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@DONQUIXOT3, video (free for all, really)
[ let those wounds heal and come clean--to everyone, angela had told her.
well. the wounds won't heal for some time, as many as there are, but she fears they never will 'til she does the latter. but it's hard, it's difficult, and there are many more who have not even thought about it... such a possibility is ever in the back of one's mind, of disappearing as althea had done, as gregor and roland and gebura, as the young ken amada and so many more--
but no one really stops to think about it until it happens. their population has dwindled, month by month, without a word.
the background is colorful and a myriad of various crafts, not her own room at home (home, what a funny concept it is to call such here, and yet--) but at the host club of which she works. don quixote is not here to advertise her space nor is she here to show off some new craft, and everything from the oversized sweater she wears to the attempt at a bright smile despite the darkness under her eyes speaks to those even who may have met her once that something isn't quite right today. she's always a cheerful, upbeat girl to any she meets, any she passes or knows,
just not today. ]
Ahem! Kehm. Good day to thee all, new faces and old. I am Don Quixote, holder of several positions and jobs both here and in the world I hail from; it is alright if we have yet to meet, but prithee do not retire just yet! I have something I wish to speak to thee about... something that is quite important, and shall perhaps change the way thy time here is spent.
[ ... huuuuf. okay. ]
Some months ago, perhaps four hence, I found myself upon the train as if I had died -- and I can assure thee, as one who has died purposefully before, it was the same but different. With my return, I found I had gained many new memories and experiences... as if I had gone back to my world and lived it, from the very moment I had left. Those who were here still appeared and acted as they ought there, without a word about this city, this world, and... in truth--
I did not recall this city whatsoever when I was gone from it and remembered my time only once I had returned.
[ shot out, without a pause save the stumble before, and don holds the gaze of her device a moment before exhaling. ]
To those whom I lied to, I am sorry. It was not my intention to hurt thee, nor to give false hope unduly, but I did not want any to think their time here meaningless simply because one does not remember it. I am certain there must be a way that we may-- we may keep them, or to leave our mark upon the world in hopes of jogging our memories should we find ourselves in the same circumstance, just as others have left theirs with pictures, with scratches in tables and walls, and-- and so on! But... I do not know, so I only wished to be honest and frank. For it is only once we are armed with knowledge that may we be able to solve a problem, or so I am told.
[ ... and she wanted to come clean, too. for herself. it's a lot easier like this than doing it one on one, she finds, not having to worry about the other's reaction so soon, though she shrinks a little all the same. ]
I am not the only one who has experienced this coming and going, that I know for certain, but I understand if it may sound unbelievable, or that one may wish to deny it. Do what comforts thee best, but know that what I say is true -- and allow this space to be one in which we may exchange ideas to ensure that these memories of ours last beyond our time spent here.
[ and,
as tempting as it is just to close off completely and throw herself back into her work without further replies, she'll still very much be around. for better or worse. ]
well. the wounds won't heal for some time, as many as there are, but she fears they never will 'til she does the latter. but it's hard, it's difficult, and there are many more who have not even thought about it... such a possibility is ever in the back of one's mind, of disappearing as althea had done, as gregor and roland and gebura, as the young ken amada and so many more--
but no one really stops to think about it until it happens. their population has dwindled, month by month, without a word.
the background is colorful and a myriad of various crafts, not her own room at home (home, what a funny concept it is to call such here, and yet--) but at the host club of which she works. don quixote is not here to advertise her space nor is she here to show off some new craft, and everything from the oversized sweater she wears to the attempt at a bright smile despite the darkness under her eyes speaks to those even who may have met her once that something isn't quite right today. she's always a cheerful, upbeat girl to any she meets, any she passes or knows,
just not today. ]
Ahem! Kehm. Good day to thee all, new faces and old. I am Don Quixote, holder of several positions and jobs both here and in the world I hail from; it is alright if we have yet to meet, but prithee do not retire just yet! I have something I wish to speak to thee about... something that is quite important, and shall perhaps change the way thy time here is spent.
[ ... huuuuf. okay. ]
Some months ago, perhaps four hence, I found myself upon the train as if I had died -- and I can assure thee, as one who has died purposefully before, it was the same but different. With my return, I found I had gained many new memories and experiences... as if I had gone back to my world and lived it, from the very moment I had left. Those who were here still appeared and acted as they ought there, without a word about this city, this world, and... in truth--
I did not recall this city whatsoever when I was gone from it and remembered my time only once I had returned.
[ shot out, without a pause save the stumble before, and don holds the gaze of her device a moment before exhaling. ]
To those whom I lied to, I am sorry. It was not my intention to hurt thee, nor to give false hope unduly, but I did not want any to think their time here meaningless simply because one does not remember it. I am certain there must be a way that we may-- we may keep them, or to leave our mark upon the world in hopes of jogging our memories should we find ourselves in the same circumstance, just as others have left theirs with pictures, with scratches in tables and walls, and-- and so on! But... I do not know, so I only wished to be honest and frank. For it is only once we are armed with knowledge that may we be able to solve a problem, or so I am told.
[ ... and she wanted to come clean, too. for herself. it's a lot easier like this than doing it one on one, she finds, not having to worry about the other's reaction so soon, though she shrinks a little all the same. ]
I am not the only one who has experienced this coming and going, that I know for certain, but I understand if it may sound unbelievable, or that one may wish to deny it. Do what comforts thee best, but know that what I say is true -- and allow this space to be one in which we may exchange ideas to ensure that these memories of ours last beyond our time spent here.
[ and,
as tempting as it is just to close off completely and throw herself back into her work without further replies, she'll still very much be around. for better or worse. ]
private | video | username: fearnie
( the question comes as lightly as she can manage, delicate in that way nature can be after a storm. does she feel better for it? worse? these tiny little screens really are just so terrible to extrapolate these sorts of things, but she's uncertain if she wants company if she's decided to opt for the device rather than gather people for the conversation.
she can't imagine the lie being an easy one to admit to after letting it sit for as long as they have. it's a secret she's held her tongue over even to angela, unwilling to trample over the budding hope it brought them. but don's always been stronger than her in these sorts of convictions. almost unfathomably so.
a distraction might not be what she wants considering she lingers on the line, but she's not sure how else to proceed while ignoring a guilt of her own. )
Have you thought about what sort of mark you want to leave?
no subject
[ even if undoubtedly this won't erase the good she has done -- the people she's met, the times they're shared, even the strand of hope her lie gave to those who needed it... it still feels so big.
that isn't fair. don shakes her head. ]
Perhaps something to show who has been here. It would be useful to mark the City in a way that we would recall it ourselves, if our fates are not utter elimination to the core of our beings.
no subject
( the stress test thing or whatever. it'd be a good time to see what sticks and what doesn't. it seems more like they're going for active destruction though, so maybe not?
not to mention it's not anything they'd see if they were released from this experiment, somehow. is that even in the cards? what if this is it? )
...
( just because she's curious. )
Do you still want to leave, knowing we might forget?
no subject
[ for all that justice means now. the second question is easy to answer though, with a shake of her head. ]
It is not a matter of want, Miss Fearne. I must return even if I should forget.
no subject
Why didn't you just call me!
( hm. at least she's made no secret as to where she is. she can make an impromptu visit to the host club. )
no subject
[ what a lie. scratched up. sure. ]
They are cleaned and bandaged; it is not like before, I am in no danger of dying.
no subject
Scratches are enough to stop you from doin' stuff all of a sudden?
( c'mon, now. where's the don who breaks doors down without hesitation? )
no subject
The... placement is what makes it difficult!
[ (sweating profusely) ]
no subject
Sounds annoying, but not a hard fix. ( because she's so good at her job and all. ) Anything you want me to bring over?
no subject
[ there, she said it. ]
no subject
Why not?
( at this point, it's not a hard thing to guess that the injuries are more than just a few scratches. but don doesn't want her to see or help. why? )
no subject
[ you know, honorably and all. ]
I am taking care of them. They are not infected. There are many, and I am willing to show thee the extent of it so long as there is not a healing touch to thy name.
no subject
the furrow of her brow remains, but it's now paired with a frown. )
You think being physically hurt is, what, atonement somehow?
( that's insane actually. )
What good does that do, to have you too hurt to do much? Is that what they asked you to do so they'd forgive you?
no subject
[ ... a sigh. fearne may not understand, especially as one who can heal without a second thought -- but don understands that, too. since she can die without a second thought. it seems impossible to wonder why anyone wouldn't want to be healed from what ails them, just as it seems impossible to wonder why anyone would hesitate to take a blow for another. ]
But I want for it, my friend. Do not take what I feel I must endure from me, that is all I ask. They do not trouble me much, for if they did I swear upon all that is good in the world that Young Sinclair would not let me leave as I have -- if thee do not trust my word, can thee not trust him? I am not bed ridden.