video ; @thundaga

[astraphilia]

[ hello and welcome to Boredom Hours, sponsored by one too many midafternoon beers and a perpetual inability to not immediately make his ennui everyone else's problem. today's host is... Reno!

when the video starts, it's to a shockingly decently framed shot of Reno doing the hooligan squat on the front stoop of his apartment building. he's got a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth, and once he's sure that the video is rolling he takes a long drag of it before he speaks. ]

Sup. I'm Reno. Some of ya may know me from my colorful past as "guy who got yanked into pool by tentacle monster."

[ probably nobody knows him that way but it's fine. we are not concerned with strict veracity here. Reno blows a neat smoke ring and grins the kind of grin that means he knows he's being a pain in the ass. ]

I was thinkin', y'know, there's only so many of us. Probably ain't a bad idea to get to know each other, right? [ he gestures with his cigarette as he speaks as if to underscore his words. ] We need some conversation starters. Some icebreakers, y'know? Everybody's favorite highlight from their corporate bonding retreats.

So! [ he holds up a hand to count on.

one finger. ] Two truths and a lie. Post 'em, let other people guess. I'll leave mine too. Shoutout to the blond girlie who had that party a couple months back for this one.

[ two fingers. ] Hot or not. Or smash or pass, whatever you wanna call it. Post yourself and let people vote, if you're brave. Or post your friends if you want to fuck around. You can all see my face right now so count that as my submission.

[ three fingers. ] Creativity exercise, open prompt. You can go anywhere, be anybody, do anything you want. The world ain't ending and there's no war or whatever the hell going on. Who are you and what are you doing? [ brief smoke break, and then Reno stubs the butt out on the cement, exhaling as he says, ] Me, I wanna make mediocre coffee for minimum wage and not worry about shit except makin' rent.

[ and lastly, four fingers. ] "Reno, this is fuckin' stupid and I don't want to do it." Okay, nobody's got a gun to your head. We ain't even got guns here. Do what you want.

[ his four fingers curl in so he can offer a cheerful, if a bit manic, thumbs-up before he reaches out to turn off the video.

just before he touches the button, though, he pauses as if something just occurred to him— ] Oh, shit—also, drop map pins for your favorite restaurant in this place. I'm in the market for new eats, bonus points if it's spicy.

[ okay, now he's gone. ]

Comments

text ;

[astraphilia]

1. I'm a licensed helicopter pilot (and a good one too)
2. my natural hair color is brown
3. I'm left-handed

[abstractart]

kinda want to go with 2

but i feel like 3 is the kind you write down and go 'nope, got you, this one's a lie because i use both hands'

@DONQUIXOT3, video

[icanfixer]

[ blond gi WAIT THAT'S HER!!!!!!!! wow. she can't stop her grin. first she'll actually drop a pin for a restaurant that's got a mean spicy pizza sauce for their pies and then reply. ]

Kehm! I shall accept thy "hot"s, for I am aware I am a personage of much attraction featurely! Though I do not wish to be smashed this time 'round.

[ ... she has the feeling it isn't like, killing someone, because she has heard some fucking slang at this point and the casualness reno exudes has the same sort of modernity as those do. she is practicing caution. ]

I have no purpose other than for justice, so whatever would grant me that in its purest form, and... hmhm. Allow me to think on the truths and a lie, and I shall join in then. For now, I shall accept thy compliments. ♪

[ look at her. give her hots. she definitely isn't just cute. ]

TEXT ♡ username: fearnie

[fauned]

( easy. )

hot 👍

( 🔥👅💦, etc. )

TEXT ♡ username: fearnie

[fauned]

what, not gonna post a better pic for all of us to judge? you didn't even pose
boooooo hiss

text ;

[astraphilia]

what do you MEAN I didn't even pose

I was posing the whole time!

video; un: netzach

[abstractart]

Corporate.... what? Is that supposed to be a thing?

[he does not think to volunteer himself for ratings but like, for the record. he's in the middle of painting so the view here is like so, minus the funky background.]

video ;

[astraphilia]

First: hot.

[ smash! Reno grins. hello, fellow ponytail. ]

This is the part where I admit I ain't been on any corporate retreats either. But what I hear is that you play games like this and then spend the rest of the time talkin' about how you can earn the company more money.

[ the Turks certainly did not do this but some of the other ShinRa teams definitely did! ]

video; un: mightiest

[fanstheflames]

My favorite restaurant and recommended place for spicy food is me!!

[ she could have worded this a little better, but you know? It's fine. She's fired up, apparently. ]

video ;

[astraphilia]

[ a slightly too long second where Reno just has both eyebrows up while he tries to decide how to interpret this comment...

...from the obvious heartfelt sincerity in it he has to assume she doesn't mean for it to come off the way it does? ]

Y'know that sounds like you're inviting cannibalism?

[ there's another possible interpretation too, but she looks like a teenager so he's not going there. ]

video; un: hythlodaeus

[nomoresharks]

Oh I quite enjoy these. Let's see... I shall allow this video to be my entry for the second.

As for the third, assuming I can't pick the job I already have... Actually, a job as a barrista does sound quite nice, doesn't it? I'd prefer to be known for quality coffee rather than mediocre, but if it came with the chance to hear others' stories, I think I'd enjoy it quite a bit.

And for the first... Hm.

One: I drink both my tea and coffee plain. Two: my home has no moon. And three: I've taken to collecting colorful tins while out and about.

[astraphilia]

[ so glad somebody else is on team "let this video count," Reno's getting clowned for not showing tits. you're his only friend, Hythlodaeus. ]

Hot, definitely hot. It's the hair. [ fellow ponytail, hello. ] If ya like your job that much you can keep it, but it does kinda defeat the purpose of the creative part, eh?

[ if Reno knew what Hythlodaeus' job was he might agree it's pretty lit though. ]

It's not that I want to be known for mediocre coffee, I just wanna put in minimal effort and still get paid, y'know?

video; un: yesod

[wordchain]

[ Yesod hasn't forgotten the pool monster warning... This time, however, he's just taking in the range of Boredom Hours prompts here. People do enjoy passing the time with games like these, and he's contemplating the two truths and a lie, at least... Maybe he could suggest word chaining as another option, since he recalls its appeal.

But for now— ]

Is there a reason why making mediocre coffee is your ideal scenario?

[ If his coffee enthusiast colleague were here... ]

(semi-here)

[abstractart]

[you know what.

he's busy painting at yesod's apartment, currently, so if he Just So Happens to accidentally bump the camera angle here or there for a good background shot of yesod? oops. he definitely was not framing him a little better in the light. would he do that.]

video; un: archon

[onlythans]

[So here's the thing; Thancred doesn't usually make video posts on the network — call it old habits of not attaching facial recognition to static names. But sometimes a little risk is worth it for the possibility of significant reward, and the best way to do that is to play along.

The fact of the matter is, when he first sees Reno's challenge, he's actually at the university hot and more than a little sweaty from messing around on the basketball courts for a few bells; in the interval between seeing the post, perceiving the nature of the post, and actually switching his camera on, he decides that if he's going to play along, he'll do it while representing for a different athletic activity instead.

Case in point: when he finally does switch on the feed, it's at the side of the swimming pool, and if he just happens to be shirtless and dripping and his hair is artfully rumpled from a rapid towel-dry, WELL. HE'S NOT A MODEL THE CAMERA JUST TURNED ON BY MISTAKE.]

What's all this, then?

[He says, innocently, because Thancred you absolute fuckboy extraordinaire.]

[astraphilia]

[ for his absolutely completely coincidental and accidental efforts in contributing to the overall hotness level of this post, Thancred is rewarded with a loud, enthusiastic wolf-whistle. can you hear it all the way over there on the bball court?

of course, Reno doesn't for a second believe the innocence in that tone (only because it's the same innocence he puts in his when he wants to misbehave). ]

Oh, smash. For sure.

video un: loveless

[limbical]

I'll play along with your first game. Let's see. I don't think I'm gonna with anything that mundane as far as statements go...

First: Before arriving to this city, I have successfully revived someone from the dead.

Second: I lost my eye in the war I was in.

Third: I've been to another dimension prior to arriving to this city.

[astraphilia]

Y'know you're playin' the second just by leaving your video on, right?

[ he doesn't make the rules. although he actually quite literally does, since he posted the thing to begin with.

these are some good truths and lies though, just specific enough to seem believable while still not making it obvious which is untrue. ]

I've seen enough war to believe the eye thing... I'm guessin' three.

VIDEO ♡ username: fearnie

[fauned]

( okay, negging aside. did she go out of her way for this? of course. she can't just rag on reno and then proceed not to put her money where her mouth is.

speaking of. the feed turns on to.. her collarbones, mildly put. she had to stoop a bit to turn the feed on, you understand. freckles as far as the eyes can see until the rest is hidden away by a corset and a sheer shawl. she does back up a bit, at least, wearing the mischievous smile of a woman that knows what she's doing as she leans on a kitchen counter. it's innocent enough, though. by her hip, she's got a row of shots, ripe for her taking.

not that she takes one just yet, too busy toying with a bit of her hair round a finger. )

'Kay. Now I'm ready to play. Whatever game you'd like! Just ask me for a set for two truths and a lie and I'll give you your own to chew on.

[astraphilia]

[ she already Very Much knows his answer to the smash or pass question, but for posterity Reno still says, ] Smash. And then smash again for good measure.

[ and maybe a third time after that!

now, on to business: ]

Go on, gorgeous. Let me guess.

TEXT ♡ username: fearnie

[fauned]

( reason for her second death incoming, )

and because i havent seen them yet but now i want to make a point since netzy is clearly lying to himself and our coworkers ARE hot

i present to you my first of many considerations: miss gebura!

( with, of course, a candid as an attachment. everyone start thinking of eulogies but someone had to fucking do it. )

like im really starting to think that part of the requirements of working here is that they have to be pretty

1/2 (she's thinking hold on)

[icanfixer]

[ oooooooouugggggggggggggggghhhhhnhhhhdssyydhhshsggggaaskkdd










she has to give her support but she has to be very sneaky about it. ]

text; un: emet-selch

[nomoresharks]

[once again, there's gremlinry afoot. First off is a candid picture taken of Emet-Selch at the table having his morning coffee. And looking none-too-pleased with the one taking the picture.]

1. I hate the cold. 2. I can wield magicks and swing a greatsword with equal ease. 3. The musical is the greatest form of art known to mankind.

@DONQUIXOT3, video

[icanfixer]

[ wow what a sourpuss. reminds her of her boss, who is hot and terrifying. ]

Hmhm, the last is true no matter one's feelings on it, so I suspect that it must be the second through process of elimination. Thou'rt quite the handsome man as well, Ser... Emet-Selch.

[ yeah she thinks she's saying that right enough. eh-meht sellkkuh. yeah. ]

[Text] un: Capsulecorp

[fashionably_strong]

I'll participate in all three!

Two truths and a lie:
1. I've known how to block hacking attempts since I was four.
2. My brother built a robotic butler to clean up after him.
3. My dad once ripped the steering wheel off of the car of two guys who were flirting with me.

Hot or not: Picture

Creativity exercise:
I want to build a machine that will allow for voluntary multiversal travel so that I can visit my friends in other worlds.

@DONQUIXOT3, video

[icanfixer]

[ maam ]

Surely it is the second, for I think the others quite possible! Certainly the last with how beautiful thou'rt.

[ she's just being genuine... women uplifting women and all. but bulma is a beauty. that covers two of the three. ]

Lastly, could thee truly do it? For I would very much like to hitch a ride as well!!!

TEXT ♡ username: fearnie

[fauned]

( ARE YOU TIRED OF HER BEING EVERYWHERE YET. i am. well, this one's also important. )

as i said on a previous bit i have a point to make
and we would not even be together as a group if not for our beloved employer!
so of course, angela has to be shown off a little too

( a different kind of candid this time, mostly because she knows angela is always going to be keen to her getting up to no good. so.................... sorry it's not of her face. here's the attachment! 'did she need to sneak this' oh, absolutely. )

you'll just have to believe me when i say she's got a pretty face
if you don't trust me, come to the bookstore and see for yourself!

[abstractart]

it was nice knowing you

@DONQUIXOT3, txt

[icanfixer]

SINCE MY ROOMMATE IS A SHY FLOWER I HAVE ELECTED TO PUT HIM UP FOR THIS HOT OR NOT AS WELL TO BOOST HIS ESTEEM

PICTURE

HE HAS A GENTLE PERSONALITY THAT ONLY BENDS AND DOES NOT BREAK HE IS MY VERY BEST FRIEND AND I SHALL SHOW HIM THY RESPONSES AFTERWARDS

[ ........ so help her if you do not clap for her normal ass boyfriend best friend-- ]

@kromer

[gripper]

9/10

@anonymous, txt

[icanfixer]

[ ... and now for a picture she's going to get fucking ended for but that's fine that's why she's doing this totally anonymous.

all she's doing is dropping a picture of vergilius this is absolutely a sneak shot how can you not when there's a color in the rarest state of not being fucking angry with you!!!!!!!! there was no way miss don "fixerfan" quixote was going to let it slide by!!!!!!! that's why the angle is from a short person's height!!!!!!!!!!!!






her boss is hot and terrifying!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]

video; un: loveless

[limbical]

Rest in fucking peace whoever took this picture and had the guts to post it.

[unspoken smash is there, but this isn't his preferred method of teasing Vergilius]

@DONQUIXOT3, txt

[icanfixer]

[ SURELY YOU AREN'T TIRED OF HER YET!!!!!!!!! HER AND FEARNE DOMINATING THE PICTURE MARKET RIGHT NOW!!!!!! ]

HAVE THEE SEEN THIS MAN?

IF NOT THEN NOW THOU HATH

HEEHEE

SIR ROLAND IS A RATHER HANDSOME MAN IS HE NOT? THOUGH HE MAY APPEAR UNREMARKABLE HE HAS SEVERAL TRAITS WHICH MAKE HIM A MOST DESIRABLE PARTNER

SUCH AS HIS ABILITY TO COOK

AND HIS JAWLINE

HE IS A MOST DEPENDABLE PERSON WHENCE IT COUNTS AND ONCE I HAVE SEEN HIM AGAIN I SHALL GIVE TO HIM ALL THY RESPONSES SO DO LET THEM BE PLENTIFUL!!!!!!!!

[ ... where is he, anyways... ]

video; un:theredgaze

[immortalpoet]

[unspoken smash is here but]

Why are you doing this.

Text, Video | un: stampede

[bountyfull]

[ he has been here for FIVE MINUTES. ]

Jeez, talk about first impressions. I've never really been good at lying but...

I'm younger than I look.
I was born on a space ship.
I have a twin brother.

I think those count.

[ As for rhr rest of the games, while Vash dies turn his video on to wave, he mostly pays attention to the last option. ]

I think what I'd want the most is to just live alongside everyone peacefully. It's not anything extravagant, but it sounds nice right?

video ;

[astraphilia]

[ welcome to the 100% unfiltered Reno experience, it does not get much better from here! ]

It's way easier to lie in text. None of those pesky tells to give ya away.

[ he winks flirtatiously, then considers the options. they're all fairly simple, but that's usually the best move for this game. ]

Hmm... I'm guessin' number three.

@conductor, video

[entwinedfate]

[ Oh, how interesting. He can already see some familiar names and pictures of others here... which he'll kindly ignore so his day can remain pleasant. This'll be a nice time to learn about others.

Argalia's voice is gentle and warm, friendly with a touch of playfulness. Hello to the other city-dwellers. ]

You're quite the people person, aren't you? Consider my interest caught, and your rating to be attractive enough.

[ Though no one could ever fill the hole in his heart. ]

You can consider this my entry as well, and I think I'll go with that exercise... My sister and I would be living someplace peaceful and quiet, just the two of us, free from all burdens and misfortunes. I'd like to play piano, maybe, while she sings; we'd keep the windows open and invite all who'd like to listen to do so there, and live under the sun in harmony. It wouldn't matter what we ended up doing professionally, so long as the other was happy.

[ It sounds soooooooo sweet unless you know. ]

video; un: loveless

[limbical]

Huh, that sounds like a pretty nice dream to have. I always liked the idea of having a sibling. Elder or younger sister?

UN:DStorm, text

[bardstorming]

Unfortunately, I do not have a picture of myself at my best

[aka the outfit from that pageant, and secretly he feels relieved because it's embarrassing and exciting at the same time and he can't decide]

But my best friend Fearne is a true beauty


On a different topic- why do you want to make mediocre coffee? I suppose if you don't drink it but...

text ; @thundaga

[astraphilia]

you're absolutely right about Fearne

you should show yourself off too ;) you don't need to be at your best, I'm sure you're plenty pretty

[ how does he know that? #vibes. ]

it's not that I want to make mediocre coffee, it's that I want to put in the bare minimum amount of effort and still be able to make it in life!

un: junpei, text

[coolerjunpei]

so everyone here is a solid 8 at least, huh?

[Lazy guy pro strat: Everyone's At Least This Hot, don't have to answer everybody--]

as for my normal-ass scenario, maybe i'd get a dog or something. who's got advice on what kind of dogs to get?

text ; @thundaga

[astraphilia]

this place has high baseline hotness, it's true

think that's part of the selection criteria? "raise or maintain average hotness level"



what kind of lifestyle do you wanna lead?

un: anonymous | text | part uno

[nichocolatine]

[ badou doesn't make many appearances on the network these days — pretty hard to top his last one, ya feel? — but when it comes to being a grade-A menace, there's no truer calling that'll get him crawling out the woodwork. ]

HOT OR NOT/SMASH OR PASS:
high ranking member of the city's big tiddie committee:

[ whaddup it's ya boy alhaitham. it's a candid shot, taken outside during a setting sun, which provides the perfect light source to highlight rippling muscles sheened lightly with sweat. it's an action shot, taken at jut the right moment when alhaitham lifts a large drum barrel high over his head. he very clearly isn't aware his likeness had been captured at the time. ]

Not Here

[justscribing]

[Alhaithan is ignoring this.

But he knows it was you, Badou.]

un: anonymous | text | part II

[nichocolatine]

[ don't worry, badou's just getting started. ]

HOT OR NOT/SMASH OR PASS:
voted most likely to make losing pens in your hair look damn good:

[ up next we have kaveh, because it's only right to mention the other after mentioning the first. they come in pairs, see, and maybe that's a little obvious when the photo submitted is very obviously taken on the same day, in the same open space. except instead of rippling muscles ripped straight out of a nora robert's cover page, kaveh's candid is something softer — capturing the moment at the dinner table when one too many glasses of wine has his cheeks looking flushed, his expression looking dreamy. he's got his eyes closed, chin propped up on an open palm, and an idle finger tracing detailed patterns onto the sauce of a mostly-empty plate.

(cut off just beside him is a familiar muscley arm, this time adorned with complex equations written in marker. but that's neither here nor there.) ]

Also not here

[justscribing]

[He's downloading that picture though.]

un: anonymous | text | part c

[nichocolatine]

[ he just keeps going! but let's pause the shenanigans for a second to shout out best girl, never done anything wrong in her life. ]

CUTIE OR PATOOTIE:
little miss congeniality and absolute perfect angel:
(dont be fucking weird shes 15 ok i swear to god)

[ you guessed it, it's nill! this one's taken out in town, in the middle of what looks to be a grocery trip. one arm laden with a mesh bag full of oranges (shop sustainably, kids!) but her arms are busy holding two big bouquets of pink and blue hydrangeas, her expression merry and bright and absolutely at peace. ]

text | @stray

[kampfgeist]

[ he can't not ]

best #1 angel

un: anonymous | text | part last

[nichocolatine]

[ this is it, folks, we've reached the end. cookies for everyone who's managed to make it this long, but trust that badou knows how to end a show. ]

HOT OR NOT/SMASH OR PASS:
#1 guy to come in and save your ass so long as he feels like it:

[ surprise, it's heine. BETCHA DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING, HUH? still candid, taken a lot earlier than the others had been. it was the evening of that roof party, the one this game's benefactor so graciously shouted out. the string of twinkley lights makes for a nice backdrop for this particular shot — taken from across the roof, catching heine mid-chuckle, looking about as relaxed as one can be. and if this photo feels a little different than the others? mind your business. ]

text | @stray

[kampfgeist]

pass