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@junpei | text

[Now, Junpei is fairly certain they're all here for some kind of fucked up death game, because why wouldn't the third time be the charm!!— but until some mysterious costumed weirdo starts getting on all the screens and making announcements, there's not that much to go on. He can skulk around town glowering suspiciously at things for long so long.

Sooooo.]

if anybody wants my vote, it's t minus however the hell long before we all start killing each other. would love to be wrong, but if i live long enough to say i told you so, yknow. yippee.

so.

why do *you* think we're here? wrong answers only. top 3 by popular vote get a prize.

[Does he have a prize to hand out... No, no he does not. He will find some cheap garbage in one of the shops and write a 1ST/2ND/3RD PLACE on it, no problem. Eventually. Maybe even a sticker.]

and what do you guys think about picking code names? you know, just in case.

[big talk from username junpei]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[That's him, just some dude (tm). Anyway, this has real "go ahead and shoot me, I won't die" energy, oh boy.]

...Yeah. Well, good luck with that. I'll say something cool about justice for you if somebody gets you in a freak accident.

Then it is a promise! If justice doth burns in thy breast as it does mine own, however, wouldst thou consider becoming a Fixer as well?! I will teach thee, though thy status will be unofficial until the Hana Association doth approve.

[ they have like, a whole written exam for it or something. take a test get to be first in the meat grinders. ]

Wait, what? Like, join your hero club? I, uh... I don't think that's for me. I'd probably get my ass kicked on day one and have to quit.

[Just look at his t-shirt. He surely cannot hack it as a Justice Guy.]

Fret not! There are plenty of men both more frail and underdeveloped within our ranks, and they hath little issue with standing once struck down!

[ worry not pal you're fine. ]

But if thou hath worry still, then I suppose I shall look for some of K. Corp's HP modules... They seem to be quite handy, though me and mine hath no use for it thanks to our Manager Esquire.

[did she just call him frail and underdeveloped... this t-shirt hides the physique of a guy who mostly eats cup noodles, so yeah fair hit actually. still ouch.]

Uh, what? HP modules...? Like in a video game? —Look, it's a great offer, but maybe we can put a pin in that for now until we figure out what's really going on here. You might not even need me on your team.

[ she speakeths what she seeseth ]

It is not an offer made out of necessity, Ser Junpei, but out of companionship. [ friends... ] Whilst I know not what a "video game" is, we shall "pin" this conversation for another day -- there is truth in thy words, loathing as I am to admit defeat. What doth the others say?

[ about. their situation. ]

[local wet noodle junpei read for filth online]

Oh, huh. You just want to hang out with more people? Maybe without joining the club first thing, sure... [friends.......]

And no one knows what the hell is going on. Most people think I'm crazy for saying someone's going to start killing the rest of us, so uh, that's a good sign.

[ but friends with a similar, just cause are even better than friends without one... ]

It is not out of the realm of possibility, Ser Junpei! In fact, it hath happened thrice since mine employment truly began!

[ ... ]

[He's so sick of getting murdered, though...]

Yeah, I know. It could happen any minute now. I'm jumping every time I hear something that sounds like an intercom speaker turning on. There's no way whoever's in charge of this place isn't about to drop the other shoe and give the rules for murder.

[.....wait, he hears it now,]

Hold on, what are you talking about?

There are rules to murder that are not simply punishments for the wicked?

[ no time for that junpei answer the question ]

[homie, focus!!]

Uh— the last time this happened to me, the bastard in charge set up a way that only worked if a certain number of people died. What were you talking about?

[he will Keep Trying]

[ what an odd game. it doesn't sound particularly fun. ]

I have died more than thrice, but it is thrice we hath been drawn into situations to which we hath been struck down. It is simply part of our duty. Our Manager Esquire sees to our dead bodies, and thus we are revived.

Revived...? Like, in the same body?

[is that more or less traumatic than sidestepping into alt. histories. he'll think about this.]

No offense, but why would anyone want to join your club if you keep getting killed?

[ a nod!!! same body, different cause of death. ]

For justice, obviamente!

[ duh!!!!!! ]

It is a point of pride, of honor, to be a Fixer! To help those who cannot help themselves, to protect the weak as one of the strong! The City is dangerous, and those who take the test, who strive do good in the world, think little of what could happen in the midst! If one dies saving another, is that not something to be happy with?

[ something to take pride in... so on and so forth. ]

Ah, but mine companions and I are a special case -- most who die, they do not come back. Thou art truly dead once struck down.

[that sounds... shitty, actually! but he Somehow gets the sense that she won't even hear that, so.]

Yeah, most people die when they get killed, everyone knows that. Maybe I'm just not honorable enough, but dying that much would ruin the mood for me. Do you have any positions that are just for bringing the coffee, or anything...? Without getting sliced and diced in between performance reviews? I'm a real whiz at carrying those coffee cup takeout trays.

[and hm... okay, he does want to know about the Same Body Problem,] What the hell does your manager do that brings you back in the same body, anyway?

Um... Yes! There are plenty of lower grade jobs such as that, but thou would not be an ally of justice the way I am -- there is no dishonor in simply aiding one who does, however! I shall allow thee to keep thy honor in tact whilst keeping thee off the battlefield -- thou shalt be my aide.

[ perfect. ]

As for thy second query! Manager Esquire turns the clock back, as it is said! We are, um... We are connected to them, in some way -- our heartbeats are as one, thou couldst say? Mistress Faust knows far more than I, but she does not speak much on the matter herself.

Don't worry about my honor, I'll be fine. My feelings aren't going to be hurt because I'm a coffee grunt.

[give him ten minutes to realize this is not a bit and he's totally an aide now.

anyway: the fuck, that kind of time travel is way more convenient than quantum bs, damn...]

Anyway, that's... one way to build team spirit, I guess. You guys don't break any spacetime doing it that way? Nobody's arguing about causality or probability, or anything?

[ when she starts calling him Esquire is when it gets real. ]

None of those words hath come up in conversation.

[ frankly speaking they aren't in the bible, so to say, but also they would not ever be directed towards her. more above her head. ]

Thou do get used to it, after a time. Though I hath been told to take care, as we have yet to find our Manager Esquire and ensure their safety. If there be trouble, however, I shall be unable to stop myself from intruding.

[ ... it just is what it is. ]

[what is it like to hang out with a time travel gang that doesn't argue for 30 minutes about the moral implications of killing your alternate selves... he's almost jealous.]

Oh, your- uh, boss isn't here? How many of you are there, anyway? You mentioned a buddy system before.

[sort of. ish. he heard buddy system from compatriots. and she's totally just going to run into danger, huh...]

Should I go steal a first aid kit?

[ the answer might surprise and shock you, junpei. no friend's group is free from infighting. ]

Oh, Manager Esquire is not our boss! But the Red Gaze -- that is, Sir Vergilius, he appears to be absent as well. Though he does rarely step off the bus himself. There are twelve of us Sinners in total, and whilst we are companions there is no "buddy system"...?

[ should there be... it seems fun. pair up. just like their rooms, but with duos over trios. ]

If thou be a thief, then thy hands shall pay for thy crimes.

[ just so you know. ]

Yeah yeah, okay. I'll find a completely legal first aid kit. Don't get mauled or anything before I find a couple bucks.

[leaving a piece of paper with $$$ written on it on the convenience store counter, that is.]

My, uh, friends didn't get to pick, but we had teams the last time a surprise kidnapping happened. Somehow, it even worked out. Can't rec the buddy system enough.

[ he is shaping up to be such a good squire!!!!!!!!!!! so proud of junpei. don quixote's also back to beaming. ]

O-ho, I see! Then, I shall suggest it to mine companions -- Young Sinclair and I are already sharing a room, but I know of others who are without a buddy! I shall set them up.

[ it'll be fine, maybe. ]

Teams? Wert thee on the winner's side? What did thee win?

[oh good, he gets to keep his hands--]

Yeah, everyone's talking about the buddy system. It's the best around.

[as for the Other Thing, he makes a face and genuinely raises a hand to do a little jazz hand motion, but if a jazz hand motion also had depression. woo.]

We didn't die?

So the loser lost the game, as well as their lives?

[ sounds like something the city would come up with ]

How dastardly. However did thee come upon such a wicked game?

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