text | un: rico.dredd

[judgementcrime]

I've got some big news, everyone. Could be the start of things happening directly to us instead of around us, so there's one point for experiment. Or drokking entertainment.

I woke up handcuffed. Standard issue, nothing special. On all levels they shouldn't be, but I've tried everything. And they are not. coming. off.

I know nobody came in while I was sleeping. And unlocking them isn't about skill, don't waste your time implying that it is. I’d like to know if somebody could find it in their gorgeous generous neighborly heart to bring a hacksaw. I’ll even take a sledgehammer and a spike if you have a VERY delicate touch and someone to vouch you’re not a serial killer

Your good-looking neighbor in need,
Rico Dredd


[ooc: Surprise, surprise - Rico's landed himself some mild city-provided timeout time. He is kind of starting to lose his shit. Plenty of characters are welcome to try breaking them, it’s going to be a very long 24 hours for him. Bring on your brain, magic powers, bullshit, smart comments, etc.

Rico's permissions/warnings are here. cw: hand injuries are involved bc he is insane. Also, I would greatly encourage threadhopping in this network post!]

Comments

un: 05

[zerofive]

You aren't the first.

un: rico.dredd

[judgementcrime]

You too? Who else?

[zerofive]

Not me. Another fool I know. It seems this place has its own form of law enforcement.

If the pattern holds, it will be temporary. Try not to permanently dislocate your thumbs in the meantime.

[judgementcrime]

Funny thing that. I'm pretty sure to enforce the law somebody would have to have broken it first. And I haven't done anything remotely exciting.

[zerofive]

If only excitement were the measure of the law: many crimes are boring.

I am not judging you, of course. I am prepared to accept that you were chained up for no reason. The rules by which this place seems to operate are exactly that inexplicable.

[judgementcrime]

[As if he doesn’t know that.]

Yeah. Maybe I dropped my load in the wrong toilet. Try not to use the second floor men’s room at City Hall, third stall on the right.

[zerofive]

noted.

text | un: AbyssalBlade

[alloriginalheavenlypillar]

Oh? Did you do something in particular to aggravate our captors?

I'd be inclined to repeat this experiment.

I might even be willing to lend a hand and saw if xiansheng would be so kind as to disclose what he may have done.

[judgementcrime]

Read above, Liu. It's dangerous in this city to crap in new places, but you know the stall if you want to give it a whirl.

[He's assuming there's only one person who'd call him xiansheng and act so familiar. His good buddy Liu Feiyu.]

If you're bringing the saw, I think you'd better find some elbow grease as well.

[alloriginalheavenlypillar]

Not the turn of phrase I'd use, but the point is made.

I'll bring a few tools, including the elbow grease. Where can I find xiansheng?

[judgementcrime]

[Now here's a conundrum. Does Rico trust his pal with the flashy eyes with a handsaw or other unspecified tools? No. Does he trust him in a location, alone, knowing that he's vulnerable?

Hahahaha. What a joke. Not to make it personal - he wouldn't trust anyone. Hasn't in a long time. But Rico's putting this out there for a reason. He can still take on anyone with his hands tied behind his back - and they're handcuffed in front, so it doesn't even matter.]

You got someone to vouch that you're not a serial killer?

[Just kidding. This is only half a joke.]

[alloriginalheavenlypillar]

If you'd done anything to warrant retribution, I would not need to wait for our kind hosts to put you in a compromising position.

[judgementcrime]

Buddy, buddy, buddy…

If that’s your way of trying to hit on people, I’ll just let you know there are better ways to do this.

[alloriginalheavenlypillar]

Oh? I'm afraid xiansheng is mistaken. This one has standards.

Anyway, does xiansheng want help or not? Laoshi says night hunting for beasts and fighting in large battles does not, in fact, make this one a serial killer and that it is something quite different from what I had thought. He was not inclined to elaborate, however.

@keter

[gradenine]

you didn't even feel anything while you slept?

un: junpei

[coolerjunpei]

how do you know no one came in while you were asleep?

this isn't doubt or anything, just uh comparing setups i guess. like do you tape the door from the inside or something?

voice; un: Hob

[100more]

[ Even if the original message was sent via text, Hob figures a man in handcuffs would have an easier time speaking than texting. ]

Oh my God, are you alright? You didn't feel someone handcuffing you?

[ Seems like a person would wake up from that. ]

txt; @wrenched

[wrenchedup]

that kinda night, huh?

[judgementcrime]

No.

@Kromer

[gripper]

( well that's a hell of a lot better than what she suffered, but it sure isn't ideal either! )

If the hacksaw doesn't work, I'm pretty handy with a hammer-and-nail pair so to speak. I use them a lot back home.

[judgementcrime]

There are certain ways to wake up in handcuffs that I’d enjoy. This isn’t one of them.

[wrenchedup]

Damn shame the Lady didn't make the trip with me. Can't promise I'm not a serial killer, but I would have had a sledgehammer at least!

Need some company while "the effects wear off"?

[judgementcrime]

Or something.

[Isn’t this the paranoid punk rambling on about the codenames? There might be a chance this question is actually sincere, rather than fishing in very unsubtle ways on the dirt to break and enter into his place while he's sleeping.]

I’d love to tell you all my secrets, but I'm not looking for another surprise down the line.

[judgementcrime]

Number two indicator of a serial killer is naming their sledgehammer. Number one is owning one. Trust me, I'm an expert.

I don't need company and chitchat. The "effects" won't wear off before my patience does.

[judgementcrime]

[Moving on;]

How temporary?