citynet | Video | UN: Ouroborosed -- Subject: AMA

[Crowley flips on the camera before sitting back in an office chair in his usual slouch. Behind him is the backdrop of one of the labyrinthine office buildings, the shades of beige and grey a sharp contrast to his black clothes and red hair. There is a peculiar tension about him, something about the way he's square his shoulders, and the considerable supply of unopened bottles next to him suggests there is some need for the liquid courage.]

Right then. The mall here, yeah? Only marginally worse than the normal kind. And hey, at least we'll never have to deal with the Boxing Day rush, eh?

...That'd be analogous to Black Friday for all you Americans. I don't know if there's a Canadian equivalent. Never stuck around long enough to find out. Saw a moose once and decided that place could just be someone else's problem.

[He shuffles uncomfortably.]

Okay. Yeah. Enough small talk. Time to rip the bandaid off.

[Deep breaths, Crowley.]

So the thing I was worried about happening? ...Happened. For the exact reason and in the exact way I thought it would happen. I'm sure I'll look back and laugh about it one day, but right now I'd like to get ahead of it happening again. No more fun little surprise exorcisms. At least none that I won't see coming.

So, here we go. Let's get this over with.

I'm a literal demon from literal Hell - yes that one - and their former operative of Earth, presently retired.

Ask me anything.

[He's already popping the top off the tequila. He's going to need it.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

In my case, it's a fancy word for 'fired'. No longer with the organization, so to speak.

I just happened to have a comfortable existence on Earth to settle into rather than an eternity mucking out the dung pits.

Oh. Well that's... good?

I mean, both from a 'person that would assumedly be affected by demons' point of view and a 'at least being fired didn't mess things up too bad' point of view, that seems good?

It is what it is. I'm sure they'll find some way to muck things up for me down the lines. That's sort of the whole point.

What do you mean by affected by demons? The forces of Hell nipping at your heels?

Well, if demons want to make things bad for you, that probably means you're on the alright side in my book.

Oh, no, I just meant that I assume demons mess with humans or something? I guess I don't know how that changes between universes or whatever magical... pocket space we're in. The only angels and the opposite I know of where I'm from were only that in name, I think.

I mean, demons tend to make things bad for everyone, including each other. No, I don't actually know why, beyond committing to the bit. Makes no sense when you actually think about it though; we're horrible to each other because why? The Almighty said we're evil, yeah? Why are we doing what She said then? What was the whole Rebellion about if we're just going to keep doing as we're told?

But yeah, I love messing with humans. Love messing with anything really, it's all good fun. I don't do anything that'll cause lasting damage though; you lot get on just fine with that on your own.

Why would those on your side be angels and demons in name only? Is it a roleplay thing? Or just people being pretentious?

That... makes a lot of sense, when you put it like that, huh. Er, I mean what you're saying makes sense, the reasoning doesn't make sense. Not that I would really know: I just thought it was a story meant to keep people in line, and even then it didn't really make sense, but asking questions tended to make people mad.

Ah, like pranks almost. Unless that's rude to say, then way more serious than pranks! But.. yeah, people are pretty terrible all on their own, huh?

Uh... well, they had powers, so it wasn't a roleplay thing, but it does sound pretty pretentious now that you're pointing it out, haha. I guess I just meant they weren't angelic or demonic in the biblical sense, so that's the only reference point I have for your revelation. You definitely seem fine to me compared to some of them! :)

If you're making people mad, then you're asking the right questions I reckon. Just watch your back. Being even a mild inconvenience can have some alarming consequences sneak up on you.

No, yeah, you're right; they're mostly pranks. And yeah, some people can be pretty terrible. Some can be pretty great. It's mostly a mixed bag with you lot though. That's why I like it here. Well, not here here. Earth. Mortals. You're always full of surprises.

Were they like the people here who have powers? I've seen quite a few; way past the statistical average that occurs in my world.

Ugh, that's the truth. I try to avoid being any sort of inconvenience to others, but some people like to try and find an inconvenience in anyone. ESPECIALLY in those sorts of topics, it feels like, but maybe I'm biased.

Huh. I never really understood pranks, but I also didn't really grow up in a place where they happened. They were just things in movies and shows and stuff. Mixed bag sounds about right though.

..Yeah, I guess they were. The sources are different, but the end result is the same, yeah. Mostly it was basic elemental things that I saw, but there was also some healing types and supposedly 'persuasive' types, among others? And a lot of them could make wings, which I guess goes with the theme.

I mean everyone's biased, unless they're a computer. Which way do your own biases lean?

Wings are definitely a big part of it. But I suppose sufficiently powered humans could manifest them if they really wanted. Dunno why they would, got all sorts of perfectly good machines for flying already, but they could do it. The molting though - right pain in the neck.

Video | UN: Ouroborosed -- Subject: AMA

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject