{ video } ; un: elfuegobandito

[bitchndiagnosis]

[ The video feed opens on a medium shot inside of an apartment. Straight down the barrel of the lens shows the middle of the living room. There is a brown suede couch that sits at the back of the wall. A mahogany coffee that stands right in front of it. On top of said coffee table is a paper cup with a plastic top lid.

There is silence for about two beats before someone’s voice speaks out from behind the camera. ]

Has anyone seen The Matrix?

[ An audible thump of a rubber stump, hitting against wooden flooring before it reveals a walking cane, then the source of the voice. Dr. House enters the shot, gripping the head of the cane in one hand, and a scrap of paper in the other. ]

“Denial is the most predictable of all human responses!” Or something like that. I was in it more for the guns and tight leather!

[ He wiggles his brows, settling himself on the couch. His cane leans against the arm of the seat. ]

And here I was hoping my delusions would’ve at least upgraded my television to HD. Too much fuzz around Keanu Reeve’s bee-hind.

[ Ah, well. C’est la vie. You might ask yourself, “Who is this man?” or “What’s his deal?” Well, let’s get on to brass tax — ]

Which brings me to my next question: How does a medical doctor find themself in an unnamed city with no hospital in sight? [ A beat. Brows raised. ] Now I really know my psyche is messing with me. Wished for my clinic hours to go away, but they’ve taken all the fun stuff away? That doesn’t sound like me at all.

[ He shakes his head while donning the fakest wry smile. ]

Ah, well. Really hope no one gets seriously injured. That’d be a darn shame.

[ With that, he grabs the head of his cane and jabs the device. The feed doesn’t go off. Rather, the device falls back with the camera lens facing the ceiling. ]

Oh, you’re going in the dumpster first thing in the morning.

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video; un: thevampirelestat

[perfectdevil]

[ Lestat switches on his camera and reveals himself in all his 80s rockstar finest, complete with too much leather and too much nipple on show. He grins at the camera without bothering to do so in a way that hides his fangs. ]

Whoever said that has a point; denial is much easier than acceptance, and humans love anything that’s easy.

[ If there’s an innuendo in there, he either doesn’t notice it or is being very coy about it, as he tosses his hair over a shoulder in a way that’s more dramatic than it is casual. ]

Though in a place like this, the longer you hold on to denial, the more you’re risking a nasty surprise later down the line.

[bitchndiagnosis]

[ The opulent rockstar get-up doesn’t make House bat an eye. Maybe it’s because he’s had his fair share of weirdos in the clinic who are neck-deep in their emo-vampire phase. Black eyeliner, septum rings, velvet capes…the works.

…Well, okay. He takes one glance. The leather-to-nipple ratio is a real sight to behold. ]

Wow. That’s like wicked deep, dude.

[ He knows Lestat is agreeing with him. It’s just second nature for House to, ironically, deny and push back. Since the incident at the diner, he learned that lesson the hard way. Everything about this city is irrational and yet he is still recovering from the nausea and small bits of frostbite on his hands. ]

Sorry — Are we talking about my denial or your denial for shirts? I’m having trouble keeping tabs.

[perfectdevil]

[ Lestat blinks, then bursts into a peal of laughter as loud as a church bell. ]

Denial for shirts- [ He pats a hand on his marble-white chest as if calming a heart racing with amusement. Quite the opposite, actually, at least as far as the heart-rate goes. ] That’s very funny, monsieur!

[ He sounds genuine, at least, even going so far as to wipe away a pinkish tear that’s welled up in the corner of his eye. ]

It’s less denial for shirts that afflicts me as it is finding novelty in one’s lack of them being acceptable. There was once a time a man couldn’t show his forearms in polite company without being considered some sort of cad, you know.

[bitchndiagnosis]

Yeah. I know the feeling.

[ His tone is a little too accepting of Lestat’s former remark. But that’s only because he doesn’t believe that the man speaking on the other side is someone right from a Bram Stoker novel.

As if the absurdity of House’s situation isn’t enough. Even after the train, the empty chairs & tables in every building, the free apartment, and the colourful cast of characters that he’s brushed shoulders with — his skepticism keeps pulling him back in. ]

Tried going to church in a short-sleeved polo and garter belt. And I still got scolded for not shaving. Pssh — 17th-century patriarchy, am I right?!

[perfectdevil]

[ Lestat's expression is bemused, but his confusion definitely leans toward amusement rather than any kind of annoyance. This man doesn't look like he's from the 17th century, after all, but then neither does Lestat.

That and, at the end of the day, Lestat is definitely a fuck it let's go with it kind of guy. ]

I still have quite the soft spot for clothes of the period — the lace, the shoes, the cut of the clothing and the vibrant colours, you know — but waking from The Great Depression, so aptly named if you ask me, to the sights and sounds and fashion of the 80s was something world-shaking, believe me. [ He continues, conversationally, as if this is a relatable situation to be in: ] I don't think I could ever go back to a frock-coat and cravat.