text, un: gautier, cw: some references to alcohol use and sexual content

[laidtocrest]

[Specifics tbd, but there's a drunk Midnight involved and he doesn't have a shirt and might've lost his pants. he's fucking naked.

But for now.]

a guy lost his clothes to the washer. anybody saw a pink shirt?

[Attached is a picture of Midnight. I have no fanart, so you must imagine this guy: no shirt, Jojo-posing, wearing a pink feathery thing, drunk, fly open.]

and here's the guy who lost his stuff

Comments

text; un: The Seventh Crown of the Seventh Demon King

[unrequite]

no need to panick aldyies and gentlemen im unclothed but otherwise in no danger thanks to young Sylvain here

[ He absolutely bothered Sylvain until he promised he spelled his name right. He's too drunk to do things correctly. :( ]

he'll be drunkposting until further notice. feel free to threadjack or ignore politely. sorry. thank

[unrequite]

does antyhg knwo

does anyonce knwo how one might pay someone fro their services

Sy lvain is refusing payment but i refuse to let him go uncomsc
comspfk
unapid
unad
*undpaind
i want to pay him he's very nice

keep on going my inbox can handle it

[laidtocrest]

[But Sylvain sees this, and he looks at it, he looks at it again, he mouths the word nice to himself because why do people keep on saying that.]

i'll make sure he gets to a bed in one piece

[Unless, through some miracle, someone like Orchid shows up at the last second and he can pass the leash to her, but as Sylvain doesn't know who this person is, he can't hope and pray to the goddess for that salvation. All he knows is that Midnight is very drunk.]

i swear i'm spacing these out between meme tags but my slut is also very strong

[unrequite]

a saint

[ action ]

Is this your normal state of being? Charity, kindness to strangers? It's enough to make one weep.

[ Midnight's sitting now because Sylvain told him to earlier. It's an excellent idea, exactly like all of Sylvain's other excellent ideas. ]

"SLUT. SLUT. SLUT." - us, apparently

[laidtocrest]

Actually, no, it's not. I guess you just got lucky.

[That sounds terrible.]

Nevermind. Anyway, you want me to get you some water? [Maybe bread, maybe a castmate who can take you to their place, or...?]

[unrequite]

Your refusal to stop this absolute river of benevolence makes me feel as though you... you're... You're sending mixed signals, young sir.

[ Bread would probably be helpful. Broca would also be helpful, but honestly, he's a good person and doesn't deserve this. ]

[laidtocrest]

A lotta people have told me that in the past.

[This would've been so much easier a week or two ago, before people apparently decided to randomly murder other people. He could just leave Midnight somewhere. Now, it needs to at least have a lock on the door. Fuck his life.]

But, definitely not like this. You feel like puking or can you hold it in?

[unrequite]

Holding. Never fear, I'm quite the professional drunkard.

[ ... That's not a no. Ominous. Midnight grins, though, so he certainly doesn't see a problem here. ]

You should be kind more often, then. You're good at it.

[laidtocrest]

That is the weirdest thing anyone's ever said to me and I'm gonna just blame it on the fact you're drunk...

[He's rummaging through another machine and digs up a...]

Here.

[It's a dress!]

Turn that into an...I don't know, bag if you're going to vomit.

[unrequite]

[ Midnight sighs. He looks a bit gutted. ]

No. Please put that back. It's such a lovely dress. Some nice girl will miss it. Anything but that.

[laidtocrest]

You sure? I think it'll bring out your eyes.

[Even if he's using it as a vomit bag, but okay, he's hanging the dress over yonder, next to Midnight's coat.]

[unrequite]

That's the reason, darling. If it flatters me, I take care of it. That's simply how it works.

[ Midnight reaches out and gives the dress a gentle pat. (He will also help with the vomit bag hunt from here on out, though. Even while drunk, he's gotta be doing something.) ]

[unrequite]

i did like that shrit but these feathers are quite nice so if you find my shirft feel free to claim it. an act of charity. you're wecome

[unrequite]

same goes fro my slacks. please, fi you find yourself bereft of a pari of good trousers, avail yourself, i allow it

actually no, this might be funny

[laidtocrest]

i'll get him some pants, don't worry

[And true to his word, he is going to grab a hold of Midnight and nod his head towards the other washers.] C'mon, we can probably find something that fits in one of these.

action; if it's funny it's not my fault, i'm bad at comedy

[unrequite]

Are these all your clothes, then? Or is this theft?

[ Midnight seems a bit conflicted on this point, but he'll obediently get up and let Sylvain lead him to the other machines, peering inside. ]

[laidtocrest]

I'm not sure where the clothes come from, and I'm not sure why the washers do this sometimes, but...hey. Look, if you feel bad you can return the pants after someone else claims them. And if nobody claims them? They're yours.

[He's found...a garish tunic that he's offering to Midnight. Notably. it would look terrible on Midnight. Terrible color for his complexion.]

[unrequite]

It seems a bit personal when the clothing doesn't come from a store...

[ But he'll allow it, coming up to accept the tunic and just, pulling it over his head, uncritically. Sylvain, he's too stupid for this, please, ]

How's this?

[laidtocrest]

Terrible.

[Look, he's trying to balance being helpful with being...not helpful, it's a careful line they're treading, they're trying to thread the needle.]

You look like... [Words.] A sick wyvern choking on a deer too large for its stomach. Keep it on.

[unrequite]

[ Midnight looks at himself, then nods solemnly. ]

Quite right. Only I, with my incredible looks and confidence, can save this poor garment from the throes of iniquity, the falseness of beauty as a social construct.

[ He pulls his hair through the collar and settles the pink mumu over his shoulders again. I hate this. ]