text | un: rico.dredd

[judgementcrime]

I've got some big news, everyone. Could be the start of things happening directly to us instead of around us, so there's one point for experiment. Or drokking entertainment.

I woke up handcuffed. Standard issue, nothing special. On all levels they shouldn't be, but I've tried everything. And they are not. coming. off.

I know nobody came in while I was sleeping. And unlocking them isn't about skill, don't waste your time implying that it is. I’d like to know if somebody could find it in their gorgeous generous neighborly heart to bring a hacksaw. I’ll even take a sledgehammer and a spike if you have a VERY delicate touch and someone to vouch you’re not a serial killer

Your good-looking neighbor in need,
Rico Dredd


[ooc: Surprise, surprise - Rico's landed himself some mild city-provided timeout time. He is kind of starting to lose his shit. Plenty of characters are welcome to try breaking them, it’s going to be a very long 24 hours for him. Bring on your brain, magic powers, bullshit, smart comments, etc.

Rico's permissions/warnings are here. cw: hand injuries are involved bc he is insane. Also, I would greatly encourage threadhopping in this network post!]

Comments

[blattella]

Think it's worth someone else going into City Hall and doing a little experimentation? I can actually lose an arm, so I'm not worried about the amputation part myself.

(Don't worry I wouldn't actually amputate anything even if you said yes) (unless you can also grow parts back)

You need any supplies or anything while you're all locked up? Might as well offer something actually useful.

[judgementcrime]

[When life hands you a slight neurotic freak of a buggy mutie willing to cut off his arm and think nothing of it... go on and squeeze, make some sugar-free lemonade.]

I could do with a few things. Give me a moment to think.

If you're willing and able, you're a champ for taking one for the team. There's something funny about these handcuffs I think it'll bypass.

[blattella]

[If his hot scientist mom is going to insist on making him regenerate, then by god Gregor's going to use that for evil! Good. Boredom.]

Take your time. Not like I got anything to do, and this is actually helpful, so I'm happy to wait until you got a list.

If you got no further theories on why you're in the cuffs in the first place, we need to figure out what, exactly, is so damn important in there that you're in time out for it. ESPECIALLY if you don't know if you found anything of note in the first place????? It's just really damn weird, so sign me up.

[judgementcrime]

[Good man 👍.]

I did what I do every day. Picked up some groceries. Spruced up my place. Climbed the walls out of boredom - literally. Went up onto the roof on the city hall to see if I could find anything new there. Still nothing but a nice view, so I went back in and stopped by the men's room on the way out.

That's it.

[blattella]

............Yeah that sounds about normal. I mean, I'd SAY trespassing, but I don't think we've ever been nabbed for that in general before, considering we're all living in other people's homes (or so they want us to believe) (what is the truth???)

I'll replicate it, see what happens. Though maybe not the climbing part. I go climbing walls, I'll cause real property damage. Hope this stuff gets taken off soon though, buddy.

[judgementcrime]

["Groceries" consisted of two dozen bottles of eighty proof alcohol and a box of generic not-twinkies. This is fairly typical for Rico - has been his shopping list before, actually - and therefore it doesn't occur to him to bring it up.]

Let me know how it goes. You've got my number.

[ ;) ]

You got anyone lined up to lop off your hand, or are you planning on some do-it-yourself action?

[blattella]

[wym that's not normal, that's how a bitch copes in this place????]

You got it. I'll even spread out urinal use, so we can figure out which toilet's the offending party if any.

And I got a friend or two I could ask, but if you want to see something really messed up, you're welcome to get added to the list. (Hint: it grows back. My arm grows back. It's gross!)

I’m fucking crying at this extremely scientific experiment

[judgementcrime]

Attaboy.

I’m sure I’ve seen more messed up. But if you’ve got friends jumping at the chance to do it, you might need better friends.

he's taking it very seriously!!! urinal science, just for his internet homeboy.

[blattella]

Probably, but it's still gross. And


they're not JUMPING at the chance. More like, we're all the sort of close where if we have to, we can do that sort of thing. Death means nothing in my line of work so it's not as big a deal to be like 'hey, if I get cuffed, please tear my bug arm off so I can regrow it already' hahahahaha