, surrounded by mist, glass, flowers, and the glow of sun-tinted halogen lights. Regardless of the promo quality, the greenhouse itself is certainly an impressive feat of engineering. ]

Yes, this is one of several themed rooms here at Seventh Hell. You — yes, you — are personally invited to see it. When? Well, whenever you like, so long as the doors are open, but on the 31st of this month... Ahem.

[ He clears his throat, grins. ]

For the turn of the year, you are cordially invited to Seventh Hell's Grand Opening and New Year's Eve joint celebration. Or something like that, I'll come up with a grander name if necessary. There will be drinks, music, a tour of the premises, games, untold bliss, fantasies, beautiful women, beautiful men, myself among them, possibly fireworks if Kaveh can be convinced that I won't set the place ablaze... You won't want to miss out, I promise.

The doors will open at 6 pm, but come by anytime before then, from now until the New Year, if you'd like to enjoy the premises in relative solitude. Send a message to this account if you'd like to be assured of a bartender, or a friendly face to speak to. If I can't come personally, a host or hostess will be there, ready to welcome you to a night of merriment and pleasant conversation.

So, until then... Seventh Hell awaits you.

[ A wink, and the feed shuts off. ]

[ ooc: Along with normal network replies, current host club employees and staff are welcome and encouraged to reply to this post as though Midnight's included them in an impromptu promotion for the club! You can also use this post for post-promo, off camera conversations with him or anyone else in the host club. Go stupid, go wild, go crazy, threadjack, steal his phone and flush it down a toilet. Honestly, the sky is the limit. ]

[ Four lines of text. ]

This is written in Victorian.
Kore wa Laterano-ji Higashi-go de kakareteimasu.
This is written in Higashinese.
This written by in Yanese. (Might be bad. Sorry.)

Please do let me know how many of these sentences you understand.

[ The first is in what would be considered Earth English, the second is what would be known as Japanese written in Romaji, but he's called it "Laterano-ji Higashinese". The third was written in Japanese, the fourth was written in some rather poor Chinese. He's called the languages themselves clearly incorrect names. What's more important, though, is that only the second one should parse as phonetic, and should only be understandable to fellow Japanese speakers. The rest are in whatever language is most understandable to whoever reads it. Funny, huh? This city sure is strange! ]

[Hey, City network! What are you up to today? Having fun exploring the liminal spaces, reliving past memories, getting locked into vaults — or maybe just fucking around? Because apparently someone's in the mood for the latter.]

what's a girl got to do to get a little attention around here? ;)

[A short time after that initial post, a follow-up appears.]

because i certainly wouldn't mind being asked out for a meal and an evening in good company, myself. by someone worthy of the honor, of course; naturally, i'm a lady of discerning tastes.

[And then, a little bit later still: ]

takers must feel the unquenchable thirst of the pursuit of knowledge and be willing to participate in intellectual debate for bells on end. oh, and graciously accept defeat when i inevitably hand it to them. or don't — i'll best you at it whether you accept it or not. i'm ever so brilliant that way. how's that for sharing?

[OOC: If the content of this post sounds suspiciously unlike Y'shtola, that's because it isn't — Thancred (onlythans) and his sticky fingers have "borrowed" her network device for a short time. Responses will come from both Thancred and Y'shtola or possibly just Y'shtola after she murders Thancred in cold blood for this!]

[Specifics tbd, but there's a drunk Midnight involved and he doesn't have a shirt and might've lost his pants. he's fucking naked.

But for now.]

a guy lost his clothes to the washer. anybody saw a pink shirt?

[Attached is a picture of Midnight. I have no fanart, so you must imagine this guy: no shirt, Jojo-posing, wearing a pink feathery thing, drunk, fly open.]

and here's the guy who lost his stuff

I'd like to keep this as efficient as possible, so I don't plan on talking your ear off.

Call me Daan. I'm a doctor. That should about cover all you need to know about me.

So, first question: is there already a clinic arranged by someone here? Have there been any injuries on top of there being a willing killer out there? Illnesses or whatever else. I can probably help you, even a little.

Second question: who has been here since the start of this whole mess of being trapped in a part of this city? Ideally, I'd like someone who can be informative, but I'm not overly picky.