text, un: gautier, cw: some references to alcohol use and sexual content

[laidtocrest]

[Specifics tbd, but there's a drunk Midnight involved and he doesn't have a shirt and might've lost his pants. he's fucking naked.

But for now.]

a guy lost his clothes to the washer. anybody saw a pink shirt?

[Attached is a picture of Midnight. I have no fanart, so you must imagine this guy: no shirt, Jojo-posing, wearing a pink feathery thing, drunk, fly open.]

and here's the guy who lost his stuff

Comments

[laidtocrest]

look, i'm the only one being terrorized right now, really, and i'm doing everyone a favor. if i didn't contain the naked guy, then he would've come after you.

and in the grand scheme of things, is a drunk naked guy really the worst of our problems?

[ action ]

[unrequite]

Quite right. The worst of our problems is man's propensity for murder.

[ It is a miracle that Midnight is still this literate. ]

[laidtocrest]

Don't worry, I've had plenty of people try to kill me before. I'm kinda used to this sort of thing.

[Even if the power nerfs and lack of weapons makes things difficult, but you know what? They can improvise.

...anyway that's a joke don't ready too much into it.]

[unrequite]

[ You're asking a drunk man who genuinely loves everyone around him way too much to not read too much into things? Oh god. I'm sorry.

Anyway, Midnight kind of looks like he is watching the aftermath of a kicked puppy situation and the puppykicker in question doesn't even say sorry. ]

Well, just because it happens often doesn't make it right.

[ ... This would be so much more heartfelt if he wasn't currently drunk and wearing an outfit that makes him look like a tree the Lorax would only speak for out of the kindness of his heart. ]

[laidtocrest]

[What the shit? People care about his well being? Seems fake, but okay. He laughs, and it's just a bit fake but thankfully Midnight is drunk so surely he won't read too much into that practiced laugh.]

Sorry, just a bad joke.

[unrequite]

[ Usually, Midnight can pinpoint a fake laugh from across the room! Fortunately for Sylvain, he is too drunk and forgiving to give it more than an odd, passing look. ]

Well, we'd best get you some better jokes, then. Knock knock.

[laidtocrest]

...

[...]

Who's there...? [Unsure.]

[unrequite]

...


...

...


Let me start again. I forgot. Lost my train of thought.

[ Without waiting for permission: ]

Knock knock.

[laidtocrest]

I can't do this, I refuse to do this again. I'll go find a sense of humor somewhere else, and once I do, I'll tell better jokes. 'kay?

[unrequite]

You are so lovely. Of course. I'm so proud of you.

[ Midnight pats his cheeks. Why! Is! He! So! Touchy!!!!!! ]

[laidtocrest]

[He takes a step back because why!!!!!!! So touchy!]

Don't say things you'll regret the next day. Come on, that's the first rule of being drunk. If you're gonna make mistakes, make fun ones.

[unrequite]

[ ??? ]

I haven't said anything I'd regret, though... Remind me tomorrow if you don't believe me.

[nutkick]

yeah, keep containing him. he's your problem now.

[ the last question is just insulting. ]

i'm pretty sure there is a long process before you have the right to expose your dick and balls to someone. and I'm pretty sure the other person needs to be fucking willing to deal with it.

i certainly don't want it.

[laidtocrest]

[Now, see, on one hand this is fair, nobody wants to see cock and balls when they're heading out for dinner. There's a time and place for that. He understands this. Finds it relatable, even.

But, sometimes, cocks and balls happen? Communal bathhouses, or accidents when staying at a place with one tub and many people. Or swimming, because what are swimsuits, he doesn't know. The effort to keep a 100% cock-and-ball free lifestyle seems exhausting.]

okay, change of subject, where is wherever you're from like? unless that's also off limits.

[nutkick]

[ please don't call him out on the double standards here, considering denji is a-okay with naked men in the bathhouse (blame it on the culture), but anywhere outside that domain is a crime against justice!!

he's caught off guard by that question. what is small talk again? ]

you mean Japan?
just a normal country. can't say it's the same as this city.

after all, i haven't seen any devils around. [ just random murder and nudity so far. ]

[laidtocrest]

yeah? explain japan to me like i'm five. i haven't really been out of my country much so i'm interested in other places, and it sounds like where you're from is a lot different from where i grew up.

[Come now, they're going to unpack the anti-cock and balls culture one inch at at time, this is now the travelzone. A travelguide. Travelventures.]

1/2

[nutkick]

[ DON'T CIRCLE BACK TO THE COCK AND BALLS, YOU! ]

you're asking me a tough question, man.
... how do i even explain a boring country?

[nutkick]

[ let him think.

oh- ... ]

well, the weather is nice most of the time. our girls are hella pretty, and we have a local hero named Chainsaw Man. you can say he is the STAR of Japan 😎

[laidtocrest]

oh really?

[What's a chainsaw- you know what, it's fine, he's got a vivid imagination. He can fill in the blanks.]

interesting name. tell me more about this guy?

[It'll prolong the return to cocks and balls.]

[ action; ]

[unrequite]

Sylvain, I'm not naked in this picture, am I? I've been committing crimes on purpose, but I wasn't planning on indecent exposure being one of them.

[ Midnight is squinting at the topic's picture with great concern. He's... he's wearing pants, right? He doesn't want to doubt his own eyes, but he also knows that his senses might be a bit untrustworthy at the moment. ]

[laidtocrest]

You're wearing pants. I'd stop you before you posted a pantless pic.

[In fact, he's getting up and walking over to pat Midnight on the shoulder. There, there.] Some people just come from different cultures and have different feelings about shirts and things.

[unrequite]

Bless you, dear lad. I think I would've been quite upset.

[ Midnight sighs, thoroughly relieved. (He might actually be tearing up a bit. Again. He's not usually this emotional as a drunk...) ]

I mean, if the people wanted it, so be it, but I do realize that some things are too sacred, to the point of obscenity...

[laidtocrest]

Yeah, you gotta save something like that for after you've had a good time. Can't just pull it out for no reason. Don't worry, I get where you're coming from.

[Slut to slut communication...]

[unrequite]

oh my GOD no revisions no edits 10/10 what's going on instant save

[laidtocrest]