video; un: loveless

[limbical]

Oh, hello there.

[Standing in the video is what appears to be a man, even if his proportions are distinctly too tall, arms and legs far too long. The mask he's wearing doesn't help to offset the appearance, and the mouth does not move.

Despite the network username distinctly being Daan's, the voice sounds nothing like him.]

Ladies, gentleman, and all there in between, it's a real pleasure to take advantage of this nifty invention to speak to you all at long last. It's been a real kicker waiting this long, but I'm nothing if not patient! So here we are, and introductions are in order, aren't they? Or maybe we've already met? Well, a refresher couldn't hurt.

I'm called a lot of things, but Pocketcat has been the most consistent. Funny little moniker! I absolutely adore it. And so suitable, too, for my pockets are very deep indeed.

Usually I'm something of a merchant, but I'll admit, my usual goods are just not material right now. My apologies on that front, but perhaps we could all barter for something else instead. I do so love a conversation almost as much as I love to trade, and frankly what is a chat but a trade of words anyway?

Ah, but here I am, rambling on! I should get to the point. Do forgive me.

You may ask me questions, of course, but I'll want something in return. That's just how the barter system goes, baby. For now... let's say I'll want your best story or secret. I'll just have to give a story in return. If such things interest you, of course.

Ta, my loves. I'll be thinking of you all.

Comments

[limbical]

Oh, this sounds good. No, I do not. Please, enlighten me.

[keepgodwaiting]

Let's see if I can remember it, it's an old one.

A priest and a hunter once went out into the woods to hunt deer. The hunter took aim at a deer and shot at it, but the shot went wide and the deer escaped. "Jesus Christ!" cried the hunter, "I missed!"

And the priest said, "My son, you must not take the Lord's name in vain so, or God Himself shall smite you down in judgment." The hunter took this advice, of course, but when he next took aim at a deer, and once again the shot went wide, he cried, "Jesus Christ, I missed!"

And in that moment it seems priest's words came true, for the sky split and thunder rolled and a great lighting bolt smote the ground. And when the smoke had cleared, why, there stood the hunter, and the priest lay burnt to a crisp.

And from the heavens a voice exclaimed, "Jesus Christ, I missed!"

[limbical]

[A hearty, genuine laugh escapes the Pocketcat, and he holds his chest.]

My dear! That's a good one indeed. Not enough jokes about gods, I should say.

Now then. What would you like in return? I'll provide what I can.

[keepgodwaiting]

[ Hey, great, she was preparing an argument for why that counted as a story, and apparently she won't need it. ]

Tip your waitstaff and try the veal, as they say.

What are you?

[limbical]

Hmm, I suppose answering is a fair exchange.

I am the Pocketcat, servant to the Moon God: Rher.

[keepgodwaiting]

Can't say I've met that one. Rher? They have any sway in these parts?

[limbical]

I wouldn't be surprised. A few realms here and there, but from my understanding the universes are vast and many.

Hmm, as much as any god, I suppose. Which is to say... very little. I can hardly feel a tingle from my master, and I have it on good authority that powers are grinded down to an embarrassing amount here. Tragic, that.

[keepgodwaiting]

So how'd you get here to snipe the doctor's username?

[ Based on Daan describing his dealings with gods as "a shitshow," she's betting she won't like the answer. Assuming this ... entity will even give an honest one. She starts wracking her brains for another joke long enough to qualify as a story, something to have on hand. ]

[limbical]

I'm afraid an answer like that will cost you again, my dear. What've you got to share this time?

[keepgodwaiting]

So a guy walks into a bar, sits down at the bar, and pulls out of his pocket a little guy, about a foot tall, and a little piano just the right size for the guy. Have you heard this one?