text; @The Seventh Crown of the Seventh Demon King;

[unrequite]

[ Four lines of text. ]

This is written in Victorian.
Kore wa Laterano-ji Higashi-go de kakareteimasu.
This is written in Higashinese.
This written by in Yanese. (Might be bad. Sorry.)

Please do let me know how many of these sentences you understand.

[ The first is in what would be considered Earth English, the second is what would be known as Japanese written in Romaji, but he's called it "Laterano-ji Higashinese". The third was written in Japanese, the fourth was written in some rather poor Chinese. He's called the languages themselves clearly incorrect names. What's more important, though, is that only the second one should parse as phonetic, and should only be understandable to fellow Japanese speakers. The rest are in whatever language is most understandable to whoever reads it. Funny, huh? This city sure is strange! ]

Comments

text. @kaveh

[fussiest]

I've three out of the four, but the second one resembles a little like Inazuman. I just don't speak it.
Ah, but I know someone who does. Give me a moment.

[fussiest]

[ a few moments later - ]

And there he is.
I apologise by the way. Not for me, but for him. But he has enough languages crammed into the silly block of his head that I figure he'd be some sort of useful. Goodness knows he has no use anywhere else.

[unrequite]

Thank you, darling. You seem terribly fond of him.

[ This is both a joke and a genuine observation. ]

[fussiest]

[ why is it always calling kaveh out hours ]

The way mildew grows on you, perhaps, or a terrible-looking statue that you know is offensive to the senses, but which you've been forced to stare at for such a long time in close proximity that you can't help but grow fond out of sheer self-defense.

[unrequite]

And yet you've decided to inflict this sensational curse of a man upon me. Either I've committed some grave sin against you, or, in spite of your colorful list of this man's failings, you like him well enough to entrust someone you've just met to his tender mercies. If it's neither, you've some issues to work through, love.

[ Actually, he's of the opinion that it's probably a buffet of all three columns, but that's just the human condition at work. ]

[fussiest]

Midnight, friend, you have called me enough pet names that the local animal shelter must be wondering where their usual animals have gone. Have you considered the premise that the two great annoyances in this city and my life deserve each other? Given how you are an unstoppable force and he is an immovable one, I'm standing outside the blast radius with a clipboard to see how this will affect reality as we know it.

[ and then, because it's kaveh: ]

Have you had water in the last twenty-four hours? Be honest.

[unrequite]

Weighty titles for a man who's done nothing but tell you how cute you are. :(

[ He doesn't want condescension, he doesn't want compliments... Is there no pleasing Kaveh of Sumeru!? ]

I drink water when I exercise, and I exercise every day. Is that enough for you, my keeper?

[ And it's enough! Usually. He just... he forgets. Sometimes. Not all the time! ]

[fussiest]

Clearly not, if I've the blood-pressure for it. I'm just getting started, Midnight. By the time I've finished, I intend on you not even being able to look at a bottle of water without it jumping out and trying to drown you.
To respond to your earlier allegations: actually, I may have just met you a paltry few times, but in those times, I've seen more than I really ought to have.
What are you doing right now? What brought about this topic, and is it linked to language crimes?

goodness me how did i lose this motherfuckin tag

[unrequite]

Seen more than you should? I'm not sure what you mean by that, but I wouldn't mind if you caught an eyeful more of me than I realize you have. Even if you catch me figuring out and then committing a language crime. Looking is free. <3

it was buried under a marital spat... im so sorry face in hands

[fussiest]

Midnight.

more like i just straight up deleted it somehow... anyway, please, i love messy drama

[unrequite]

Yes, my love?

[ He is not purposefully avoiding the question. This is just more fun. ]

[fussiest]

You!
This isn't even language crimes at this point - you're just crime against language.
What manner of trouble are you trying to get into this time, and to which deity am I supposed to appeal to to talk you out of it? Be honest, or serious. One of the two. Even I recognise that it's a little much to ask you to be both those things at once, you might sprain something.

[unrequite]

I was just curious, darling. I like to learn. Do you believe me?

[ This is why no one takes you seriously, Midnight... ]

[justscribing]

I'm curious to know why you keep trying to connect me to other people if you're going to immediately regret it. Instead of pointless apologizing, why don't you reign in your own impulsiveness?

[Kaveh is literally in the same apartment. Alhaitham was reading off his phone five minutes ago.]

[fussiest]

[ across the fucking room: ]

He called you a sensational curse. Why must I regret something to apologise for it? In fact, I'm hardly regretful at all - I merely apologised because someone needs to apologise for you and it certainly wouldn't be you.

[justscribing]

You're mistaken if you think I care what he thinks of me.

[If Alhaitham had any shame he wouldn't feud on public message boards while making a dull expression at Kaveh across the room.]

And since you're not me, apologizing in my place is meaningless. Of course, that describes a lot of what you do.

[fussiest]

[ there it is, a cool scowl shot right back like a returning arrow. ]

Excuse you, I am being helpful. And if that means applying you to the problem, then that needs be what happens even if you're terribly rude about it.
You wouldn't know what proper courtesy is if someone wrapped it in a bow and threw it in your face.

[justscribing]

You also didn't need to do that because I would have found this posting eventually.

Do you ever get tired of acting responsible for things that have nothing to do with you?

[fussiest]

No, I don't, actually.
And I will do it again. Sorry to be you.

[justscribing]

[This is normally where he would be petty and refuse to pay for Kaveh's drinks but... this is a moraless land and he is no longer paying for Kaveh's drinks.

He can glare from across the room though.]

There's no point arguing this with you. Instead of acting like you need to mind me, mind yourself.

[fussiest]

[ kaveh, at the pinnacle of maturity, flings back a terribly rude gesture. ]

Rich! Coming from the individual who stuck his nose into a conversation that wasn't for him! Who's going around reading my apologies to other people entirely unprompted? Was I speaking to you??
Pot, kettle, Alhaitham. Who is minding whom? Telling you to mind yourself more ought to be my line.

[unrequite]

Girls, please, you're both pretty. Or, more to point, this is an intervention.

[ If a boatload of strangers are willing to rescue Midnight from his own inebriated ass on the network, the very least he can do is at least point out that this conversation is in a public venue. ]

[justscribing]

[If only the problem was that Alhaitham didn't think about this being public, rather than that he just didn't care that it was public.]

Our conversation is already done. I have nothing more to say to him.

[On the network, anyway.]

[unrequite]

He seems to disagree, but more power to you, love.

[ Honestly, this is Midnight's work done. He's actually having a great time snooping. ]

[fussiest]

[ from the other end of the room, equally shameless: ]

Midnight!
Do you see what I have to put up with?
In what way ought I have conducted myself that wouldn't have elicited such a reaction from him! And this is when the topic at hand is something of interest to him! Can you imagine when the topic isn't really, but he's still the best person to speak of it? He's impossible!