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Video | un: czerny

[When the video started, the camera was facing the wrong way.]

Oh! Oops.

[Noah was quick to realize it, at least, poking the screen until the camera changed to display his face. He was alive again but he was still pale, like he hadn't spent a day in the sun. Actually, he probably hadn't since arriving and finding himself in a living body. At least, not long enough to develop any sort of tan.]

Hey! Um.

[It was a little late to realize he wasn't entirely sure he knew what he wanted to say. He knew, but he didn't know. There was an important difference.]

Okay, so like- I think I'm starting to get the hang of things around here. The whole 'we take what we need and we don't have to pay for it' thing.

[It still felt a little like shoplifting...]

But- so, the apartment I picked doesn't have a bed. Is it a faux pas or whatever to just...take a bed from one of the others that no one's using? All the ones I looked at with a bed felt creepy...

[Don't ask him where he'd been sleeping. Actually, don't ask him if he'd been sleeping at all.]

I'd need some help, too, if kidnapping a bed isn't like- dishonor on your family, you know?

Also, this is probably a long shot, but does this place have a gelato parlor?

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[ Nikolai laughs softly when Noah calls him dashing and charming, looking not the least bit humble or shy. He works hard to be both of those things, after all. He's pleased at his choice to keep his identity a secret. Compliments land differently when they come from someone who doesn't know he's got a crown back home. ]

Yes, well, that doesn't surprise me so much, if your first association with princes is 'dashing and charming', rather than 'foolish, selfish, and astonishingly cruel'.

[ Nikolai's smile shows just a touch of bitterness, for a moment. Unfortunately, royals who put any effort whatsoever into being charming are few and far between in his experience. Most of them are more like his older brother, Vasily - cold-hearted and empty-headed. Nikolai knows that, had circumstances been different, he might have turned out that way, too. But he's made it his life's work not to.

He glances back over his shoulder when Noah peeks into an apartment, seems to make an assessment, and then moves on. ]

Nearly.

[ Give or take a few years. He waves that off, asking: ]

May I ask - what was wrong with that last apartment?

[ There's no impatience in his voice, just curiosity. He hadn't noticed anything particularly wrong with it. The furniture hadn't been ugly, there hadn't been a lingering smell. So why the rejection? ]

Are there princes where you're from who're like that? Cruel and stuff?

[He knew royalty usually got a bad reputation--at least according to the history books--but surely all of them couldn't be dicks, right?]

My sisters are- uh, were- into cartoon princesses and princes. I don't think they're accurate to real royalty though, since it's for kids.

[By which he meant, of course the princes there were all charming and dashing. Something about teaching good examples to children, probably.

He was about to say something about Nikolai's age when he asked about the previous apartment. Noah tipped his head to the side, considering.]

It felt too creepy. I remembered it was one of the ones I'd checked out before.

[And he wasn't sure if there was actually something wrong with the apartment or if he was just letting his imagination run wild, but- he couldn't help but wonder what (if anything) would happen if he took a bed from a place that felt extra creepy. As opposed to one from an apartment that was just mildly creepy.]

[ Nikolai doesn't answer Noah right away. He is deciding, at this moment, how far he wants the lie to go. It's his own doing, of course. If he'd dropped the subject, Noah wouldn't be asking more questions about princes.

It's not that Nikolai has anything against lying. The truth is a very malleable thing. He's basically lying all the time, sometimes in little ways, sometimes in huge ones. But it's not something he typically does without a reason. There's nothing to be protected or gained here, by lying to this boy. It's just for novelty and fun. And there is potential, when the truth comes out, of causing unnecessary hurt feelings. Best to avoid that. ]

Some are like that. My brother was. I'm doing my best not to follow in those footsteps.

[ He gives a slightly lopsided smile, admitting: ]

Although technically I am a king, not a prince. Coronation was three years ago.

[ Hopefully, if Noah comes from a world where royalty isn't a part of everyday life, his manner towards Nikolai won't change all that much. Hopefully. ]

I'm afraid you're going to have to explain to me what 'cartoon' means, because whatever lovely magic is allowing me to hear your words in perfect Ravkan does not, unfortunately, go so far as to define unfamiliar terms.

[ Nikolai nods at the explanation about the room, though he wonders what exactly makes it creepy. Perhaps Noah can sense something he cannot? Perhaps that impression is founded on superstitions entirely alien to him. Not worth making a fuss over. ]

Well fair enough, there's certainly plenty of rooms to choose from.

Oh!

[Noah nearly tripped over his own two feet at the admission. He grinned, bright and sweet- he was clearly unbothered by the bit of deception. All of his friends at home had some sort of secret or another, after all.]

No wonder you're so handsome, then. I mean-! You look like a king, for sure.

[Was he blushing? A little. Also he had no idea how you were supposed to treat royalty, but Nikolai didn't seem snobby or anything, and he also didn't seem to have an issue with how Noah had been behaving so far, so...Noah was just going to keep on doing the same.]

Sorry your brother was, uh...less than stellar.

[Oh! Right, cartoons. It was easy for him to forget that he didn't know what was and wasn't common or even existed at all in other people's worlds.]

Right, right- wait, so I'm hearing you in English, then?

[Cartoons, Noah.]

So, cartoons are like...they're animated drawings. Like, the artists who make them draw each frame of motion- and yeah, they end up drawing like, thousands of frames- it's like a flip book, if you've ever seen one of those? Where there's a bunch of drawings and flipping fast enough makes it look like it's moving?

[Honestly, Noah was just relieved Nikolai didn't tease him or something. He was used to it from his friends back home.]

Exactly!

[He poked through the apartment he'd deemed 'okay' until he found the bedroom.]

I just- I didn't wanna risk a cursed bed or something.

[ Nikolai lets out a small, surprised laugh at that compliment. Of course, Noah has no way of knowing just how funny his words are. Nikolai's good looks are, after all, an almost perfect replica of his father's. His biological father, that is, who is decidedly not the former king of Ravka. Or any kind of royalty at all. Nikolai's handsome precisely because he's a bastard.

But he's not going to say that out loud, of course. His parentage may be an open secret in his own world, but that doesn't mean he's ever ever ever going to confirm it, apart from with his very closest allies. ]

I suppose I must look like one, since you guessed right away. But will you do me a favor, Noah? I'm trying to keep the whole royal situation discreet, while I'm here.

[ He sets one gloved finger to his lips, eyes still dancing with mirth. ]

Could we maybe keep this between us?

[ Nikolai knows people; he knows that a fast way to make friends is to give people a little secret of yours to keep. It makes them feel special for having the information, and inclined to help, especially since it asks very little actual work on their part.

Nikolai smiles at Noah, all hopeful and handsome. It's not that he's consciously trying to be manipulative. It's just that this is how his mind works. He had long ago deeply internalized the idea that no one would ever love him, and so he'd begun teaching himself strategies to make himself irresistibly charming to anyone and everyone.

He shrugs off the comment about Vasily, letting the matter drop there. There's not much about his brother's life or death that makes very pleasant conversation, so he'll spare Noah the details. Much more fascinating is the question of translation, as well as concepts from other worlds. ]

You must be, which is a marvel because I've never heard of a language called 'English'. But I do know about flip books! There was a soldier in my regiment who spent his free time drawing some that were decidedly not intended for kids.

[ He follows Noah into the apartment, back to the room with the bed in it. Nikolai approaches it, his head tilting to the side with interest as he takes it in. Very workable, he thinks. He drops to his knees without ceremony, examining it closely, trying to get a sense of where the various parts are joined together and what tools he'll need to deconstruct it. ]

No, nobody needs that. How does one recognize a cursed bed?

[ There's no teasing in his voice, only pure curiosity. For all he knows, curses are real and quite serious business in Noah's world. ]

[Noah smiled brightly.]

Of course! I'm good at keeping secrets, and I can only imagine how stressful it must be to be a king. Even if you're here.

[Away from a country to rule, he meant.

Besides, Nikolai had been nothing but nice to him so far, which mean Noah felt even more inclined to keep his secret. He also understood the importance of being able to tell someone something yourself and not having someone else spill the beans when you weren't ready.]

Oh!

[He perked up for a moment when Nikolai said he knew about flip books, faltering for a moment while 'not intended for kids' sank in. He couldn't help but laugh, even if he was a little flustered, too.]

I probably shouldn't be surprised about that.

[Where there was a will, there was a way, and all of that.

He watched Nikolai eyeing the bed, and then crouched down next to him, like he knew exactly what the pair of them were looking at and for what reason.]

I don't know, actually! But it's better to be safe than sorry, right?

[Noah didn't know if beds specifically could be cursed, but he knew general places could be--and people. Though he wasn't entirely sure if Blue was actually cursed or if it was just a series of unfortunate events that happened to line up just right.]

Yes, better safe than sorry. Exactly my philosophy.

[ Nikolai slaps his hands against his knees and stands up, seeming satisfied with his assessment of the bed frame's design. He gestures towards the bed, telling Noah: ]

Let's get the linens and mattress off, first, then we can start to take it apart.

[ He sets about the task without hesitation, stripping the bed and neatly folding blankets and sheets. For a king, he certainly seems comfortable with little domestic tasks such as this. The elastic of the fitted sheet does draw an odd look from him, but Nikolai doesn't let himself get derailed by it. ]

Anyway, that's quite enough talking about me for a little while. Tell me, what is it that young men do for fun in Henrietta? I have to admit, I'm very curious to hear about other worlds. Positively nosy.

Yeah, I've had enough of weird things and curses. A normal bed is just fine.

[Straightening up, Noah helped out with getting the bed stripped. As far as the fitted sheet went though- he saw that look. Nikolai might have moved on from it, but Noah wasn't going to.]

Fitted sheets are awful. I've never known anyone who can fold them without it looking like they just decided to crumple it up into a ball.

[He was perfectly happy to talk about what people did for fun in Henrietta...though he was absolutely certain Gansey was an outlier and should not be counted with the others.]

I'm not sure that counts as nosy. [He smiled brightly.] Just a healthy curiosity.

Mmm, let's see. Parties, lots of parties. One of my friends street races. [Okay, maybe he shouldn't mention the actually illegal things-] Uh- hm. It's a small town there's not really a lot to do.

So you have a lot of experience with curses, then?

[ Nikolai can't help but be intrigued. It would explain Noah's caution around choosing the right bed from the right apartment. So Nikolai prompts him, gently, eyebrows raised with interest. ]

Ah, is that what this is called? A 'fitted' sheet. I've never seen one before. It does seem rather unwilling to be neat.

[ With the sheets, pillows, and mattress all removed, they can get to work on the bed frame. Nikolai sits on the floor, finding the first set of screws he would need to take out. He begins loosening one as Noah talks about Henrietta. Curious - this is the second time Noah has answered by giving some detail about a friend rather than himself. His friend who worked too much, his friend who street races... add to that the fact that Noah really doesn't seem like he's trying to conceal anything. Just like he is, perhaps, not all that used to talking about himself. ]

By the sound of it my friend Genya would love it there. She's extremely fond of parties.

[ He has the first screw out and sets it down carefully in his bag. Nikolai doesn't want to lose anything that they'll need to put the bed back together. ]

Have you lived there your whole life?

Something like that, yeah. I definitely wouldn't say I'm an expert but like- cursed places? Yup, been there. Cursed people? Yup, I know them.

[And even without those things, Noah was pretty cautious- at least since he'd become a ghost, anyway.]

Yeah! The elastic is supposed to make it stay on the mattress, and it does do that, but it's also a huge pain for like, folding it...or putting it on in the first place.

[He'd definitely struggled with getting a fitted sheet aligned right on a bed, he just couldn't say how many times because he really couldn't remember.

He crouched down again so he could watch what Nikolai was doing.]

I've been told the parties are pretty great. But I haven't been to one in a long time, myself.

[Though he could remember going to parties, before, and enjoying them.]

Mmm, yeah. As far as I can remember.

[ Nikolai can't help but wonder if Noah would consider him a cursed person, if he knew the facts. Probably. All the more reason to smile and feign utter ignorance. ]

I don't know, sounds like you're at least halfway to becoming an expert, if you ask me. You said you know cursed people - what sorts of curses? I'm terribly curious.

[ Not aimlessly curious, either. It's useful information for him to have, just how Noah talks about these cursed people. But Nikolai keeps any particular interest out of his voice or face, asking as if it's just idle interest. ]

Well, we'll have to change that, here. Throw a great party that you can attend.

Mmmm.

[Was it okay to talk about Blue's curse? She wasn't here to tell him whether or not it was okay to share, after all, and he didn't like spilling other people's business...but he didn't think it exactly counted as a secret, so...]

My friend- she's always been told that if she were to kiss her true love, he would die. Soooo...cursed. But it's not very specific beyond that, you know?

[He shrugged.]

Oh- um-

[The idea of going to a party was both interesting and terrifying. What was he supposed to do with himself around so many people? He didn't even know how to dance!]

Maybe, yeah. I guess it wouldn't be like, bad or anything.

[ Nikolai actually stops disassembling the bed, looking over at Noah and blinking in surprise. His friend's curse doesn't sound at all like what Nikolai had been expecting.

(And some part of him registers, with a surprising amount of relief, that Noah still counts this cursed girl as one of his friends, in spite of the fact that she's cursed. That's reassuring.) ]

That's surprisingly devious. How is she even supposed to know who her true love is?

[ Zoya is always teasing Nikolai for his romantic streak, but even he doesn't believe in love at first sight. And as for something as nebulous as a 'true love', well, how the hell is anyone supposed to really know if they've found that person? ]

If she can't be sure, that makes the prospect of kissing anyone at all rather dangerous, doesn't it?

[ He goes back to loosening the screws, managing to get one of the legs of the bed free and setting it aside so he can move on to another. Noah's tepid response to his offer brings a wry smile to Nikolai's lips. ]

Not exactly the most enthusiastic response I've ever heard.

I know, right? And it's so vague, like, what's going to happen to her true love, exactly, when she kisses him? It might not even be her fault, at all!

[He'd also tried, once, to convince Blue it might just be a coincidence, like, she kissed her true love and something totally random happened to the guy- but she hadn't been enthused.]

But yeah, she just...she doesn't kiss anybody.

[And he knew it had caused problems between Blue and Adam, but he also knew that she'd just been being cautious- among other things.]

Oh! I just...I'm not sure what I'd do around so many people. I don't even know how to dance and I'm pretty sure that's a big part of parties.

[If it was just being socially awkward and drinking, though, well...he could handle drinking, at least.]

[ Nikolai considers it. It hadn't occurred to him at first, how the open-ended nature of the curse could make it even worse. With specificity, there is at least certainty. But something as broad as that would leave so much doubt. ]

Of course there are worse fates, but all the same... I can see how it would be distressing. Who would lay that kind of curse on a young woman? Was it a rival of hers?

[ He is making an assumption without even realizing it: that a curse must come from a particular malicious source. His own curse (if his affliction even counts as curse according to Noah's parameters) had been targeted and highly personal. ]

Some parties, yes, but certainly not all of them. Plenty are more about conversation, or games, or enjoying a meal together. Depends on the occasion.

[ Nikolai can't understand Noah's hesitation, but he recognizes that his upbringing was a fairly unusual one. Large, formal social events had been an unavoidable part of his life since the day he was born. He'd learned to dance as soon as he was able to walk.

He is making good progress on the bed frame as they speak. Nikolai has unscrewed all but one join and is neatly setting aside all the components. When he comes to the last one, however, he encounters a bit of an issue. One tiny nail is stuck. It's too small for any of his tools. Nikolai can tell that it just needs one good tug and he'll have it out. He tries half a dozen times, but he can't get a grip on it with his gloved fingers. The fabric is too thick and too smooth, and he manages to get it even more badly stuck fumbling at it through them.

Exhaling a short sigh of annoyance, Nikolai makes a snap decision. He could, of course, have asked Noah to try to get it free. That would probably be the wise thing to do. But Nikolai's irritated, now. He's annoyed at the nail for being stuck and annoyed at the gloves for getting in the way and annoyed at the fact that he's wearing them in the first place. With a tiny, telling glance at Noah first, he tugs the glove from his right hand, dropping it to the floor. The skin of his hand is covered in strange markings. His fingertips and nails are pitch black; black-stained scars wind up his fingers and along his palm and the back of his hand. It is especially clear when Nikolai moves his hand, to get that troublesome nail, that they are scars rather than tattoos of some sort.

Nikolai keeps his eyes on the nail, though some part of his mind can't help listening carefully. For what? A gasp of disgust? He pushes the thought away, focusing on wiggling the tiny nail free. ]

[Noah made a thoughtful noise while he considered that.]

I think she was born with it. Apparently, she's known like, all her life.

[And he felt like that sort of thing would give someone a complex, or something. He wasn't sure that was the proper word for it. He knew it was distressing and frustrating not knowing if anyone was safe to kiss--because she'd told him as much. And really, he couldn't blame her. He'd probably have made kissing off-limits too, if he'd been in her position.]

Mmm, that's a good point, actually. Most of the parties I've been have been loud music and drinking and dancing. It's easy to forget there are other kinds of parties, too.

[He watched quietly for a moment, and he could tell Nikolai was getting frustrated with the little nail. Noah almost offered to help--almost because, before he got a chance to even open his mouth, Nikolai was taking one of his gloves off. And Noah--his brow furrowed. He didn't so much stare as he did study the marks. He'd never seen anything like that before, but it was absolutely easy to realize why Nikolai wore gloves in the first place. Was he self-conscious or was he expecting other people to be cruel?

His voice was quiet when he spoke.]

What happened? I mean- you don't have to tell me, I know we've only known each other like- I dunno, not long. But I promise I'm not- I'm not a dick.

[And he would respect it if Nikolai told him to drop it.]

Born cursed? So unlucky.

[ Which is worse, Nikolai wonders - growing up always knowing there is something she can never have, or it coming as a surprise later on? Neither option is great. ]

This friend of yours... is she someone you would want to be kissing, if that were possible?

[ One can never assume, after all. Noah's voice is warm when he speaks about her, but that had been the case when he mentioned his workaholic friend, too. Probably he is just a warm person whose fondness shines out like that, without him even realizing it.

Nikolai is confident when it comes to his ability to read people and get a good sense of their character. Noah has been nothing but sweet, and shy, and a bit uncertain this entire time. So when, inevitably, Noah asks about his scars, Nikolai doesn't feel even a flicker of annoyance. ]

Of course you're not, Noah.

[ Nikolai has a philosophy, when it comes to his own weakness. He's always believed it is best to show vulnerability when others need to see it, not when he is actually feeling it. It's just another tool he can use to be a strong and effective leader.

So the right move, the wise move, would be to play this off as nothing all that serious. Act like the gloves are to protect his vanity alone. But the problem is, he can't seem to force his body to comply. His fake laugh gets lodged in his throat, so that the silence stretches on too long to pretend it's no big deal.

And what will he even say? Certainly, he isn't going to tell Noah the truth - that the marks are a reminder of the time he was transformed into a mindless, ravenous, murderous monster by a man who considered it the cruelest way he could torture Nikolai. Noah had been creeped out by a few empty apartments! If he ever finds out about what the Darkling did to Nikolai, he'll probably be terrified of him.

But he's not so sure that the usual lie will do, either. Noah's world sounds so different to Nikolai's. When Nikolai was Noah's age he was fighting Fjerdans on the battlefield; Noah talks about school, and parties, and animation.

He keeps his eyes on the pesky nail as he painstakingly wiggles it free. ]

I'd rather not go into the specifics, but not because we haven't known each other long or because I think you'd be rude or anything like that. It's just... not a very nice story.

[ All of which is him stalling. Nikolai pries the little nail out, sitting back and looking at it pinched between his scarred fingers. The truth is, the gloves aren't just for others. He doesn't much like looking at his hands, either.

Nikolai finally meets Noah's gaze and forces a small smile that doesn't reach his hazel eyes. He settles on something that is not a lie at all. It is just the truth told in its barest, simplest form. ]

Someone hurt me.

[ He drops the small nail near the other screws and brackets he's removed and reaches for his discarded glove. ]

Edited 2023-12-18 19:28 (UTC)

[Noah blushed, faint but there. How did he begin to explain things? If he said he had, actually, kissed Blue, he would likely have to also talk about how he'd been a ghost and so had been in no danger of keeling over. He knew he hadn't been her true love, anyway, despite being pretty sure he'd been Blue's first kiss.]

I...would, yeah. I would have asked her out, if I could have.

[And she would have said yes; she'd told him as much.

Honestly, he was probably at least a little attracted to all of his friends, and though Blue had been a recent addition to the friend group, he felt like they'd hit it off right from the start.

After that, though, he waited. Quiet, patient. He had absolutely no desire to rush Nikolai into an answer, especially since Noah was pretty sure, even before it was confirmed, that the scars weren't from something nice. Though, were scars ever from something nice?

Noah smiled sadly when Nikolai looked at him. He didn't blame him whatsoever for not wanting to talk about it.]

I'm sorry. Someone hurt me once, too.

[He couldn't help but reach up and touch his own cheek, fingers pressing against the spot where the damage had been obvious when he'd been unable to keep his living appearance, as a ghost. He didn't have to worry about that here, but that didn't mean the trauma had gone anywhere. It was still etched into every single fiber of his being.]

No one deserves to experience something like that.

[ Nikolai can hear, he thinks, a note of melancholy in Noah's voice. Interesting, that he says he couldn't have asked her out. That makes it sound as if there had been some tangible impediment. Nikolai doesn't press for details; there are dozens of different reasons why such a thing would have been impossible. He can see the touch of pink in Noah's cheeks and really, when it's all said and done, he doesn't want to make Noah uncomfortable.

He isn't sure what response he was expecting to his extremely brief explanation about the scars. Maybe for Noah to try to coax more information from him - that had happened plenty of times, with people both well-meaning and just plain nosy. Or maybe for Noah to go all fawning and sympathetic, in that cloying way that always made Nikolai's skin crawl. Or maybe he'd expected for Noah to tell him to pull himself together, that he couldn't afford to linger on the past.

But instead, Noah is just... quiet, with that little sad smile on his face. Like he actually gets it. Nikolai swallows, hating how much even that small offer of understanding makes his chest ache. He wants to say something back, but his throat is suddenly tight. He can tell that if he speaks now, his voice will crack or something embarrassing like that.

So he just nods, pulling his glove back on and tugging it into place, flexing his hand so that the fabric sits snugly against his skin. When he's tamped down that swell of emotion enough, he says: ]

Thank you. I'm sorry that you-

[ Nikolai makes a small gesture with his hand between the two of them. He isn't going to ask what had happened to Noah, as much as he might wonder. Not today, anyway. ]

That we have this in common.

[ He clears his throat, getting briskly to his feet and focusing all of his attention on the final steps to disassemble the bed. Or at least, pretending to. Nikolai is able to detach the final piece now that the nail is out, and he breaks down the last part of the frame quickly, setting aside the parts neatly.

Before he's even decided to say it, the words slip out. ]

If you ever want to talk to someone about it, I'll listen. Just keep it in mind.

[ Then he claps his hands together, forcibly closing the matter, and says: ]

Now, let's start carrying the pieces back to your apartment so we can put them together again, shall we?

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Video | un: czerny

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