video ; @thundaga

[astraphilia]

[ hello and welcome to Boredom Hours, sponsored by one too many midafternoon beers and a perpetual inability to not immediately make his ennui everyone else's problem. today's host is... Reno!

when the video starts, it's to a shockingly decently framed shot of Reno doing the hooligan squat on the front stoop of his apartment building. he's got a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth, and once he's sure that the video is rolling he takes a long drag of it before he speaks. ]

Sup. I'm Reno. Some of ya may know me from my colorful past as "guy who got yanked into pool by tentacle monster."

[ probably nobody knows him that way but it's fine. we are not concerned with strict veracity here. Reno blows a neat smoke ring and grins the kind of grin that means he knows he's being a pain in the ass. ]

I was thinkin', y'know, there's only so many of us. Probably ain't a bad idea to get to know each other, right? [ he gestures with his cigarette as he speaks as if to underscore his words. ] We need some conversation starters. Some icebreakers, y'know? Everybody's favorite highlight from their corporate bonding retreats.

So! [ he holds up a hand to count on.

one finger. ] Two truths and a lie. Post 'em, let other people guess. I'll leave mine too. Shoutout to the blond girlie who had that party a couple months back for this one.

[ two fingers. ] Hot or not. Or smash or pass, whatever you wanna call it. Post yourself and let people vote, if you're brave. Or post your friends if you want to fuck around. You can all see my face right now so count that as my submission.

[ three fingers. ] Creativity exercise, open prompt. You can go anywhere, be anybody, do anything you want. The world ain't ending and there's no war or whatever the hell going on. Who are you and what are you doing? [ brief smoke break, and then Reno stubs the butt out on the cement, exhaling as he says, ] Me, I wanna make mediocre coffee for minimum wage and not worry about shit except makin' rent.

[ and lastly, four fingers. ] "Reno, this is fuckin' stupid and I don't want to do it." Okay, nobody's got a gun to your head. We ain't even got guns here. Do what you want.

[ his four fingers curl in so he can offer a cheerful, if a bit manic, thumbs-up before he reaches out to turn off the video.

just before he touches the button, though, he pauses as if something just occurred to him— ] Oh, shit—also, drop map pins for your favorite restaurant in this place. I'm in the market for new eats, bonus points if it's spicy.

[ okay, now he's gone. ]

Comments

[badfeyth]

I'm in legal, corporate boy. Everyone always has bad news for me. :(

Speaking of, if I hadn't wasted my guess on lamenting the lack of redheads in my general vicinity, my assumption would be that you are in fact a good helicopter pilot, but you're not licensed, so it's a lie on a technicality.

[astraphilia]

oof, can't say I envy you...

[ the ShinRa legal department always did hate the Turks, after all. ]

if you hadn't wasted your guess you would have been right, it was a lie on a technicality

I am good at it though! that wasn't part of the lie

[badfeyth]

I thought so. That's usually how one wins at a game like this — say things that are all generally true, but add a little too much specificity to one that makes it false.

They do say the best lies are the ones that are mostly true.

[astraphilia]

they do say that and they're right. stickin as close to the truth as you can makes it easier not to fuck up the lie later on

if you make something outlandish up it gets tough to remember all the detail

funny though, most people get too specific about the truths and that's how I clock 'em. keep the truths generic and the lies as close as the truth to possible, that's my motto