text | un: rico.dredd

[judgementcrime]

I've got some big news, everyone. Could be the start of things happening directly to us instead of around us, so there's one point for experiment. Or drokking entertainment.

I woke up handcuffed. Standard issue, nothing special. On all levels they shouldn't be, but I've tried everything. And they are not. coming. off.

I know nobody came in while I was sleeping. And unlocking them isn't about skill, don't waste your time implying that it is. I’d like to know if somebody could find it in their gorgeous generous neighborly heart to bring a hacksaw. I’ll even take a sledgehammer and a spike if you have a VERY delicate touch and someone to vouch you’re not a serial killer

Your good-looking neighbor in need,
Rico Dredd


[ooc: Surprise, surprise - Rico's landed himself some mild city-provided timeout time. He is kind of starting to lose his shit. Plenty of characters are welcome to try breaking them, it’s going to be a very long 24 hours for him. Bring on your brain, magic powers, bullshit, smart comments, etc.

Rico's permissions/warnings are here. cw: hand injuries are involved bc he is insane. Also, I would greatly encourage threadhopping in this network post!]

Comments

un: 05

[zerofive]

You aren't the first.

un: rico.dredd

[judgementcrime]

You too? Who else?

text | un: AbyssalBlade

[alloriginalheavenlypillar]

Oh? Did you do something in particular to aggravate our captors?

I'd be inclined to repeat this experiment.

I might even be willing to lend a hand and saw if xiansheng would be so kind as to disclose what he may have done.

[judgementcrime]

Read above, Liu. It's dangerous in this city to crap in new places, but you know the stall if you want to give it a whirl.

[He's assuming there's only one person who'd call him xiansheng and act so familiar. His good buddy Liu Feiyu.]

If you're bringing the saw, I think you'd better find some elbow grease as well.

@keter

[gradenine]

you didn't even feel anything while you slept?

[judgementcrime]

No.

un: junpei

[coolerjunpei]

how do you know no one came in while you were asleep?

this isn't doubt or anything, just uh comparing setups i guess. like do you tape the door from the inside or something?

[judgementcrime]

Or something.

[Isn’t this the paranoid punk rambling on about the codenames? There might be a chance this question is actually sincere, rather than fishing in very unsubtle ways on the dirt to break and enter into his place while he's sleeping.]

I’d love to tell you all my secrets, but I'm not looking for another surprise down the line.

voice; un: Hob

[100more]

[ Even if the original message was sent via text, Hob figures a man in handcuffs would have an easier time speaking than texting. ]

Oh my God, are you alright? You didn't feel someone handcuffing you?

[ Seems like a person would wake up from that. ]

[judgementcrime]

[Despite that very reasonable assumption, rico.dredd's reply is still sent through text.]

I'm just peachy. Can you tell?

txt; @wrenched

[wrenchedup]

that kinda night, huh?

[judgementcrime]

There are certain ways to wake up in handcuffs that I’d enjoy. This isn’t one of them.

@Kromer

[gripper]

( well that's a hell of a lot better than what she suffered, but it sure isn't ideal either! )

If the hacksaw doesn't work, I'm pretty handy with a hammer-and-nail pair so to speak. I use them a lot back home.

[judgementcrime]

I'm hoping that means you do carpentry.

un. dimitri.

[stubboarn]

Interesting.

I have a shovel, we can try and break the chains that way, if that attempt hasn't been done. Where are you?

1/2

[judgementcrime]

[Right to the point. Rico likes that. Username Dimitri, you’re a straight shooter.]

Shovel's better than nothing. I'll message you.

2/2 PRIVATE MESSAGE, move to action

[judgementcrime]

[The location Rico sends to this guy is a small park. Just a rectangle patch of short-shorn green dumped amongst a city block. Trees standing out against uniformly cut grass, benches made of wrought iron and chipped wood, meandering, well-trodden paths to break it all up. Your normal, idyllic, mid-sized American city's obligatory patch of green to serve its nonexistent citizens.

Although to Rico, this entire city isn't even really that. Not even a district in his mind - just the smallest fragment of a neighborhood. He can't say he can complain about the space though, after what he's called home for the last year.

It's pretty easy to find him, a little ways in. A man in his early twenties leaning his hip against the back of a park bench, alert of his surroundings without making it too obvious. Strong shoulders and an equally strong jaw - wearing a tank top and motorcycle pants. To make him even easier to identify, his hands are handcuffed in front of him. His wrists rubbed raw, flecks of red on grey from a distance. Still, if rico.dredd is inconvenienced, he doesn't seem to show it.]

text | un: kitsuragi

[aceslow]

Punishment without trial, huh? Sounds like something worth further investigation. Not that I'm volunteering.

[ Though he may, if boredom sets in too much. ]

Is there a keyhole?

[judgementcrime]

Punishment without trial. Feels just like home.

To save you some further questions: yes, there's a keyhole. Standard double lock, purely mechanical, no electronic components. Yes, I've tried picking it. No, it's not working. No, I'm not doing it wrong.

text, un: 013

[blattella]

Scheiße. You seriously didn't do anything actually illegal and they're punishing you????

This is big. This is huge. This is terrifying. Sorry I can't actually help, unless you're down to have your hand cut off. Pretty good at that sort of thing.




You don't think that City Hall's starting to clamp down because we've all been raking over it a little too much for their liking??

[judgementcrime]

[Thank you SOMEBODY for recognizing the gravity of the situation.

Even if it is bug arm boy.]

Yeah, I think I'll pass. Love the offer though, I'm sure the amputation would've gone great.

I don't know what it could be. Maybe I moved the wrong stapler. Pissed in the forbidden urinal. Who even drokking knows.

voice to text | @SCARAMOUCHE

[numerouno]

You know, you're asking a lot for nothing, babe.

[judgementcrime]

[Don't MENTION THAT-]

Oh, I don't think it's that much. We're all in this together, aren't we?

text; un: UEHARA

[metafictions]

[after nosy nellie over here reads every other response:]

Any luck yet?

un: rico.dredd

[judgementcrime]

[It’s been a long, long day, and so Rico’s response is correspondingly short.]

No.

text ↪ un: 十五

[zangetsu]

why does weird shit keep happening to you?

[judgementcrime]

Who is this clown and why are they talking like they know me?

[Why don’t you pick a username he can read?]