citynet | text | un: rico.dredd

I've got some big news, everyone. Could be the start of things happening directly to us instead of around us, so there's one point for experiment. Or drokking entertainment. I woke up handcuffed. Standard issue, nothing special. On all levels they shouldn't be, but I've tried everything. And they are not. coming. off. I know nobody came in while I was sleeping. And unlocking them isn't about skill, don't waste your time implying that it is. I’d like to know if somebody could find it in their gorgeous generous neighborly heart to bring a hacksaw. I’ll even take a sledgehammer and a spike if you have a VERY delicate touch and someone to vouch you’re not a serial killer Your good-looking neighbor in need, Rico Dredd

[ooc: Surprise, surprise - Rico's landed himself some mild city-provided timeout time. He is kind of starting to lose his shit. Plenty of characters are welcome to try breaking them, it’s going to be a very long 24 hours for him. Bring on your brain, magic powers, bullshit, smart comments, etc.

Rico's permissions/warnings are here. cw: hand injuries are involved bc he is insane. Also, I would greatly encourage threadhopping in this network post!]

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Not the turn of phrase I'd use, but the point is made.

I'll bring a few tools, including the elbow grease. Where can I find xiansheng?

[Now here's a conundrum. Does Rico trust his pal with the flashy eyes with a handsaw or other unspecified tools? No. Does he trust him in a location, alone, knowing that he's vulnerable?

Hahahaha. What a joke. Not to make it personal - he wouldn't trust anyone. Hasn't in a long time. But Rico's putting this out there for a reason. He can still take on anyone with his hands tied behind his back - and they're handcuffed in front, so it doesn't even matter.]

You got someone to vouch that you're not a serial killer?

[Just kidding. This is only half a joke.]

If you'd done anything to warrant retribution, I would not need to wait for our kind hosts to put you in a compromising position.

Buddy, buddy, buddy… If that’s your way of trying to hit on people, I’ll just let you know there are better ways to do this.

Oh? I'm afraid xiansheng is mistaken. This one has standards.

Anyway, does xiansheng want help or not? Laoshi says night hunting for beasts and fighting in large battles does not, in fact, make this one a serial killer and that it is something quite different from what I had thought. He was not inclined to elaborate, however.

[Night hunting. Good vision, huh? Ignoring the first part of that message-]

I'm gonna just take the word of a stranger who goes by a dick joke and trust that you don't have a jar of human nipples stashed away somewhere. Sit tight, pal. I'll message you.

[Rico texts him a location - the fifth floor of an office building. Well-trafficked grey coffee-stained carpet that softens the sound of Rico's boot heels as they strike the floor, navigating a maze of hallways that lead to more confusing rooms full of identical cubicles and wall dividers. And to top it all off, glaring fluorescent lights.

He hopes it gives him a headache.

Anyway, Rico's kind of betting that there weren't many office environments in Liu's time. If he ever needs to kick over a potted plant or whatever, vanish around a corner or three... he'll have the advantage. So he's sitting in an executive boardroom, waiting. Two doors, a large window into the rest of the office. Spinning around in the chair out of boredom. Wrists raised to eye-level, intently staring at the interior of the keyhole for the hundredth time. A little bit of dried blood crusting them. A little.

Hurry up with your tools, buddy. He's waiting.]

[The office doesn't give him a headache, but it's a near thing. Binghe's opinions on modern living have rapidly fluctuated between delight over the mechanical conveniences to annoyance over the bland quality of the manufactured decor. This hellscape of grey and beige is definitely in the latter category.

The uses of such labyrinthine architecture are not lost on him, however. He didn't sense an speck of cultivation on Rico, but the man has a good head on his shoulders. That's useful.

Executive boardroom sounds important. Imagine Binghe's disgust when it shows the same lack of adornment as the rest of the office; it's certainly writ across his face in a sneer as he gazes at the not-wood paneling. Their bathroom door was made of the same flimsy rubbish. The leather chairs are nice though - he may get one to bring home.]

Xiansheng has picked an interesting place to hide himself.

[He sets a duffel bag full of tools down on the table, unpacking a hacksaw, hammer, and chisel from it. His eyes fall to the flimsy table. Is that plastic? It has a woodgrain pattern but it looks fake. Like the not-wood the bathroom door is made of, but darker.]

I suppose it would have been too much to ask for a proper smithy.

[An anvil would have been nice. Instead, they'll just have to make do with the cinder block he pulls from the duffel bag and sets on the floor.]

Lay the chain flat over the brick.

Wait, [at]AbyssalBlade, is this why you were asking me all those weird questions about serial killers out of nowhere?

Augh, I'd have given you more useful answers if you'd told me why you were asking!

[at]rico.dredd, I'm very sorry to hear about your predicament! I can vouch for Liu Feiyu, if you'd like. I've known him nearly ten years, and while being our world's strongest warrior has left him with a rather strange and morbid sense of humor, he's an honorable man who will not attack a defenseless person without just cause. As for myself, I have only ever taken a life in defense of myself and some children I was responsible for at the time. Is that acceptable...?

Edited (dreamwidth doesn't like @ signs at the beginning of paragraphs apparently) 2023-07-13 23:42 (UTC)

Why else would this one ask about such things if the terminology was not foreign to me?

In any case, laoshi need not have intervened. Concerning yourself with the opinion of such a man is quite beneath your dignity.

[ Excuse me???? He is literally right here, you pompous asshole. ]

[He said what he said.]

Tsk! I thought you'd simply seen the phrase somewhere on the network and were asking about the definition! Negotiating with someone to accept your assistance is a far more serious matter!

Really Feiyu, just because we're in a new world where nobody knows us doesn't mean you can forget about face! How am I supposed to cope, if people start thinking my friend Liu Feiyua is a disrespectful and feckless sort who can only be relied upon to make off-color jokes and taunt people in their time of need, hm? How do you think that would make me feel?

Yes, laoshi! Sorry, laoshi! It was not this student's intent to disparage laoshi's image in front of others!

He will take laoshi's lesson to heart and do better next time.

[How quickly the big bad wolf turns into a tender little grass-fed lamb.]

[They're so platonic and heterosexual about each other, istg.]

That's more like it! Now, bring me up to speed. What is Feiyu doing to assist Mr. Dredd with his situation?

Yes, laoshi.

This one will start with the hacksaw, bolt cutters, and chisel. If physical means don't work, this one will try to disintegrate the metal with spiritual and demonic qi.

Yeah, that's fine. Does he pay you by the word, or is he really just that swell of a guy?

Is Mr. Dredd so unfamiliar with friendship that he can't recognize it? That's a little sad, don't you think?

But no, Liu Feiyu isn't paying me. As the more experienced dimensional traveller, I simply feel a responsibility to help him manage his reputation and avoid social faux pas, that's all.

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