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@hythlodaeus | text

I've an odd question to ask, if you'll indulge me.

Let us say a world exists where all work toward the betterment of their world, where none go without, and no one need be separated from their loved ones before they could bid farewell. Each day is peaceful and productive, and you know your place within it. You need not leave until you are ready, and only when you feel fulfilled.

Would you choose to live in this world or the one you came from? Why?

And to those who know why I ask this question, I pray you answer as well, and do so honestly. I promise 'tis in the spirit of keeping an open mind.

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Almost! There are a few exceptions.

The vast majority of the Convocation wears red masks, but Azem's is black, to better mark them as traveler and counselor.

Elidibus's white robes are also a distinguishing characteristic, but not unique to the office. Any individual bearing white robes can be considered a trustworthy and impartial advisor in matters of their expertise. And considering Elidibus's role, such robes are something of a given.

oh

was that one a friend of yours, too

[...Well. Shit.

Best to bottle that up with everything else. And use "is." Focus on "is."]

Not exactly. More a friend of Azem's, really. From what I've heard, he's something like a little brother to the members of the Convocation. And quite dedicated besides.

dedicated is the proper word for it aye

"elidibus is my name and my duty", something like that

Oh, well, that statement isn't *quite* as extreme as you may think. 'Tis said that once they accept the seat, the office becomes their lives. For some, even their very purpose. I shouldn't be surprised if Elidibus considered the latter to be the case. Nor if it is his youth that contributes to his fervor.

all right
let me ask you something, all vague turns of phrase aside

just how much do you want my forthright responses to commentary like that, really

you know i'm hardly the greatest of fans of some of your colleagues
you also know i've information about them that you haven't

but their deeds are theirs
not yours by association
and if you'd rather be spared them i know how to keep my mouth shut and play along

I wish I could tell you for certain. My "commentary" as you put it, really is meant more to educate as to how things typically are more than to sway you towards any thoughts of mine.

[Except for bringing up Elidibus's age. That was admittedly a low blow on his part.]

But your experiences are different from mine. Very different.

I can't say that I *want* to hear your truth, but I can't help but feel as if I *should.* You've already painted enough of a picture of what becomes of Lahabrea.

well you needn't
what good does it do you rather than make you a martyr for their choices

i once thought i knew what had become of someone i loved
twasn't easy but i made my peace with it

when i later found out there was more to it all than i ever could have imagined i near about lost my mind
sometimes the knowing isn't kind

To put it bluntly: neither is knowing that I'm to die in an undetermined but quickly approaching amount of time.

That knowing the world I love will be reduced to ashes.

That the chance of anything like it existing ever again is slim to none.

And that one of my dearest friends will be left with all of that *and* the duty to pick up the pieces.

[There's a pause in his replies as he takes a moment to collect himself.

It isn't Thancred's fault, he reminds himself. The man is even going to far as to try and spare his feelings. Regardless of what he's done and who he's killed, he's not the one who caused the calamity to begin with. Perhaps not even the initial aggressor.]

My apologies. That... wasn't fair to you.

Even so, 'tis not for the sake of martyrdom that I ask. Truth be told, I think I'd make for an absolutely *terrible* martyr.

But I would at least like to hear about things from your point of view. I can't say that I'll agree with it all, but I'd also prefer not to form an opinion based on halves.

And as there's no one else around to hear it, so shall I take up the reluctant mantle of responsibility.

Star help us all.

[A weak joke, but a joke nonetheless.]

i'm accustomed to things not being fair to me
just as i'm not one to kick a man when he's already down

the sum of the burdens you already bear are weighty enough as it is
there would be little sense in my adding to them for no other reason than some misguided notion of spite
or to let you wallow in the knowledge of things you can't change i suppose

oddly enough i find myself thinking of your original question again
your star or mine
mutually exclusive, one needs must be sacrificed for the other

and yet for what it's worth
for all his bluster to the contrary
i rather think that if there had been a way to have both emet-selch might well have taken it

I... don't doubt that.

Ever has Emet-Selch been guided by duty, but ever has he been a man of great sentiment.

I've managed to put enough together to realize you and yours may have been the ones to do the deed, so to speak, when it comes to him.

As much as it hurts to admit, I think you may have done him a kindness that day.

you know we've met, you and i
before all this i mean
tis how i recognized you first off

twasn't for long
and i don't remember much of the particulars for reasons i'll not get into
but the two of you, you and him, saved my life

so though i know it's not much by way of consolation
you might still keep this much as hope
whatever else may or may not come to pass you will see him again

[It shouldn't be possible. He can't think of any scenario in which it is. He would have had to have lived through whatever's to come through all that, and there's no path he can even begin to think of where that's possible.

And yet...

And yet...

He desperately wants it to be true.]

Thank you.

And I'm sorry again.

For lashing out, I mean. You hardly deserved it.

well
twas softer than a fist to the face so i can safely say i've had worse

we should
well
talk again i suppose

i'm sure i can scrounge up something you'd care to know that isn't altogether negative

[says area man, SOUNDING EXACTLY LIKE CERTAIN AREA ASCIANS AGAIN]

[It's so uncanny that he needs a moment to put himself back together.]

Oh, I'm sure you'll be able to think of something. There are plenty of more pleasant mysteries to be found around here, I've found.

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