citynet | video ; @thundaga

video ; @thundaga

[ hello and welcome to Boredom Hours, sponsored by one too many midafternoon beers and a perpetual inability to not immediately make his ennui everyone else's problem. today's host is... Reno!

when the video starts, it's to a shockingly decently framed shot of Reno doing the hooligan squat on the front stoop of his apartment building. he's got a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth, and once he's sure that the video is rolling he takes a long drag of it before he speaks. ]

Sup. I'm Reno. Some of ya may know me from my colorful past as "guy who got yanked into pool by tentacle monster."

[ probably nobody knows him that way but it's fine. we are not concerned with strict veracity here. Reno blows a neat smoke ring and grins the kind of grin that means he knows he's being a pain in the ass. ]

I was thinkin', y'know, there's only so many of us. Probably ain't a bad idea to get to know each other, right? [ he gestures with his cigarette as he speaks as if to underscore his words. ] We need some conversation starters. Some icebreakers, y'know? Everybody's favorite highlight from their corporate bonding retreats.

So! [ he holds up a hand to count on.

one finger. ] Two truths and a lie. Post 'em, let other people guess. I'll leave mine too. Shoutout to the blond girlie who had that party a couple months back for this one.

[ two fingers. ] Hot or not. Or smash or pass, whatever you wanna call it. Post yourself and let people vote, if you're brave. Or post your friends if you want to fuck around. You can all see my face right now so count that as my submission.

[ three fingers. ] Creativity exercise, open prompt. You can go anywhere, be anybody, do anything you want. The world ain't ending and there's no war or whatever the hell going on. Who are you and what are you doing? [ brief smoke break, and then Reno stubs the butt out on the cement, exhaling as he says, ] Me, I wanna make mediocre coffee for minimum wage and not worry about shit except makin' rent.

[ and lastly, four fingers. ] "Reno, this is fuckin' stupid and I don't want to do it." Okay, nobody's got a gun to your head. We ain't even got guns here. Do what you want.

[ his four fingers curl in so he can offer a cheerful, if a bit manic, thumbs-up before he reaches out to turn off the video.

just before he touches the button, though, he pauses as if something just occurred to him— ] Oh, shit—also, drop map pins for your favorite restaurant in this place. I'm in the market for new eats, bonus points if it's spicy.

[ okay, now he's gone. ]

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Are you playing all of these games at the same time? That seems a little confusing.

[ Reno grins. he looks considerably less manic than earlier, now that he's gotten some energy out on all this nonsense. ]

I'm a real good multitasker.

You can do 'em one at a time if ya want, though!

If you're lying and complimenting others at the same time, does that mean we have to guess if you mean it sincerely?

[ He likes the enthusiasm, though. He might be teasing just a bit. ]

Ah, but I don't think it's proper behavior to lie. That sort of thing is unbecoming.

[ the overly offended look on Reno's face is all teasing, no real heat to it at all as he puts a hand to his heart. ]

I would never lie about smash or pass! That shit's holy. [ no it's not Reno has never thought anything to be holy in his life. maybe with one singular exception. ] My compliments are all 100% genuine, real deal. Pinky swear.

[ he sticks out his pinky like he expects Xichen to pinky swear him through the screen. ]

Does that mean you ain't gonna play?

[ He looks like he wants to call bullshit on that claim, but he can't give any real justifiable reason. Reno hasn't done anything to indicate he would lie, and Lan Xichen is too bound to etiquette to attempt to expose him.

Plus, he made a pinky promise. That counts for something, right? He has to believe him. ]

Well, all right... I suppose if I were able to go anywhere, I would be no one and travel from country to country, experiencing many things without having to return until I wanted to. Perhaps I would simply become a bird.

[ He at least smiles at the whole game. ]

Will that do? I cannot bear trying to pass a lie as truth.

[ that's just Xichen's excellent instincts at work, because Reno is absolutely a troublemaker through and through. as it so happens he's not lying about smash or pass, though, so he is at least an honest troublemaker in this particular moment. ]

Hey, a bird ain't bad. I'm guessin' whatever line of work you're in, it's not the type that sends you around on no deadline.

[ that much, Reno can appreciate. his line of work isn't like that either, and even though traveling a bunch would probably exhaust him, he can see why it would appeal.

the final protestation does make him laugh. genuine amusement, not mockery in the least. ] You're the honest type, huh? Does it help if part of the fun is admitting to the lie?

No, we must adhere to a strict schedule where I am from. If we don't, then there are too many problems.

[ Well, being a clan leader is more inherited duties than a job, but he definitely sees the connection. They can't avoid responsibilities even when they want to. ]

I prefer to be honest, yes.

[ That's putting it lightly. He's always trying to be the good example of a righteous cultivator. But he does smile. ]

All right. Then, I suppose I could try.

[ Which means he has to come up with three statements. After thinking about it, he puts them in text. ]

1. I live in accordance to 4,000 rules.
2. I have never been in love.
3. I have not eaten meat.

[ Reno leaves his video on, which means he gets to that first one and Xichen can watch the way his face contorts when he reads the number. ]

Four thousand?!

[ but that's one of those things that's so absurd, Reno has to assume it's true... so he keeps reading, rubbing his chin idly as he considers. ]

...Second one?

[ Lan Xichen switches the video back on to resume the conversation more naturally. It still feels strange to text if he can speak. When his face is visible again, he's definitely trying to suppress laughter. ]

I suppose the number of restrictions and rules for proper conduct is ever increasing, but we have reached four thousand so far.

[ And some, but it's better to stick with milestones. ]

Ah, that one is true. Unfortunately, love is difficult to find.

[ for Reno, who has only ever managed to follow like three rules in his lifetime, the prospect of four thousand rules is dizzying. ]

So far... holy shit. My guy, that is... [ it's not often that Reno finds himself speechless, but for at least a couple of seconds here, he truly has no idea what to say about all that. ] How do you do it? I don't even follow the dress code where I work.

[ but he's very good at his job so everybody just lets it slide, for the most part.

the second part has him lifting an invisible glass in a toast. ] I'll drink to that. Love's kinda for squares anyway, though, so no harm no foul. I guess that means it's the meat one? Kinda surprised one of your four thousand rules ain't "eat no meat" or somethin'.

Since I have been away, I have probably missed some since. My uncle must have found some more upsetting things in my absence to threaten a virtuous life.

[ He's both dry and fond as he say that. Everyone knows their sect takes righteous conduct far too seriously, but Lan Xichen believes his elders mean well. Although he has to agree with Reno's thoughts at least somewhat. Maybe they get carried away? ]

I think your appearance is quite handsome. Surely none of your colleagues have complaints.

[ There's a tiny hint of playful teasing, but he maintains as much of his reserved gentleman's etiquette as he can through it. ]

I am forbidden from taking life needlessly and I do attempt to forgo eating flesh, but eating meat does not defy the conduct of my sect. When I first came here, someone offered me one of those... pale, soft sausages we were given. I was told they were meat, although they were nothing familiar to me.

[ He makes a face as he remembers trying the bite from before. ]

Unfortunately, I have failed to uphold some of the rules since I came.

I better never visit where you're from or I think I'd give your uncle a heart attack.

[ and if this guy is used to living a life guided by more than 4000 rules about how to be virtuous, it's really no wonder he was unsure about the idea of two truths and a lie. probably "don't tell lies" is on that list somewhere.

the teasing is familiar ground, though, and Reno winks playfully in return. ] I shoulda convinced you to play smash or pass too, just so I could tell you the same. [ although having said as much is basically the same as telling him, so. (that may or may not be the point.) ] My boss complains. The rest of 'em don't 'cause I'm second in command and it turns out when you're good at your job nobody can say shit if your shirt's not regulation.

[ Reno's brow wrinkles slightly at the rather unappealing description of whatever it was he ate. ] I don't think I got offered any sausages when I got here. But I came a couple months later, so there's plenty I missed out on.

[ he grins. ] Which rules have been the most fun to break so far?

[ He can imagine Reno in Cloud Recesses, and he thinks for that moment that Reno would definitely get along with Wei Wuxian. ]

Mm, I believe my uncle would be... motivated to work even harder on the wall of discipline if we were to receive company from this world.

[ That might be good for them all, though, and Lan Xichen thinks Reno's group must be lucky to have him. Testing the limits of something can make them stronger. ]

It sounds like they appreciate having you.

[ Whether the boss complains or not, he let Reno gain rank, didn't he? That says something. Although at the last question Lan Xichen's face turns a deep red. ]

Young master, you can't ask that!

[ He can't bring himself to make eye contact through the shame and the truth he's afraid Reno might actually see if he does turn his head. ]

Such shameful things should not be mentioned. It's impolite to boast about one's misconduct.

[ would that everyone who meets Reno felt the same way. the unfortunate truth is that most people who meet Reno are in for a world of hurt, and therefore not especially happy about his presence, but it's a nice sentiment all the same.

he would say more about the Turks, but Reno finds himself instead fascinated by the bright red color that overtakes Xichen's face. that kind of blush can only mean one thing: that he has indeed broken at least some of the rules, and that it was indeed very fun for him. ]

Aww, come on. It ain't impolite if I'm askin', is it? [ he leans in again, propping his chin in one hand and grinning. ] I know a thing or two about breakin' rules, you know? I don't think you could scandalize me if you tried.

W-well...

[ He glances back at the phone, then away, like he can somehow avoid the embarrassment if he just picks something out to distract himself. A passing breeze or a picture on the wall. Anything that lets him avoid admitting something that doesn't fit the perfect image of righteousness he's used to wearing. ]

It wasn't intentional. I just- it would be wrong not to accept a drink. I didn't mean to behave indecently, but I suppose this is why such things are forbidden.

[ He tries to keep his cool as he admits that, but the look on his face despite the attempt at reserved calm shows he did, in fact, enjoy his slips in propriety. ]

I wouldn't dare attempt to scandalize you. I should be ashamed already.

[ this is... oddly cute, Reno thinks, because he gets the distinct impression that he and Xichen have wildly different ideas of what constitutes "indecent behavior." it's for that reason that Reno clarifies, ]

Are we talkin' behave indecently like you started cussin' too much or behave indecently like you went home with someone you shouldn'ta? [ just so he knows where they're setting the bar, here! ] ...Although now that I say it I ain't sure either of those count as indecent behavior really.

[ not for him, anyway. not that Reno's the standard by which polite society should be measured... ]

Ey, nah. I mean, you ain't gotta answer if it makes you that uncomfortable. [ he can be a jerk, but he's not an asshole to people who don't deserve a little assholery! ] But I ain't big on shame in general. And you probably don't have to obey all 4000 rules when you're here.

[ Reno is right on target with his theory, and Lan Xichen's blush only deepens when he finds his answer. It's given quietly, but sincerely, because he still doesn't want to lie or deceive anyone. ]

I did not go home with anyone. I did not ask to.

[ And his saving grace might be that he's certain he would have been rejected if he had. Somehow, that feels a little disappointing, but relieving all the same. ]

I have made a fool of myself enough by forgetting my manners and burdening those around me. Is that not a shameful act?

[ Regardless, he finally does look back to Reno, like he's seeking some kind of allowance from him personally by confessing his silly, drunken sins. There's something comforting in hearing what this man has to say, even if Xichen can tell he wouldn't have much concern for rules in the first place. A part of him admires that. ]

But if I don't follow the rules I know, then I will certainly be lost.

[ He does manage a smile despite his insecurity. Maybe he's starting to gain confidence. ]

Even after one transgression, I was already too careless with my thoughts and words. What should I do if I cause anyone trouble?

[ he's absolutely aware that it's ridiculous for Reno, who killed his ability to feel superficial shame when he was a teenager and never let it grow back, to be saying anything on the subject of embarrassment. but precisely because he killed that shame, he has no problem leaning close to the camera and saying, very pragmatically, ]

But what ya gotta think about is, were you really burdenin' anyone or did you just think you were burdenin' someone. [ he hasn't actually thought about what it means to burden someone in—

well, it's actually been a lot less time than he'd like to admit to, but still. ]

'Cause that's what I get from the proper types a lot. Real worried about bein' a burden, worried about embarrassing themselves, but actually nobody minds and nobody thinks it's embarrassing. [ nodding to himself, Reno sits back from the camera again. he deeply cannot relate to the idea of following rules so as not to be lost—if anything, following the rules would be what made Reno lose his sense of self first—but he definitely senses the starched edges of this man's propriety and can understand, if only intellectually, why pushing against them would be uncomfortable. ]

And if ya do cause someone trouble then you just say you're sorry and ya both move on like grown-ups, I guess. —Kinda depends on what the transgression was, but you don't strike me as the type to fuck somebody else's wife or whatever, pardon my language.

[ Lan Xichen looks back, a little surprised at Reno's point. In any other place he has been, the expectation to keep up formality and appearances and never be a burden to anyone else would simply be understood. As a leader, it's his duty to support those around him and set the right example, even if it means ignoring his own pride or feelings to maintain an image of perfect propriety. Reno reminds him a little of Wei Wuxian, and surprisingly not in the usual frustrating way that carefree attitude usually evokes in his mind. He's actually moved by that simple, honest reply--up until the moment Reno mentions cheating, and Lan Xichen has to quickly cover his face with his arm to hide his scandalized expression. ]

O-of course not. I would not dream of offending someone so deeply. I worry that my behavior was already too much, especially for those who barely know me. It would be unfair to...

[ Reno has managed to find new ways to make Xichen blush all the way to his ears. He can't even think of a reasonable excuse because he's so flustered, but at the same time, he also can't be angry. ]

You shouldn't speak of such things either. We are all good people here who wouldn't do anything like that.

[ that is... well, honestly a real encapsulation of what it means to know Reno—surprisingly insightful commentary followed by something absolutely filthy or shockingly scandalous. this is just kind of a speedrun of the experience.

Reno grins a little. he can tell by the shade of red that Xichen turns that his language is in fact not pardoned, but it's a little cute, actually, so he doesn't feel too bad about it. ]

Then you got nothin' to worry about, right? Like, if it were me, and you and me went and drank and you started cursin', I'd probably think it was cute. Funny. Not a burden, definitely not an offense. [ ...obviously. while Reno is often intentionally a little bit light on self-awareness, even he knows it would be the height of tomfoolery for him to act offended over someone else's language when his potty mouth is the way it is. (no comment about sleeping with married people...) ]

What's the one rule your place has that you've always kinda just a little bit thought was too much?

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video ; @thundaga

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